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I got a call recently from a client who had just received an energy whack from a family member.   Her cousin had sent an email that read, “Guess who I ran into?” with a photo of herself squeezing this woman’s ex-love tight.  Knowing there was a lingering heartbreak.  When my client received the email she felt wobbly, off-center, angry and hurt.  She wondered why her cousin would intentionally cause her pain.

Another friend experienced an energy whack last week by having her confidence betrayed.  The intention behind her words misconstrued then repeated to others.  It brought up feelings of self-doubt.  She asked herself, should I trust this person anymore? Why did I even say anything?

An energy whack can come in the form of words (verbal, text or email), direct or indirect actions that wound us.  The vibration behind the words is charged with judgment, control, anger, competition and/or punishment.  The unconscious agenda of a whack is to throw the receiver off balance, push them away, so the person delivering it can feel more in control of the situation or claim the power position, thus establishing an adjusted boundary.

An energy whack might be rooted in jealousy, harbored resentments, defensiveness, fear of failure or other unconscious psychological sources that have nothing to do with the recipient.  When we experience being whacked by someone, it can take us from a perfectly normal state into a state of confusion, anger, distraction or depression.  The deepest whacks often come from someone we are closest to.  We care more about their perspective and our heart is more open to them, therefore the impact is greater.

To reclaim our sense of balance after being whacked, we need to clear the harmful energy out of our space.  This simple visualization helps us reclaim our spiritual seniority:

  • Imagine a bubble suspended in the air in front of your body.
  • Notice where you are feeling physical tension from the energy whack you received.  Is it in your belly, your throat, your head or somewhere else?
  • Intend that the energy of the whack you received move out of your aura body into the bubble. You might want to name it by the emotions behind it (control, anger, punishment)
  • It may move fast or it may be sticky and take a while.  You’ll feel when it is complete by a release of the physical tension.
  • When the bubble is full of all of the whack energy, send it to a faraway place in your mind’s eye and watch it pop.
  • Then call your energy back to yourself from this person and the situation.  See yourself being filled up with the energy of your own essence flowing into the top of your head.

Whacks catch us off guard and can throw is in a tail spin.  We’ve all whacked others unconsciously and sometimes we even notice it happening as the words slip out of our mouth, wishing we could take them back.  The more we learn to be senior in our energy space the less impact whacks have on us.  We can see the root of the energy and be more neutral to it. The more neutral we are the less we get triggered by others toxic energy sent our way.

The feeling of scarcity hooks us with a belief that there’s not enough, time, energy or resources to do what needs to be done.  We feel behind. If we crank up our adrenaline to meet the demand, later we feel depleted, because we forced our actions into an agenda that was unnatural.  We give too much to work or a relationship, failing to care for our self. Inner-peace is impossible when we believe that there is not enough time or energy.  In this mindset we are harried with constant striving to fit as much as we possibly can into every day.

The lie is that there is a limited supply of what we need to feel at peace… time, energy, support, tools, love.  We have all the energy we need as long as we take care of our self with: good sleep, healthy food, exercise and meditation.   When we get hooked by scarcity thinking our entire experience is thrown off balance. We lose our ability to set good boundaries with a relationship or job because our attention is focused on the lack, the energetic hook that there is a need much greater than we can fulfill; a vacuum of energy that tugs on our belly (third chakra), a magnetic force pulling us to give more and more.

There are two practices that help us reclaim our sense of having enough time and energy. The first is maintaining our grounding.  When we’re grounded in our own energy, we can recognize the outside demand. From a centered place, we are empowered to choose how much to contribute of our life-force.  We have the clarity that we’re not responsible to rescue the situation. We see our self as a contributor and know that doing our part is enough. And we succeed in our part, regardless of what the experience is for anyone else.

A mediation tool for grounding starts with visualization of a line of energy connecting the tip of our tailbone (first chakra) to the center of the earth. That grounding cord can be seen as a waterfall, tree trunk, animal tail, or beam of light; whatever feels solid for you. Intend that the only energy in that grounding cord is your energy and kick out anyone else who is hitchhiking in your grounding space.

The second practice is to shift the energy just above your belly button (third chakra) to neutrality.  That place where you get gut feelings that signal something is amiss.  The solar plexus is where we hold our personal power, thus where demand energy hooks into our space.  It is where we feel anxiety for not having enough time that drains our energy.  Visualize the space in your belly as a crystal ball full of only your energy.  Notice that it is neutral, clear or see-through. Because it’s clear as glass, when others try to tap into your energy with demands, there’s nothing for them to attach to. Neutrality allows you respond to others needs without over giving.

