Archives For relationship agreement

It was the hardest winter in the sixty-plus year history of our family ranch. Record rains, snow and freezing weather many times from December through early March. The extremely abnormal weather put a big stress on the pregnant mama cow’s right at the time they were ready to give birth.

We had several cows with newborns that needed a stay at “Hotel Corral” where they had shelter, extra hay and room service (high protein grass pellets) delivered in the morning by yours truly. We had four calves who lost their mothers from complications pre-or-post birth and a young first-calf heifer who we had to help give birth, pulling the calf as she pushed. Its head was too big and both could have died. Thankfully they are doing great now.

I helped bottle feed the calves, massage them, encourage them to walk and love them. Being in close relationship, I began to recognize the unique soul signature of each calf, cow or bull just like I see my dog and humans.

It was emotionally hard to witness them suffer, while doing all we could to help. It brought up a lot of questions for me. I’ve always felt good about the way our family raises cattle organically, the old-fashioned way. Lots of room to roam, graze and in winter hay cut from our own non-chemically treated fields.

Now I was asking myself uncomfortable questions. What is my relationship with eating meat? How did humans become so detached from the source of their food? And what is my soul agreement with each of the calves who I know are being raised to be someone’s dinner in a couple of years?

Hard realities for a cattle rancher’s daughter to look at after being away from it for 25 years. I bonded and had a soulful relationship with each of these calves. My soul agreement was to love them and care for them while learning the signs of health and illness. These vulnerable orphans taught me about bonding, showed me what their souls were interested in experiencing by being born as a cow or bull, and helped me surrender, what is out of my control, a little more.

I used my energy tools to give healing to each of the calves and their mamas. I became particularly attached to a calf I named Teardrop, whose mom died when he was four days old.  On his white face, he had a little black teardrop mark by his right eye (he’s pictured in this post).

It is a rare occurrence to have a bottle-fed-calf at our ranch. We aren’t set-up for it long-term. So Dad ran an ad on craigslist to find someone interested in bottle calves, typically it’s a 4H kid. I prayed that whoever would come for the bottle calves would give them a good home.

The next day a couple came out to take a look at Teardrop and decided to take his buddy too. They have a big cattle ranch in Montana (not a feed lot) with mother cows who had lost calves. They planned to match these calves up with new mamas, using the method my grandpa used long ago to get the mother cows to accept a calf that isn’t their own.

While I know, their ultimate fate hasn’t improved, this is the best possible scenario for the days they get to enjoy being a soul in a calf’s body. As I explore my soul agreements with animals and that responsibility, I am learning from my ranch experiences that even if my encounter is brief, I have an opportunity to honor each unique soul and offer love.

The Shadow Side of Soul Agreements

Natalie —  December 13, 2016 — 1 Comment

Soul agreements are equally dark and light. The karma created between an abusive person and their victim. Two warriors fighting in a battle. A parent who did not want their child and the unwanted child. Lies, betrayal, control, neglect, inflicting pain on another, these happen every day and create karma in relationships.

Call it karmic debt or unresolved past experiences, the shadow side of soul agreements may have even more impact on your life than the light. Why? Because the wounds, incomplete business and unresolved experiences, leave a signature in your energy field that attract more of that energy until it is resolved or released from your soul records.

The shadow side of a soul agreement can be a simple as someone stealing your wallet. The thief creates an unresolved karmic debt, by taking what isn’t theirs. The injury to your sense of safety or power can mark your energy field in a way that calls-in other similar experiences. Like attracts like. Whether your energy is stolen or an object is stolen.

You may mentally and emotionally process the experience to heal, yet find that the unresolved trauma in your energy field continues to attract thieves or energy vampires. Both the karma with the thief and the soul memory need to be cleared, to reclaim your power.

In the realm of what your soul remembers but your mind does not, you carry layers of unresolved experiences. Here’s example of a shadow soul agreement that shows up as a daily challenge.

You work with a person who pretends to support your success but continuously undermines it behind your back. Through words that plant doubtful seeds with management, they poison your opportunities for advancement while smiling to your face and bringing you a birthday card. They have felt familiar to you from your first meeting and you experience conflicting sensations of love and hate toward them.

It maybe more than insecurity or competition that is at play. You have a soul agreement with this co-worker. What would you have “agreed” to in a prior life together that results in this behavior?

