Archives For self-awareness

Work energy is great to access at the appropriate times but it puts a damper on warm connections with loved ones and can override our personal needs, the true juice of a joyful life.  Shifting our lead energy vibration between work and non-work time can be difficult. There is pleasure derived from certain aspects of the work and it takes our focus off of other aspects of life we have less control over. Our focused, productive analytical Self is “on” and were getting things done but how do we change the tone when the work day is done?

Today I was reminded of the unspoken lesson that Mister Rogers reinforced at the beginning of each TV program.  He walked in the door of his home, took off his suit jacket and put on a cardigan.  Then he changed out of his professional shoes and into sneakers.  All while singing!  He ritualistically shifted gears as soon as he got home, to a focus on relaxation, connection and playfulness.

In addition to changing our clothes or moving into a new environment, we can consciously change the volume of certain vibrations of energy in our space.  Visualizing an imaginary gauge in front of us to make adjustments, like a fuel gauge reads empty to full, the needle can show us how full our space is of a specific energy.  Is our analyzer on 75%, decision maker at 50%, income earner and task oriented Self at 100%? What about our creative energy, curiosity, sensuality, adventurousness?

At the start of a work day we turn up those energies that will be helpful to in getting our work done.  At the end of the day imagine turning them down and turning up the volume of the vibrations you want to experience while not working.  You may also want to visualize the energy from all of your work encounters and activities moving out of your space into a balloon and either tie the string holding that energy balloon somewhere to retrieve later when needed or set it free to move out of your aura field, leaving a cleaner space for your next focus.

I’m applying the Mister Rogers principle to consciously shift my energy from work to personal time… won’t you join me?  Turn down the analytical, achievement oriented business vibration and turning up the creative, nurturing, permission to relax vibration at the end of your work day.

How We Express Our Intuition

Natalie —  November 22, 2011 — 2 Comments

My brother playing music with some friends

It is human nature to want to express our experiences, to be heard, seen and understood.  Every form of art is connected to this desire to express.  Musicians, painters, actors, writers, movie makers are all giving voice to an aspect of their experience in a creative way, exploring their light or shadow with words, role play, stories, color and sound.  The act of expression in-and-of-itself provides a sense of relief and comfort.  Without an audience we can express and still feel energy has been moved through writing in a journal or singing alone in the car.  It allows us to find peace or at least a feeling of forward movement.

The throat chakra is where we carry the energy of communication and expression.  Our relationship with expression can be hindered and altered due to the responses we receive from others and how we interpret them.  Our sixth sense intuitive awareness may have led us to express things as children that were outside of the comfort zone of adults.  We noticed an unspoken truth that the adults around us didn’t want to acknowledge and spoke up.  The response ranged from invalidation (being told we’re wrong) to punishment.

Through the experience of others discomfort with our expression we learn to control it, shut it down or present it in terms easier for people to handle.  If we grow up only getting attention for negative behavior we may learn to use our expression to intentionally make people uncomfortable.  This can result in self-sabotage, conflict and attracts negative energy from others.

Artistic expression is where we are granted permission to show the full spectrum of human experience from beauty to pain, without being directly judged.  A song about heartbreak, a painting that draws out the beauty of our environment, a poem that mysteriously hints at secrets one wouldn’t speak out loud, we accept and applaud.  Yet if the artist takes their conversation out of the art form and to the dinner table of life we suddenly become uncomfortable with the raw truth.

To get beyond the socially acceptable framework of art as a forum to express our full-spectrum of intuitive awareness, we have to revisit old wounds and remove the rules that were programmed into our behavior before we were conscious of our free will.  This means noticing when our throat or belly gets tight as a signal from our higher Self that we are holding onto something that may need to be to expressed.

As we notice these beliefs and automatic responses in our body and behaviors that aren’t in alignment, we can have an internal conversation with the information.  Ask our self, “What do I want to do as an adult with this awareness in this situation?” It may be enough to acknowledge that we need to physically leave, or we may notice it’s necessary for us to directly address some unspoken aspect between us and another person.  The more neutral and non-judging we can be in expression of our experience, the more powerfully it lands.

The power of our intuitive awareness is not in the knowing but in how it impacts our life.  When we pay attention to our inner-signals and speak up with those who we trust our inner-guidance has purpose.  We’ve all said in retrospect, “I had a feeling that person wasn’t trust worthy” but if we had communicated our awareness to a third party we trusted for reflection, it may have protected us from some harm.  Expressing our awareness gives our consciousness a place to land and mull over the insight. Expression allows the flow of energy generated in a given situation to continue uninhibited without getting bottled up or stuck. It grounds our relationships in the present moment.

