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Addictions form in response to the sensation of fulfillment or relief we experience when we consume a substance or take an action that allows us to escape less desirable feelings. We can become addicted to regular things that in-and-of-themselves are not bad for us, such as thoughts, foods, beverages, shopping, reading, sex, sports or people. When we engage in anything to avoid our depression, anger, fear or unhappiness, it locks in the negative energy preventing growth and flow. We develop a compulsive physiological need for the relief it provides while it lets us stay stuck.
Intuitively sensitive people are more highly drawn to the escape of addiction simply because we feel so much of the energy around us. Unlike tying our shoes or brushing our teeth, most of us weren’t taught how to manage our energetic boundaries. In fact it is rare if one’s awareness of energy is acknowledged and validated by society. Without skills to create a sense of safety amidst the ocean of energy we feel, we are left to figure it out on our own. As children we were aware of the energy around us at home, in school and everywhere we went. The barrage of information was at times overwhelming, and may even have caused us to manifest physical symptoms. At times our empathy and the desire to help others had us subconsciously take on their pain to help them heal.
The intensity of this sensitivity often materializes with coping mechanisms such as suppression, denial or addictions that allow us to go “out of body” and avoid the response altogether. As adults we have the opportunity to reclaim our personal power by validating the intuitive sensitivity we previously denied. Through acknowledgment of our heightened inner barometer for the energy in our environment, we can learn to set our space and generate a healthy experience of that awareness. We don’t have to shut down our intuitive guidance when we generate new boundaries. Through regular visualization of our aura bubble at its appropriate size (three feet in every direction around the body), we limit the intrusion into our space of vacillating energy. It helps to paint our aura a fresh color in our minds-eye (avoid white as it attracts spiritual entities). A clear vision of our space allows us to reduce the ups-and-downs that are externally generated. When we are only experiencing our own feelings rather than those of the people around us we feel more stable and we are less driven to the relief addiction temporarily provides.
Last summer I was at a yoga retreat and campout in Estes Park, Colorado. After my first morning of yoga I wasn’t quite ready to be done with the meditative time from savasana. I walked down to the river, rolled out my yoga mat and sat in silence. My body and spirit were conflicted, it was noon and I needed nourishment. I considered walking back to my tent to get an apple, but decided my physical hunger wasn’t as important as my need to listen to Spirit. My life was in transition. I watched clear water ripple over the river’s rocky bottom, releasing desire, allowing my mind to rest in the space that had been created from stretching. Then I laid back and looked up into the sky and treetops. Camouflaged among the leaves of a tree I noticed an apple. I sat up in amazement, suddenly seeing apples all around me on the ground. What a joy! I picked a ripe apple from the tree and ate before returning to meditation.
My spirit had found its way to the one particular spot by the river where its needs could be met without distractions from my body’s hunger. The apple tree was my everyday miracle. It made me ponder how often I’ve been blind to what was being offered when it was right in front of my face. It renewed my faith in listening to my inner guidance and reminded me of the importance of taking care of both physical and spiritual bodies.
This summer I have been on another journey, this one farther away from home, a longer cycle of listening to my inner guidance and trusting the divine mystery. Along the way I have experienced a sense of universal support in the form of beautiful places to rest my head at night, animal and bird messengers, unexpected connections and out of the ordinary topics of conversation with strangers. In parallel, there have been emotionally and financially challenging events, the death of an old family friend, a dog fight, expensive car repairs and the dynamics of spending time close to family. Each an opportunity to respond with fear or love, to use the stirred-up energy to heal or feel wounded.
On the land where I’m house sitting, surrounded by misty forest, there are two apple trees. The fruit is not quite ready but I can see that it will be ripe soon. The apples remind me to notice life’s blessings and receive its nourishment. When I am on the path, choosing love, the universe provides for my needs in the most simple and magical ways.
The river of life is full of furious currents, meandering streams and quiet eddies. Some of us are better at staying busy in the torrent, others prefer relaxing into the flow of everyday life, but we all struggle with moments of feeling stuck. An eddy is a spot on the side of the river where the water gets caught in a loop, holding onto leaves and other debris. A period in our life when we feel blocked from forward movement; it seems we keep having the same experience, one that is not fulfilling. We may feel like some life circumstance is forcing us to wait and we have to endure, or that we’ve tried everything and we don’t know how to create a different experience. This can trigger coping mechanisms, activities that help us check-out to escape from the awareness of our unhappiness. We may watch too much TV, drink or generate some drama to distract us from the reality of what is occurring under the surface in our lives.