Staying centered in our power rather than allowing the demands in our environment to pull us out of alignment requires practice. Choosing to believe that there is plenty of time and energy is essential if we strive to create a consistent experience of inner-peace.  By eliminating the hook of scarcity energy we can be inspired by our work, relationships, environment, home and options. We can to show-up for all of it with an authentic belief that the best possible outcome is happening and we don’t need to know what that is or how it’s going to happen. We trust it is.

*Note: Reflections inspired by the book called Sacred Economics. It makes the point that our monetary system is based on scarcity, the manmade belief in limited supply of money.

Life throws us obstacles, bumps that come out of nowhere.  The goal is to stay loose enough to adjust to the changes and centered enough to keep in control when the shit hits the fan.  When the ground beneath us moves so fast that it’s hard to focus, we have to tune into our intuitive knowing, stay in that controlled out-of-control state.

Skiing and snowboarding teach us this flexibility.  If you want to enjoy your journey downhill there’s no option but to be 100% present; aligned body-mind-spirit.  Adjust to the shifting terrain, in the moment.

Our core (third chakra), center-of-gravity is in the bliss zone, balanced with velocity, snow and the contour of the mountain.  When another skier crosses our path, a mogul, rock or tree faces us, we turn but we don’t turn permanently away from our intended path.  We take a turn that avoids collision and another turn that returns us to our direction of choice.

In the moment we may recognize that our chosen path is not taking us in a direction that is going to bring us pleasure, success or good circumstances, so we permanently redirect our course. If we don’t foresee the need to turn or the obstacle throws us out of our center we’ll crash.  Varying degrees of wipeout occur, depending on how tuned-in we were to our body and our surroundings.

We make graceful turns when we are centered in our truth, tuned-in to our surroundings and willing to adjust course when the flow points us in a different direction.  Practicing mediation tools each day gives us this core strength when faced with any challenge. To do this we:

  • Take the time early in the day to clear our mind (sixth chakra) of the past and other people’s energy or agendas.
  • Ground (root chakra) our energy in the present day.
  • Call any of our scattered energy back to ourselves and visualized it filling every cell of our body.

Being grounded and saturated in our true essence is the bliss zone.  It allows us to be present for the obstacles in life and to navigate them without feeling as much trauma. It feels aligned, peaceful and full of possibility.  Taking responsibility for our life by owning our energy space teaches us that we can keep our focus yet be flexible enough to make graceful turns.

Sex, Love & Soul Contracts

Natalie —  February 15, 2012 — 5 Comments

Soul contracts or relationship agreements have a heavy influence on our experience of attraction and attachment. When we have a relationship agreement or soul contract with someone we find ourselves drawn to them and may not understand why. We just know that something strong is pulling us to connect.

Attraction is a combination of the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. The enduring connections combine all aspects aligned for both parties. When one party experiences a significantly stronger attraction than the other and the relationship doesn’t take root or roots itself in shallow soil.

Sexual connections with someone we have a soul contract with can be expansive, crack us open and leave us wanting more. The momentary energetic oneness stirs up all that our souls have known together. It can be both ecstatic and excruciating. Beyond the primal physical and psychological aspects of our mating game, what is it that hooks us in? Why might one person think its love and the other not?

When we have a soul contract with someone, a promise we’ve made in this life or a past lifetime, both parties don’t always see the agreement the same context. It may be there is a debt owed from incomplete karma. Or our promise was to show-up to remind the other person of something they asked us to remind them of, even if it doesn’t feel so loving when we deliver the message.

Our messenger may arrive when we aren’t in a good place to receive the message or they may not relay the message in a form we comprehend. We may react, stir the pot with awareness that isn’t fully informed, and create more karma with each other rather than healing or competing past unresolved energies.

We may feel like we’ve known the person forever although we just met. We might feel an irrational sense of attraction when we have nothing in common; or an unexplainable sense of attachment after a short encounter. These are not just psychological or physical responses. There is a layer of spiritual activity a play.

When both parties are present to the possibility of the soul contract, healing and growth is heightened. A powerful aspect of self-responsibility comes when we own our ability to update our relationship agreements rather than be at the whim of whatever comes.

If you have a soul contract you are ready to update to present time you can do this by going into your mediation space and visualizing the relationship agreement with the particular person, the contract:

  • See the details or general aspects of the agreement and choose what parts you would like to keep which parts you are ready to release.
  • Imagine the parts that are outdated being crossed off the contract.
  • Send the request through your intention to the soul of the other person.
  • Sign the new contract with your mark, to make it real.
  • Put it in an imaginary bubble and ask the Supreme Being to bless it.
  • Ask your Akashic record keeper to record a copy of the new agreement and to give a copy to the other person’s record keeper.