Write to Access Your Intuition

Natalie —  September 21, 2011 — 2 Comments

An easy way to access our intuition is through writing.  Approaching our journal with intention can take us beyond recounting activities of the day and the cathartic process of purging experiences, to a point of clarity that only comes when the self is aligned with the Self.

This type of written practice is an internal conversation.  The energy it activates inside is why so many people desire to be writers.  Not only do we want our voice to be heard and find the written word a fulfilling way to share it, we connect with our essence through writing. It makes us feel good.

The inner dialog that occurs as words flow from our center-of-head (sixth chakra) through our hands (creative channels) into words, calls the mind-body-spirit into alignment. We go within and track our thoughts as they pour out.  In order to dive this deep in writing we have to commit to push past our critical voices. The aspects that want to stop us from putting into concrete form thoughts that we are programed to see as inappropriate, selfish or crazy.  It’s only in pushing through these walls of resistance by moving quickly as we write that we reach our inner-guide.

Our intuition is not some separate “thing” that resides outside of us.  It is as solid and reliable as our senses of smell, taste, touch, sight and hearing.  We just have lost our understanding of how to access the sixth-sense.  The practice of writing to access your intuition can be cultivated with a simple framework:

  • Set aside 20 minutes, less time will decrease your odds of getting past the resistance and purging of life experiences.
  • Take a deep breath and set your intention before you start
  • Commit to moving your pen on paper or fingers on the keyboard non-stop, even if your thoughts pause.  Just repeat the last word you wrote until you
    breakthrough the block.
  • Allow freedom to download trite information, and then dive into your question, directing the conversation with your Self.
  • Notice if other people’s energy shows up in your thoughts as you write.  They could be interfering with your ability to see clearly. People who are concerned about how your changes will affect them can be very psychically nosy.  Visualize their energy moving into a bubble outside of your space and send that bubble of their energy back to them.

We don’t have to know why or how we “know” information that comes to us intuitively but to disregard the guidance is to set ourselves up for more pain.  Through journaling we can cultivate this sixth-sense in a concrete way. It helps us tune into our truth, filter out the external influences on our energetic space and find clarity.

The word control has a bad rap.  It’s associated with being anal, uptight, rigid, difficult and domineering.  There are ways that control supports our health and others that block us from having joy.  The two primary faces of control that we look at as we cultivate our intuitive awareness are:

1)      Control that sets a clear boundary for our energetic space

2)      Control of others, an intrusion into their energetic space

This first type of control helps us maintain “seniority” or “authority” over our energetic space.  In activating this type of control we claim our true power to be the one calling the shots regarding our soul’s experience in this body.  When we don’t exercise seniority in our psychic space (sixth chakra, center of head), other people’s energy and the energy of spiritual entities (beings without a body) can get in our aura and alter our emotions and perspective.

The presence of another’s energy in our psychic space, alters our clarity and drains our power.  One indicator that someone’s energy is in your space, versus your own thoughts seeking them out, is a thought of them that pops into your mind while you are doing another focused activity.  For example your mind is engaged in a project or conversation, thinking a specific line of thought then – bink – out of nowhere their name or a thought of them interrupts your thoughts. 

It does no harm to move their energy out of your psychic space and give yourself room.  This can be done using the simple visualization of their energy moving out of the center of your head into a bubble and sending that bubble of their energy back to them.

The second type of control has earned its bad rap, yet it is generated from our human nature, so no one is immune.  From the earliest age we develop abilities to control and manipulate others to get our needs met.  It’s a survival skill and comes from a place of innocence.  As we grow-up, especially if our basic needs are not met, these skills may evolve into unhealthy controlling behaviors that intrude in other people’s energetic space.  Often they show up in the guise of trying to help someone, provide advice or fix something we perceive is broken in them.  Whenever the attempt to heal or help is engaged without the permission and consent of the person you have energy on, it becomes controlling and has negative results.

Most controlling behavior is subconscious. The controller perceives they are doing something positive to help the person they are trying to control.  But it doesn’t feel that way to the person being controlled.  Even if it sounds good, it still feels sticky-icky when help comes from a place of control.  And the deeper motivation behind it is always to make the person controlling feel better.  The out-of-control healer (OUCH) intrudes into our psychic space. This disrupts our clarity and undermines our personal power.  

As an exercise in consciousness we can use our intuition to notice when we are pushing an agenda, not staying neutral to someone’s choices or pain. This usually results in wanting to fix their problem or take away their suffering.  These are the points where we are most likely to invade their space with unwanted help, trying to make ourselves feel more comfortable by controlling our perception of their pain.