We have the power within to break free from stuck patterns and return to the flow of the river. While our outside circumstances may not change, we always have an option of shifting our response to them. A few moments of gentle focus on the area in our life where we feel stuck can begin to create a current that pulls us back out into the stream. This flow can be generated through a simple meditative exercise.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Imagine yourself with a solid connection between the base of your spine and the center of the earth. Visualize the bubble of energy, three-feet-in-each-direction around your body, your aura, containing only your energy. Let any energy that is not you release down the cord connecting you to the center of the earth. From this point of owning your space, consider the area where you feel stuck and ask your intuitive guidance for insight into a next step. It likely will be something small and seemingly in consequential. Like the butterfly effect metaphor, change as gentle as the flap of butterfly wings can create a hurricane on the other side of the world.
Intentional action is the key to creating larger transformation in our lives. Facing our subconscious blocks and resistance is a very tricky topic. We are responsible for creating happiness in our own lives but that doesn’t mean we’ve had examples of how to do it. We seek to form stronger access to our intuition to improve our awareness of what creates joy and a sense of flow in the river of our life. The challenge we face in learning to commune with our inner truth is recognition of the times we have betrayed ourselves, staying stuck in the eddy by tuning out. Tuning-in to our soul’s guidance invites new energy and positive flow.
We assume that bullying stops when we grow up and leave the playground of our childhood but it just changes form. Children grow into adults that learn ways to get what they want through other means. On the healthy side of development we take care of our own needs or ask others when we need something from them. Overt bullying is not tolerated among adults. Yet if a person doesn’t learn how to communicate their needs in a healthy way, they often continue to push their agenda on others in more manipulative ways. Sometimes this looks like a co-worker, friend or spouse who gives you options regarding a decision. When you choose an option that is not the one they want you to choose, suddenly it is no longer an option. You have no real choice. Control energy can be very subtle, such as someone telling you what you are going to do, rather than asking you what you are going to do. Or hijacking your time through pressuring you to do something they want you to do.
In the process of Self development, trying to control a situation is one way we test our boundaries with others and determine what is required to make things happen that we want to see happen in life. Children need good examples from adults who respect each other’s time, needs and energetic space. Adults who take care of the child’s needs and teach them healthy ways of getting their needs met. Behind all bulling behavior is a person’s fear that their needs will not be met.
When a person is bullying, you may sense their energy in your third chakra (solar plexus) personal power space. The control energy is trying to tap into your power center and redirect it for their use. It creates a sense of being pulled off balance. One part of us considers going along with their agenda to gain approval, even when we know the path is not right for us. Another aspect of us gets angry at having our needs and boundaries disregarded. This can activate resistance or conflict in the relationship. We don’t always have the desire or option to end the relationship with a person who bullies us, such as a family member or co-worker. In these situations we can use our energy awareness and practice self-care.
Here are two tools for preventing the bully energy sent your way from sticking to you:
1) Body of Glass – Imagine your body as invisible like Wonder Woman’s airplane. The control energy sent toward your body goes right through and has nothing to attach itself to.
2) Protection Rose – Visualize a rose that has a blossom as large as a stop sign and a thick stem that goes all the way to the center of the earth. Intend that this protection rose stands between you and filter out any control energy.
These tools will help you hold your center and feel unscathed by outside attempts to redirect your energy. With a clear mind and neutrality you can choose the path that is right for you.
Rarely do we wake up and ask ourselves, “Will I ignore the messages from my soul or listen to them today?” Instead we dive headlong into the moment: shower, coffee, breakfast, dog, kids, commute, work, exercise, dinner, lover, social activity, household to-do list, TV. We say YES or NO to whatever requests cross our path. In the midst of it there is our inner observer always on-call to assist us in making choices that define our life. It is one of the greatest challenges we are presented with in the human experience to stay aware of our inner guidance, to recognize our truth in any given situation, to say YES to our YES and NO to our NO.
Change is constant and unstoppable. When we resist change or stay stuck in a behavior that we have outgrown, we build up a backlog of denied requests from our inner guidance. As time passes the dam begins to fill with this avoidance, resistance and control. We are blinded by busyness and the path of least resistance often is the familiar more comfortable one. Saying yes to a little piece of inner guidance feels like a crack in the dam that could burst and flood our entire life with change. Beneath the fear is a desire for personal transformation, the kind that brings greater joy and peace. We want to feel free to be our authentic self. We want to choose our life rather than simply run from one demand to the next.
Taking a step in the direction of our intuitive truth may require facing a backlog of self denial. When we don’t choose to get un-stuck of our own free will, often life helps us along though introduction of unavoidable changes in those around us, our job, our health or some other wake up call. The more frequently we acknowledge and act on our inner truth the gentler the process of personal transformation and change becomes. Today say YES to your intuition; establish a co-creative relationship with it, a dialog that expands your awareness of the subtle ways your spirit communicates with you. Intuition is your tour guide to life. It is within you, free and always accessible if you listen.
