When Venting Becomes Vampirism

July 14, 2022
Energy Vampire, Venting, Blow off Steam

What do you do when you’re in a conversation with somone who is venting their frustrations? Nod your head, show compassion, comfort them, make an excuse to walk away? The person is either sharing emotions in conversation with you because they feel safe, or because they want to get some of the energy back that they lost to the situation.

When the person is a victim of a bad situation, you don’t want to make it worse.

Yet there is a tipping point where listening to them vent becomes exhausting and slips into energy vampirism. When you recognize it, there is a way you can stop losing energy mid-conversation, without being rude.

The person venting feels ineffectual to directly address the situation they are unhappy about. Maybe you can relate to what they are going through. They want to talk about it with someone who will support their point of view in an effort to reclaim their power.

Because they are navigating a power loss, quite often they have an energy deficit they are looking to fill. They get energy and power from the interaction with you.

While you might feel a momentary high from engaging in their emotional drama, if they are vent-vampiring to fill their deficit, soon you will feel worse. The energy vent by the angry, sad or frustrated person plus the energy you give, add up to exhausting.

The good news is you can change your response and shift the energy without saying a word.

When you find yourself in a conversation with someone vent-vampiring, take a moment to notice your body’s response.

You likely feel some pull of energy on your solar plexus, just below your diaphragm above your belly button. It is where the person is tapping into your energy to gain power that they didn’t feel in the situation they are complaining about.

You may also feel distracted or mind fog that redirects your focus to the story they are telling you.

With your eyes open, use your imagination set protection between you and the venting person — protection could look like a beautiful rose or a warriors shield. Place the protection in front of your belly to protect it from them vampiring of your power and in front of your brain to protect it from them redirecting your focus.

Once you lovingly set the protection, you likely will notice a shift in conversation. The person isn’t getting the energy they want and will look for another person to vent-vampire.

After the conversation, notice if you picked up any negative energy before you put your protection in place? Use your imagination again to direct unwanted energy from your body into a rose, then send that rose far away to dissolve, with no harm done.

The great thing is you can do all of this while listening and they don’t even have to know.

If you are the one venting, notice if you’re seeking to refill your energy from the person listening to you or simply asking for a compassionate ear.

If you find you’re looking to regain your power or energy from the exchange, pause to reflect on situation where you lost power. Maybe it’s time to change your relationship with this situation, person or group?

You can reclaim your power without taking it from another person.

Visualize calling your energy back from the situation, person or group of people. Imagine a stream of your energy magnectically gathering in a big golden ball above your head.  Pop the ball and reclaim your energy as it flows down into the top of your head to fill you up.

  • Bethany B says:

    Thank you for a beautiful explanation of this phenomenon, Natalie! I appreciate that it differs from the usual “run far away from energy vampires” advice. I am grateful for a tool that allows me to remain in both a conscious and compassionate place during these types of interactions.

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