To develop our intuitive awareness we need to heal our use of control energy.  This happens when we exercise seniority over our space and become conscious of our controlling behavior, shifting into a place of neutrality around another’s choices and experiences.  Then we can truly help them in ways that honor their own spiritual seniority.

Dark Night of the Soul

Natalie —  July 21, 2011 — 1 Comment

A Dark Night of the Soul is a period of time or season that many of us on the spiritual journey find ourselves in once or more in our life.  The Dark Night comes unexpectedly through some change or experience that causes us to question all that we’ve known to be true.  It is a time where we find ourselves feeling disillusioned with a temporary loss of faith.  What we trusted appears in a new light to have been temporary and incomplete.  The foundation we’d built our perception of the world on shifted and in that shift we found ourselves unsettled.  What felt meaningful feels meaningless, what seemed solid looks unreliable, what we thought we knew to be true comes into question.

Walking through a Dark Night of the Soul period requires intense resilience.  It pushes our edge, uses every ounce of our psychological capacity for survival. The Dark Night can be triggered by things like divorce, loss of a job, loss of a role or identity we’ve identified with or physical illness. Where it takes us is a profound void that may feel like depression, hollowness, hopelessness, emptiness and doubt.

How do we endure this mental and spiritual struggle? What gets us through the void and back to a point of inner-peace?  I’ve found that, an essential aspect of the healing and growth the Dark Night has to offer comes through the following conscious choices:

  • Acknowledging that the cycle of living in the unknown has purpose. 
  • Calling on our inner-guidance with much more frequency and consistency. 
  • Moving our body to allow the cycle to stay in motion on the physical level. 
  • Seeking support through the council of spiritual mentors who have walked the path before.

These paths of self-care give us strength and help us see that we will make our way to a season of light again.

The Dark Night may feel like a stuck place in our external life or a place where everything is in chaos.  However stagnant it feels or looks in the physical form it is an active season for the soul.  The soul is in chrysalis.  It has gone within and on certain levels may require us to go unconscious about some of the work underway. Transformation, upgrading our soul to integrate all the bits-and-pieces we’ve been encountering in our self-awareness and growth at the deepest level. 

Some of these levels of processing are beyond what we can or are ready to consciously “see” as they transform.  We have to be patient and trust the inner activity.  We have to ask our mind, as it seeks to fix what appears to be broken, the mind that wants a solution, wants answers, to be patient while the Dark Night chrysalis is evolving us from the caterpillar to the butterfly. 

The void has us fear a loss of Self.  It has us feel alone and as if we may have lost all of the ground we had gained through our conscious growth and commitment to self-awareness and health.  In reality there is no loss, at the other side of this deeply challenging soul searching cycle we find ourselves renewed, more mature, with an inner radiance that transcends our prior light.

The Dark Night is a soul crisis.  It pushes us to the full extent of what we feel our soul is capable of handling.  It may temporarily break our spirit but the Great Spirit/God never gives us more than we can handle.  The discovery of our inner strength, the renewal and appreciation for what generates inner-peace for us, makes the journey through the void, the rebirthing of our higher Self, well worth the battles we face when staring at the unknown.

Snowboarding and skiing exercise the same muscles we use to access our intuition.  Here are five ways that they can contribute clarity to other areas of your life:   

1) Align with Your YES

Flying downhill at high speed with gravity as your motor, split second decisions are your power.  Every turn, every choice of direction is an inner yes that aligns you with the mountain and puts a smile on your face.  When your choices align with your yes they bring pleasure.  Your intuition is validated and responds by informing you with increasing speed and accuracy.

2) Wipeout Prevention

To survive and stay injury free skiing you must pay attention and be present in the moment.  The consequence of having your mind on anything but what you are doing is painful. The same is true when acting on your inner-guidance.  Being distracted muddles your perception, often with painful results.

3) Give Your Analyzer a Break

Snowboarding connects you with your inner child.  As a kid you didn’t spend so much time analyzing life. You were curious, playful and stuck your tongue out to taste the falling snow.   Trusting your intuition requires that you approach life with child like openness to non-linear answers.

4) Read Your Surroundings

Navigation of the slopes includes maintaining awareness of the skiers around you.  A portion of your consciousness is engaged in quickly reading what those in your path will do next to prevent collision.  Your intuitive guidance is meant to help you navigate life through perception of how those around you are behaving. Then direct your life in a way that stays on course and avoids negative impact.

5) Move Forward in Whiteout Conditions

When there’s poor visibility, flat light or blizzard conditions, the way to stay injury free is to relax your body, trust its perception and response to the terrain.  If you try to be in physical control rather than flow, your body will be stiff when you hit a bump, launching you in an unintended direction.  When you strain to see what is not ready to be seen you meet whiteout conditions.  Relaxation of control is required for supportive information to flow.