If the relationship is very deep and influential you may need outside help from a professional clairvoyant healer to see clearly the aspects of the relationship that need to be adjusted. Romantic relationships, love and sex are powerful influencers in the human experience. Honor that power with your positive intentions and give yourself grace for the healing process.

Work energy is great to access at the appropriate times but it puts a damper on warm connections with loved ones and can override our personal needs, the true juice of a joyful life.  Shifting our lead energy vibration between work and non-work time can be difficult. There is pleasure derived from certain aspects of the work and it takes our focus off of other aspects of life we have less control over. Our focused, productive analytical Self is “on” and were getting things done but how do we change the tone when the work day is done?

Today I was reminded of the unspoken lesson that Mister Rogers reinforced at the beginning of each TV program.  He walked in the door of his home, took off his suit jacket and put on a cardigan.  Then he changed out of his professional shoes and into sneakers.  All while singing!  He ritualistically shifted gears as soon as he got home, to a focus on relaxation, connection and playfulness.

In addition to changing our clothes or moving into a new environment, we can consciously change the volume of certain vibrations of energy in our space.  Visualizing an imaginary gauge in front of us to make adjustments, like a fuel gauge reads empty to full, the needle can show us how full our space is of a specific energy.  Is our analyzer on 75%, decision maker at 50%, income earner and task oriented Self at 100%? What about our creative energy, curiosity, sensuality, adventurousness?

At the start of a work day we turn up those energies that will be helpful to in getting our work done.  At the end of the day imagine turning them down and turning up the volume of the vibrations you want to experience while not working.  You may also want to visualize the energy from all of your work encounters and activities moving out of your space into a balloon and either tie the string holding that energy balloon somewhere to retrieve later when needed or set it free to move out of your aura field, leaving a cleaner space for your next focus.

I’m applying the Mister Rogers principle to consciously shift my energy from work to personal time… won’t you join me?  Turn down the analytical, achievement oriented business vibration and turning up the creative, nurturing, permission to relax vibration at the end of your work day.

The Meditative Path to Clarity

Natalie —  October 12, 2011 — 5 Comments

We all want clarity, to feel solid about our decisions and choices.  We want to know what is best for us.  What path to take.  We realize at a deep level that no other person can give us the answer.  We may seek reflection and input from others, but we are doing so to hear ourselves speak our first thoughts, notice our response to this advice, to see if we agree or disagree and why.

We know there is information available to us that is immeasurable, essence level insight. Stuff we can’t explain even though we try to explain it.  We wish we felt a more solid about to the intuitive guidance available to us.  We want to know we are making choices that will lead to happiness.

Clearly interpreting our inner-guidance is not a skill taught in school or at home.  Often when we have an intuitive aptitude for reading other’s energy it is a result of needing to develop this skill for our own safety or survival.  It can be more difficult to see our own truth when our intuitive skills were cultivated from a point of trauma or lack. To develop clarity we need to remove obstacles to our vision.

There are as many layers of experience influencing us as there are years in our life, some would say more.  When we begin to focus attention on listening to our inner-guidance, it’s like learning to walk all over again.  Our legs are a little wobbly, we let the momentum of gravity move us forward and toss a leg out to balance ourselves, then another. Only learning to trust its support and gain confidence in our body as we maintain our balance with each forward step.

To develop the skill of trusting our intuitive guidance, a daily meditation practice is essential.  This doesn’t need to be an hour with your eyes rolled back into your head and an empty mind.  The type of meditation I refer to is tuning into your energy body for 5 or 15 minutes. I do so every day while walking my dog.  It’s that simple. Focus awareness on the following elements:

  • Grounding Cord – that which connects us to the foundation of the earth, our root extending from the tip of our spine to the center of the earth
  • Cosmic Energy –energy from the spirit realm, flowing down into us from the crown of our head
  • Earth Energy – energy from the earth, it runs up through our legs to join with the cosmic energy
  • Aura Bubble – our personal space as defined by an energy field that surrounds our physical body
  • Center of Head – the space between your ears and behind your eyes where you “see” rather than “feel” intuitively

Tuning into these energy tools and claiming them for ourselves, will dissipate the fog of doubt and help us clean out external influences.   Meditation is an essential form of spiritual housekeeping that allows us to see clearly.  From the
space of greater clarity we can even identify when we need external perspective to get beyond our own blocks. Meditation prepares us for deep listening, the kind that helps us break through the mistof uncertainty so we can align action with our vision to create the life we want.

