The Hazards of Reading Someone’s Mind
“You should know how I feel.”
The closer we are to a person the more we assume they will interpret and respond to our needs and desires without verbal communication. It’s tempting to try to intuitively read other’s needs to reduce conflict in relationships but in doing so we enter hazardous territory.
Our first point of reference in any situation is how we would feel or experience it. That is the root of why people expect others to know how they feel. Those of us who are naturally intuitive first experienced reading others feelings and needs empathically (second chakra). When we empathically read there’s a tendency to match the emotion which alters our clarity.
As we evolve our intuitive skills to a point of better boundaries, we move out of feeling a person and matching the energy, into a space of seeing (sixth chakra). When seeing rather than feeling we are in a stronger position to provide support, if it is welcomed by the person in need.
Another hazard of reading someone’s needs and responding, rather than asking for direct communication, is identifying the source of truth we are seeing. Each human has four need centers:
- mind (conscious or subconscious)
These aspects of Self are not always in agreement. Our need centers perceive their yes/no with different priorities and filters. The body may determine rest is the top priority while the mind and emotions override it with an agenda that they perceive is more important to complete before rest is allowed. When we try to gauge this priority for someone else and respond to what we see, we come across as controlling rather than supporting what they know to be true for themselves.
In addition, when we read others without their permission, even if it is from a place of wanting to help, we are intruding on their psychic space. That intrusion whether consciously noticed or not, creates discomfort for the person we are reading. They feel outside energy in their space and find it harder to get clear on their own needs. They push back actively or passively to try to regain a sense of stability for themselves.
People we care about may insinuate they want us to read their minds or know what they need without us asking them, but when we do there are many potential land mines to navigate. Our best course of action is to communicate more than necessary when we sense someone needs something from us before we act. And stay focused on keeping a clear awareness of our own needs so we can communicate them to those who support us.
That’s very insightful stuff. It’s especially tempting in a marriage relationship to expect our spouse to understand and empathize with our feelings and needs, but that leads to so many failed expectations and misunderstandings. It’s also easy to think we understand theirs without asking. I really like your last sentence about staying aware of our own needs so we can communicate them to those who support us. I have a tendency to go with the needs and wants of someone else and sacrifice my own.
Thanks Sandy, it is a lifelong journey to stay aware of our own needs. Just last night I was pausing to listen. There’s always many oppurtunities for distraction.