You may have agreed to show up to remind each other to own your power and this person is pushing you to own your power by challenging it. You may have had an unresolved conflict in a past life where you were competing for attention from parents or a lover, and they didn’t get the attention they needed, so they continue to compete with you. You may have undermined their power in a past life, so they are now retaliating to undermine your power.

You’ve participated in creating shadow soul agreements too. Whether intentional, unconscious, or accidental, these unresolved energies between souls outlast lifetimes, repeating the patterns in new experiences. You will recreate an experience in a different form until you learn the lesson it has for you.

Changing your habits, mental and emotional patterns are a big part creating new experiences. But releasing the energetic charge from the soul memory and updating your soul agreements set you free to complete the lesson.

Whether past life or present, shadow soul agreements are an opportunity to heal both the isolated incident and the layers of karma our soul carries with it in the present. You don’t have to keep repeating the lesson when you claim your power to release unresolved soul agreements.

When you fall in love a lot of what attracts you to your beloved are matching beliefs, wounds and behaviors. They feel familiar. Will you continue repeating generational and personal patterns, or choose to change them?

The terms of your soul agreement are established in the early stages of courting. Some may even be in place from past lives your souls shared. Over time these agreements evolve through changes in commitment, communication and behaviors.

Yet some aspects of your soul agreement are operating based on old beliefs, wounds or past life unresolved experiences that brought you together.

For example one partner comes to the relationship with a family belief that prosperity requires stress, effort and hard work to obtain and maintain. This survival level wound has him working long hours to provide a lifestyle that he doesn’t get to enjoy, while resentment builds for his wife who seems to get all the benefits and doesn’t seem to be working as hard.

His wife has a matching wound. It is a wound to her personal power. She believes she will be punished if she exerts her power to manifest prosperity. As a child she was repeatedly reprimanded by her mother for using her power to get what she wanted. So she has chosen a career that doesn’t allow her to express her power.

When she takes steps to heal that wound she decides to make a career change to feel more empowered. Her husband encourages her. Yet because he believes that it is hard to generate prosperity, he influences her to take a job that is hard for her. It doesn’t fit her nature and she continues to feel disempowered.

On the surface it looks like they are working together to support the change in their soul agreement around prosperity but unconsciously the old pattern is still playing out. Until their matching soul level wounds and beliefs are released, the pattern will keep rearing its head in different forms in their relationship. Keeping them stuck in the lack of true prosperity and creating tension.

As your relationship with your beloved grows, your beliefs and old wounds have an opportunity to shift. Your soul agreement needs to be updated along the way. You came together for a purpose. The connection needs a renewed purpose to thrive. When you ask to see, heal and shift outdated aspects of your soul agreement you create new purpose to thrive in love and partnership.


I offer couple’s soul agreement readings with both partners present. It takes an immense courage for two people to look directly at their relationship agreement. It is a very powerful soul freeing evolutionary step.

Being naked before another, merging bodies, vulnerable with desire, allows the soul to be seen in ways not available in other forms of relationship. A soul agreement with the beloved, the pleasure and intensity that it offers, is one of the strongest, if not THE most powerful desire of the body-soul experience.

Its power is in merging and vulnerability. It draws out all of your beauty as well as sneaks its way into your shadowy corners. It can be unfathomably supportive or painfully destructive.

Seeking or finding your soul mate, has a resonance of destiny. If you don’t feel seen or fully connected with your lover, you may not believe you are with your soul mate. Yet something unexplainable keeps you together. You can’t seem to break free even if this lover is not “the one.” You have yet to complete your soul agreement.

Does it feel like you “knew” each other before you met? Or are you just now finding each other for the first time this lifetime? What are you here to do together? Having a strong soul agreement can feel like you’ve found your soul mate, but have you?

Old soul agreements have many influences from one or more past life experiences. When you choose to come back together in the form of lovers /life partners, you have commitments to keep. It can be a simple as recreating the love you shared or as complex as paying a karmic debt. It always involves resolving incomplete past experiences together.

When you call in a new soul agreement for a lover /life partner, it can be an evolution of your soul. It can also be that you are ready for a different soul lesson and this lover is available to facilitate it.

Some connections end too soon, leaving a longing. The soul agreement not complete. Others last longer than you may think is needed. Once you’ve worked through your karma or kept your past life commitments to each other, the sense that there is something to do together may fade. A new agreement needs to be created for the relationship to thrive.