Write to Access Your Intuition

Natalie —  September 21, 2011 — 2 Comments

An easy way to access our intuition is through writing.  Approaching our journal with intention can take us beyond recounting activities of the day and the cathartic process of purging experiences, to a point of clarity that only comes when the self is aligned with the Self.

This type of written practice is an internal conversation.  The energy it activates inside is why so many people desire to be writers.  Not only do we want our voice to be heard and find the written word a fulfilling way to share it, we connect with our essence through writing. It makes us feel good.

The inner dialog that occurs as words flow from our center-of-head (sixth chakra) through our hands (creative channels) into words, calls the mind-body-spirit into alignment. We go within and track our thoughts as they pour out.  In order to dive this deep in writing we have to commit to push past our critical voices. The aspects that want to stop us from putting into concrete form thoughts that we are programed to see as inappropriate, selfish or crazy.  It’s only in pushing through these walls of resistance by moving quickly as we write that we reach our inner-guide.

Our intuition is not some separate “thing” that resides outside of us.  It is as solid and reliable as our senses of smell, taste, touch, sight and hearing.  We just have lost our understanding of how to access the sixth-sense.  The practice of writing to access your intuition can be cultivated with a simple framework:

  • Set aside 20 minutes, less time will decrease your odds of getting past the resistance and purging of life experiences.
  • Take a deep breath and set your intention before you start
  • Commit to moving your pen on paper or fingers on the keyboard non-stop, even if your thoughts pause.  Just repeat the last word you wrote until you
    breakthrough the block.
  • Allow freedom to download trite information, and then dive into your question, directing the conversation with your Self.
  • Notice if other people’s energy shows up in your thoughts as you write.  They could be interfering with your ability to see clearly. People who are concerned about how your changes will affect them can be very psychically nosy.  Visualize their energy moving into a bubble outside of your space and send that bubble of their energy back to them.

We don’t have to know why or how we “know” information that comes to us intuitively but to disregard the guidance is to set ourselves up for more pain.  Through journaling we can cultivate this sixth-sense in a concrete way. It helps us tune into our truth, filter out the external influences on our energetic space and find clarity.

Dreaming is easy but allowing our dreams to take form can be tricky.  Our focused vision, intention and actions eventually result in opportunities to “have” what we desire. If we want the fruits of our creation to become longterm parts of our experience we need to be ready to receive by matching there vibration.

It may be hard to receive because the results don’t come in the form we imagine or because we’re more comfortable with wanting something out in the distance than having it up close.  Think of the lottery winner who ends up poorer than they were before they hit the jackpot a few years down the road.  They were able to manifest temporary financial prosperity but they couldn’t “have” it in the long run.  Their vision of themselves didn’t align with the vibration of wealth.

Blocks that keep us from having what we desire, contribute to self-sabotage such as criticism of what we’ve called into our lives.  They keep us seeking rather than satisfied.  We have manifested a dream relationship, job, financial success, vacation or home and we don’t let ourselves enjoy it.  Or we determine its flawed, we hadn’t seen the reality of it and find its not what we really wanted.  We continue to strive for a distant goal rather than appreciate the present moment. We doubt our wisdom in creation, not seeing that we’ve created powerfully and can continue to focus our positive intentions. Our needs shift and become clearer through experience. As we gain clarity on our true desire, we hone in on the feelings we would like to have while living our dream.

One way to practice receiving is through a simple meditation. With your attention centered in your meditative space, between your ears and behind your eyes (sixth chakra):

  • First insure that your energetic grounding cord, the root that connects the base of your spine to the center of the earth is fresh and set to “full release” so it’s ready to recycle any energy in your aura that you no longer need
  • See all energy blocking your receptivity fall-down your grounding cord and out of your space.  Identify vibrations ready for release such as self-sabotage, criticism, perfectionism, judgment, fear, control, unworthiness, guilt and shame.
  • When you feel your aura has been cleared of the energy that doesn’t allow you to receive, imagine a large bubble of golden light above your head filled with the vibration of “havingness.” This feels like satisfaction, gratitude and receptivity combined.  Add a pinch of joy to that bubble and watch that bubble sink down into your aura space, filling you up with this capacity to HAVE  and enjoy what you desire.

In practicing this energy clean-out and fill-in, you align your vibration with receiving.  As your dreams come into physical form you are ready to allow the goodness into you life to stay.

The word control has a bad rap.  It’s associated with being anal, uptight, rigid, difficult and domineering.  There are ways that control supports our health and others that block us from having joy.  The two primary faces of control that we look at as we cultivate our intuitive awareness are:

1)      Control that sets a clear boundary for our energetic space

2)      Control of others, an intrusion into their energetic space

This first type of control helps us maintain “seniority” or “authority” over our energetic space.  In activating this type of control we claim our true power to be the one calling the shots regarding our soul’s experience in this body.  When we don’t exercise seniority in our psychic space (sixth chakra, center of head), other people’s energy and the energy of spiritual entities (beings without a body) can get in our aura and alter our emotions and perspective.