So get out there and rip it up! Your body and soul will thank you.

When our personal space is entered in a way that feels disturbing, anger can alert us take action.  In response to our sense of discomfort, we may physically exit the situation, speak words that give us more space, make ourselves unavailable through non-response or surround ourselves with other people to create a buffer.  Unless it is a reoccurring pattern with a person we know, having a boundary violated usually catches us off guard.  When we recognize it in the moment we have a chance to respond and shift the energy. Otherwise we will find that we’ve given our energy away and have some self-healing to do.  

Recently at a conference out of town, a co-worker asked me to meet over dinner to discuss business.  When the opportunity presented itself for me to meet with a critical client at the same time, I asked if we could postpone our meeting.  He urged me to say no to the client, because he needed to tell me something important.  Over dinner I found myself listening to a long resume of this man’s experience that eventually led up to him admitting that he wanted to pick my brain for insights on how he could better sell himself as a writer and see if I would be interested in selling his writing services for a commission.  Over the course of the conversation I noticed my energy getting depleted and activated the Protection Rose tool described later in this post. I was angry at myself for saying yes to his request without a clear understanding of his expectations and angry at him for violating my boundaries.  When he finally got to the punch line it was clear that his urgency was to serve his private agenda not our mutual business commitments and I had missed an opportunity to do my job.  The boundaries of my time and energy had been crossed. 

Anger is a big neon flashing light pointed at an infringement of our boundaries.  It may feel like self-criticism if we noticed the boundary being crossed and didn’t stand up for our self, or it may be directed at the person or experience that crossed our boundary.  Usually people who push our edges aren’t conscious of it.  They are simply on a path to self-satisfaction and operating within their own reference points for what’s acceptable. They may not know any other way to source energy than to take it from someone else.  Physiologically anger gives us a surge of adrenaline that is necessary to go to battle on our own behalf.  The warrior within comes to assist us with resetting the boundary. We show up for ourselves. 

Anger itself is not negative but what we do with anger has given it a bad reputation.  Paying attention to the source of our anger awakens us to a boundary being crossed while it’s happening.  Only then do we have the opportunity to use our energy tools to hold a healthy space for ourselves.  My favorite in-the-moment tool is the Protection Rose.  When you feel someone trying to tap into your energy or enter your personal space in a way that is unacceptable, visualize a rose in the space between you.  The rose has a stem deeply rooted into the earth.  The blossom of the rose acts as a filter, protecting you from any energy coming from the person that is depleting or not in your highest good.  This works for phone conversations too.   Use of a Protection Rose shifts the experience so you can stay present to take further actions that are in alignment with your health.

Good Grief?

Natalie —  February 10, 2011 — Leave a comment

Grief is more than the emotion that arises when someone we love dies. It surfaces when we experience an ending of any sort. A relationship with someone we love changes or comes to an end due to breakup or divorce. We physically move away from a community or change jobs. Something about our life doesn’t turn out how we thought it would.

As we explore our intuitive nature, empathy is the first place most of us experience a sense of reading another’s energy (2nd chakra). Empathy has us match energy with those we care for to energetically support them. When we feel the intuitive information in our body rather than “see” it in our clairvoyant space (6th chakra) we may have a hard time separating our emotions from that of the other. We take on the pain of another and actually have physical symptoms from it. By doing this we are less capable of providing the needed strength for our loved one. We can maintain connectedness without matching the energy of those around us. In doing so, we tune-in to our own emotions without carrying the burden of the collective grief.

When our heart is broken with grief, the pain may cause us to check-out or escape the feeling. At times we may be unconscious of it but notice that we’re scattered, having a hard time focusing or not feeling very present in our body. A practice of inquiry, when these sensations of distance between body and spirit occur, helps us realign. Asking our body what it feels and listening. Sometimes it requires activation of physical activity like walking, yoga or dancing to reconnect. Feeling pain isn’t easy but allows the energy to move through the natural cycle, providing relief.

The best thing we can do for ourselves when there is a loss in our lives is feel the grief while nurturing our physical body and staying connected with loved ones. If we commit to notice when we want to disassociate from our experience of pain, we can find a path to staying more present. This may be through meditation, physical movement that connects spirit to body or reaching out to a friend to talk. Then when we find ourselves taking on the pain of another we are prepared to breathe deeply, and take the imaginary elevator from our 2nd chakra up to the 6th via the heart to lend strength to those we love.