When a romantic partnership changes or ends, or if one or more partner is ready to change the form of the relationship, updating the soul agreement smooth’s the transition. Letting go is easier. Creating a new way is available.

A true soul mate is the beloved with whom you have a current soul agreement; one who is a kindred spirit, lover, friend and evolving with you as a soul.

Click Here to download a free guided Soul Agreement update audio file.

There are junctures in life, transitions that are a natural part of development or made by choice, that indicate a soul agreement change is an order. A parent-child relationship evolves to parent-adult, when the child grows up.  Commitments made in a marriage end at the death of one partner or with a divorce. As I covered in an earlier blog post, the soul agreement goes beyond the psychological shift and change of physical circumstance.

In cases where there isn’t a clear relationship transition, it’s not as obvious that an update is in order. In a marriage of 30 years the agreement isn’t the same as it was at 5 years of marriage, yet aspects can be stuck in the original agreement.  Here are a few clues to help you identify where you can benefit from changing your soul agreements.

When you repeatedly think about a past experience or have a mental conversation with a person who is not present.  This is a person or situation with which you need to update your agreement.  The conversation in your head kicks-in frequently when you relax and are not focused on a task.  And sometimes it even disrupts something else you were thinking about or doing.

If you feel frustrated, dis-empowered or “off” from the persistent distracting thoughts, you might find yourself pushing the person away in your mind saying, “Leave me alone!”  The disruption has purpose. It’s happening to let you know something is unresolved, that you need to release, shift or directly communicate in a relationship.

Another way you can know a relationship soul agreement needs to be updated is when you feel angry about expectations from a person that you don’t want to be required to fulfill. This anger helps you notice that you need to revise your boundary in the agreement. When an agreement is in need of update it often has low vibration emotions attached to it like guilt, shame, abandonment, judgment or control.

For example, you feel guilty for saying “no” to someone when they ask you to do something you’ve always done for them at work, like schedule a meeting for a group of people. Your job has changed and you are no longer in the position where that is part of the agreement. You need to set a new boundary and update your agreement to match the new role so others don’t continue to expect you to do things that were part of your old position.

In another case, you may have an agreement to listen to a friend when they have had a bad experience. They want to dump their pain or anger to feel better. And you’ve signed up through your choice to listen. You may have a sense of guilt for abandoning them in their suffering if you don’t listen. Yet every time you have a conversation where you get emotionally dumped on, you feel worse and your friend feels better. They may even thank you for being a good friend. The benefit of changing or ending an agreement like this is that it allows you to have your own experience, rather than getting thrown “off” or drained by their emotions and upset.

In summary, the primary signals that a relationship soul agreement is ready to be updated:

  • A relationship has clearly changed (end of job, romantic partnership)
  • A relationship has changed over time but the person is not honoring the change
  • A relationship drains your energy
  • You experience distracting or dis-empowering thoughts of the person
  • You feel negative emotions about something that used to be okay for you in a relationship

Free Will and Soul Agreements

Natalie —  March 11, 2015 — 2 Comments

You have choice, free will, the ability to alter your life’s direction. You also live in a world with many other sentient beings that have free will and their choices effect your choices, resulting in outcomes that may be different than you’d hoped or expected.

Life begins with the soul agreements in your family. You have things to teach each other, karma to complete and promises to keep. Family members, both biological and adoptive, are key in your foundational soul agreements and the lessons you are here to learn. I believe that even your family is your choice; you made the choice before being born.

Then there are soul agreements we make fresh in this life. They may last a lifetime or be a onetime interaction to change our direction or teach us something. We always have free will in responding to any soul agreement.

Some people call it destiny but I see it more like a collection of agreements we’ve made as a soul in previous lifetimes to show-up to keep these agreements. For example, I have a friend who I met working at a clothing boutique during college.  Little did we know at the time that we had a soul agreement to remind each other of our spiritual path?

She changed jobs and we lost touch. Then I saw her feeding burritos she’d made to the homeless and we reconnected. She moved. We lost touch again. Then again we reconnected by chance, or is it?  Keeping this soul agreement has been dance we have done over more than 20 years.

At times it’s been tough, we’ve pushed each other too hard, resisted the reminders, inadvertently hurt each other but as we’ve matured and become more conscious of our agreement the waters of our friendship have calmed. They aren’t as choppy as they were when we were unconsciously trying to keep the agreement by shaking the other up. Now we are more direct, less easily offended, trust each other’s reflections and openly discuss our soul agreement.