The presence of another’s energy in our psychic space, alters our clarity and drains our power.  One indicator that someone’s energy is in your space, versus your own thoughts seeking them out, is a thought of them that pops into your mind while you are doing another focused activity.  For example your mind is engaged in a project or conversation, thinking a specific line of thought then – bink – out of nowhere their name or a thought of them interrupts your thoughts. 

It does no harm to move their energy out of your psychic space and give yourself room.  This can be done using the simple visualization of their energy moving out of the center of your head into a bubble and sending that bubble of their energy back to them.

The second type of control has earned its bad rap, yet it is generated from our human nature, so no one is immune.  From the earliest age we develop abilities to control and manipulate others to get our needs met.  It’s a survival skill and comes from a place of innocence.  As we grow-up, especially if our basic needs are not met, these skills may evolve into unhealthy controlling behaviors that intrude in other people’s energetic space.  Often they show up in the guise of trying to help someone, provide advice or fix something we perceive is broken in them.  Whenever the attempt to heal or help is engaged without the permission and consent of the person you have energy on, it becomes controlling and has negative results.

Most controlling behavior is subconscious. The controller perceives they are doing something positive to help the person they are trying to control.  But it doesn’t feel that way to the person being controlled.  Even if it sounds good, it still feels sticky-icky when help comes from a place of control.  And the deeper motivation behind it is always to make the person controlling feel better.  The out-of-control healer (OUCH) intrudes into our psychic space. This disrupts our clarity and undermines our personal power.  

As an exercise in consciousness we can use our intuition to notice when we are pushing an agenda, not staying neutral to someone’s choices or pain. This usually results in wanting to fix their problem or take away their suffering.  These are the points where we are most likely to invade their space with unwanted help, trying to make ourselves feel more comfortable by controlling our perception of their pain.

To develop our intuitive awareness we need to heal our use of control energy.  This happens when we exercise seniority over our space and become conscious of our controlling behavior, shifting into a place of neutrality around another’s choices and experiences.  Then we can truly help them in ways that honor their own spiritual seniority.

Awhile back I spent some time reflecting with a friend on what a great job would look like. Without focusing on the form it would take, we listed the types of experiences I would like to have with co-workers, clients and the company. The values, environment, support to do my job, working hours, how I would feel, how much time I wanted alone or interacting with others. The door was open in my view to self-employment, working for a company and the form of vocation. I made my wish list into two-pages of affirmations focused on what I’d like to feel in my work and income earning space. For a month I read the list every day reminding myself of what I desired to create and adding the occasional fresh possibility. Then I got distracted by life and let it sit in a drawer for a year.

When I came back to my wish list, I was in the process of considering a job offer that would allow me the time to do my soul’s purpose work as well as have a steady income working part-time for a technology company doing work I also love to do. In writing out my wish list I had realized that I had a diversity of needs that may not all be met through one type of work. I was amazed at how the job being offered lined up with my vision.

The desire for meaningful work haunts so many of us. Often we have a lack of clarity on what a great career would be for us. I discovered that by removing the labels of the job function and type of business, focusing on a how I want to feel and live day-to-day, I was able to create vibrational clarity for my career space. Following the Law of Attraction I chose to shift my energy to match what I desired until it showed up.

Beyond fleshing out our needs and desires for a work space we can use meditation tools to prepare our energetic body to receive what our hearts desire. Here’s a simple meditation for cleaning out and architecting our career space:

  • In a meditation space, start with visualizing a fresh grounding cord, the attachment from the base of your spine to the earth. This root creates a solid foundation.
  • Imagine a rose floating a couple of feet in front of you and notice the stem of the rose running down into the earth. This is our career cleanout rose. See any belief or energy held in your body that is blocking a positive work experience move out of your aura and into the rose. Some examples to cleanout: confusion, fear of failure, control, financial fear, the belief that work has to be hard, other people’s judgments, self-judgment. When this rose is full of all that unneeded energy, cut the stem and send it off to a faraway place and watch it explode.
  • Visualize a new rose for your career design/vision. Visualize dropping into the blossom of the rose all of the energies you would like to experience in your work space. Some examples: ease, financial prosperity, respect, fun, work/life balance, flexibility, intellectual stimulation or inspiration. When the rose is full of all that you want to create, ask your higher power/God to bless it, cut the stem and release it to the universe to seed your vision.