Re-New Year Focus

Natalie —  December 29, 2010 — Leave a comment

From Blog Free Hugs: The Virus of Connection

The start of a New Year is an opportunity to reflect on what has been and set intentions for what will be.  We live in the present moment, but dreams and desires for the future create focus for our lives.  Without focus we are usually disappointed with the results of our efforts.  If our wish is to experience a greater sense of love and fulfillment, a focus on authentic connection with others will help us create it.  Last year around this time, I recognized a desire to communicate in relationships where I had been avoiding a topic because it felt uncomfortable to address.  My aim was to notice when I felt resistance to share my feelings, take a look at the discomfort and find a path, however imperfect it may be, to express what I was feeling. 

There were a few nagging situations where I was afraid to reveal myself, to show my vulnerability or risk a loved one’s disapproval, in order to express my experience and needs.  I knew that withholding this expression was blocking energy flow not just in the relationships but in my life overall.  These unspoken feelings subtly prevented me from being at ease with the person.  My old way of operating was to think through what I would say in advance.  The problem with this approach was that it was based on the past.  It didn’t leave room for me to be present for what I was feeling in the moment and it got in the way of true listening.  It also built up a big backlog of energy that, however softly delivered, had the potential to make the communication much more intense than it needed to be. 

As an empathic person since birth, I had a pattern of reading people’s receptivity, feeling it in my body, and pre-determining whether it was safe to share information.  It was a child’s survival mechanism that worked well before I had energy tools that created healthier boundaries.  I didn’t want to disturb the peace and therefore withheld my feelings if it seemed that the person would be upset.  Over a period of many months this year, opportunities presented themselves to practice a new way of communication.  I had to give up believing that I could determine the right thing to say beforehand.  I had to let go of the outcome.  I had to own my vulnerability and risk being rejected.  I had to accept that what I shared may not make the person feel good.  But most of all I had to re-train my inner child who was feeling for the other and denying my own feelings.  I had to give these intimate relationships a chance to meet the fully revealed me, rather than protect them from it.  It wasn’t easy but it was worth the effort. In every case it renewed our relationships, set them on more solid ground. 

My 2010 intention was born from desire to authentically relate with others.  I have found that true connection, seeing another and being seen, is the most fulfilling aspect in life.  We all yearn for this connection and unconsciously choose our actions based on our beliefs of how we can experience it.  We can deepen our intimacy with the one’s we love through letting go of the assumptions that we are doing someone a favor by protecting them from the truth of our experience. When our aim is to generate love we can’t fail.

Compelling Urges & Past Lives

Natalie —  December 15, 2010 — Leave a comment

Grandpa Del and grandma Florence circa 1944

We all experience moments of feeling compelled to repeat unproductive behavior, or drawn to a place or person with an intensity that doesn’t make sense relative to our life reference points.  In these instances, a magnetic power seems to be at play from which it is hard to break free.  The triggered emotional response influences our choices and actions.  Frequently the root of these inexplicable episodes is in a past life experience left unresolved.  It usually doesn’t feel good to have this type of compelling urge.  It feels a bit crazy, out of our control, vulnerable and illogical.  A look at our past lives reveals responses and behaviors that have no basis in our conscious history.  We use intuitive tools to gain clarity, break the cycle and reclaim our power.

Past life experiences are brought to our awareness to give us the opportunity to heal unresolved emotions that continue to unconsciously affect the present.  We can ignore, suppress or devalue the energy, but by doing so we are simply allowing it to remain in the backlog of unfinished business we tow around through this life and into the next. To objectively look at our own past life information we need to take the elevator up from our instinctual second chakra feeling space to our intuitive sixth chakra seeing place.  From that center of our intuitive space, we ask to see the root of the repetitive pattern and the details of the experience from this lifetime or a past life that generated it.   Once we have followed the story of that lifetime in our minds eye, we can acknowledge that our feelings were a valid response at that time.  Then we say to ourselves, “This feeling is no longer true in present time.”  In this way we reclaim our power to generate a new experience.  Next we watch all energetic-charge from the unresolved or false beliefs it contains release.  This can be visualized as the energy moving out of the past life memory into a bubble, that is sent far away and popped, or draining off of it through a grounding cord.  With the energetic-charge released from this past experience, we ask our Akashic (soul) record keeper to update our soul’s record with this shift. As a final step, we fill in our energy space with a big golden ball of light vibrating at our own energy.

Our desire for answers and inner-peace sets the intention for what is revealed in the process of reading past lives.  Ultimately the question we are asking of this information is, “what does it mean for my life now?”  The answer we receive holds a deeper truth, allowing us to heal in this lifetime.  Exploring our past lives helps us more gracefully move through the lessons our soul came here to learn.