Some people fuel their life by tapping into the energy of others. The most skilled energy consumers find a way to hook into us and keep us hanging. Part of their pattern is use of a compelling promise that goes unfulfilled. It is sticky to keep us from detaching from them. This type of draining relationship connection feeds on our deepest desires, making it particularly hard to reclaim our power.
We may notice the relationship has us waiting on a future return but subconsciously feel there’s a payoff in it for us, the fulfillment of something we need. Our desire may be the love they offer, the purpose we feel from helping them, a sense of being valued, or the influence we may gain from connection to their projected power. I call this the hook and retreat energy dynamic.
This friend, lover or family member frequently says or insinuates the value of staying connected to them is in a future promise. “When I do ______, you’re going to get ______.” When I make a lot of money, when I become famous, when I get a divorce, when I get promoted, when I die, when I finish whatever I am doing that requires me to ask you for more energy than I give you in return. Unfortunately the time of rebalancing rarely comes. The energy consumer hasn’t figured out how to generate their own power so they seek it in outside sources. If they do finally achieve a goal, there’s no lasting payout for us because their target changes to a future date.
We all have been on both sides of energy exchange; no one is immune to moments of giving or taking out-of-balance. But when we experience hook and retreat, our body will let us know through a sensation of tightness or queasiness in our belly. This is the location of our third chakra, where we activate our personal power. The body notices that our power is being redirected. The result is less energy for our own creations and a sense of being off-balance.
The hook and retreat relationship has moments that make us feel crazy. The words, actions and energy of the energy consumer are questionable enough to evoke a sense of uncertainty. Our intuition is trying to make us aware of the deception. The energy consumer always believes their own story so they don’t realize they are being deceptive. The imbalance created from the cord into our core makes it hard to see clearly and remove ourselves or renegotiate the relationship.
Here are a couple of tools you can practice to reclaim your power when you have been hooked:
- Clean out your 3rd chakra. Visualize a gold rose and see it mopping out that belly area front to back, soaking up all the energy that is not yours in that space. Imagine the rose flying somewhere far away and dissipating. Call your energy back to you from any person you’ve given your power away to and fill the empty space with your own vibration.
- Visualize a Protection Rose in the space between you and this person. The intention of the rose is to filter out any attempts to attach to your energy.
The stealth aspect of this behavioral pattern is how it taps into our subconscious desire. We are seduced by a subversive agenda. The truth that we are never going to get the need met is hard to see. It feels possible and it feels strong. By reclaiming our energy space we have the opportunity to see the relationship more clearly and gain energy to use for our own creations.