We could have chosen to walk away permanently from this soul agreement at many junctures. There were years we didn’t speak but something deeper kept bringing us back to each other. Our soul agreement.

If we had exercised our free will and walked away without completing our agreement or without each separately doing our soul work to release the charge on that unfinished agreement, the energy would have continued to pull us back together in this lifetime or another lifetime to keep our agreement.

Just as you have free will so do those who you encounter in your life.  When things seemingly go awry with your soul agreements it may be that choices are made from miscommunication, fear of change or concern for the impact on others the person is in agreement with. People you interact with may choose not to say “yes” to your soul agreement. Life moves you in a different direction. That doesn’t mean you have to allow it to haunt you.

In a soul agreement that you are ready to end, you can clear the energy without the participation from the other. I’ll cover the “how-to” in future blog posts.  You can also choose to walk away without ending the agreement too. And allow the agreement to be fulfilled some way in the future.

We are born into a soul agreement with our parents and other family members, we make friends, go to school, have relationships, manage our finances, we may marry, have children, work, move homes and be part of various social circles over time.  All of these experiences involve temporary or lasting soul agreements that are created with individuals or groups of people, places, inanimate objects and organizations.

As each of these agreements is created, it is created based on the needs and intentions of all parties at the time the agreement is initiated. Most relationship agreements are created with more unspoken and unconscious assumptions than openly acknowledged ones. Such as, “because we are married you will comfort me if I feel sad.” That may not be part of the agreement for both parties. Over time we experience changes in agreements such as moving to a new residence, the end of a relationship, a change of jobs or graduation from school.

Yet certain endings lingeringly haunt our thoughts. We know the relationship, job or phase of life is over but we don’t feel complete, the past is distracting and interfering with feeling at peace in the present.  This isn’t a rational experience of the mind, it doesn’t line up with the external information we know to be true. It is the soul agreement that is still operating based on a past commitment.

We may also find that we are living in an agreement we no longer want to be in as it stands. Such as, relating with a parent that still treats us like a child, a partnership that has become emotionally abusive or a job that drains our energy the moment we walk into the door.  We feel stuck and unable to change the experience, even though we’ve tried.

There is something deeper than our external circumstance that seems to be holding us in an agreement that is no longer serving us. It is the spiritual aspect of the agreement.  A soul agreement transcends our physical obligations and our mental figuring. It is our soul’s contract to show-up in a specific way. We have the power to change our soul’s agreements and open to new more aligned experiences.

For the next few months I will be writing on this topic to help you understanding how the unspoken aspects for your agreements affect your energy, inner-peace and ability to create new agreements for yourself. I will give you tools to change, end or update your soul agreements.

We’ll look at the following types of agreements:

  • Family (parent, sibling, child)
  • Love partnerships
  • Friendships
  • Home (Community, Living Space)
  • Groups/Organizations: Work, School, Social Circles
  • Money
  • Activities (Sports, Arts)
  • Animals (Pets and Spirit Totems)
  • Spiritual Entities (angels, guides, genetically inherited and those taken on from others)

To build a foundation for shifting our agreements, I will cover the difference between agreements with others and the agreements with our Self. In our soul agreements with others, I will touch on how one party to the agreement may hold the power position in the creation of the “terms of the agreement” and the impact of that imbalance of energy. I will also cover how to intentionally create new soul agreements.

Please comment and ask questions here and on Facebook to let me know what you’d like me to focus on.

Sex, Love & Soul Contracts

Natalie —  February 15, 2012 — 3 Comments

Soul contracts or relationship agreements have a heavy influence on our experience of attraction and attachment. When we have a relationship agreement or soul contract with someone we find ourselves drawn to them and may not understand why. We just know that something strong is pulling us to connect.

Attraction is a combination of the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. The enduring connections combine all aspects aligned for both parties. When one party experiences a significantly stronger attraction than the other and the relationship doesn’t take root or roots itself in shallow soil.

Sexual connections with someone we have a soul contract with can be expansive, crack us open and leave us wanting more. The momentary energetic oneness stirs up all that our souls have known together. It can be both ecstatic and excruciating. Beyond the primal physical and psychological aspects of our mating game, what is it that hooks us in? Why might one person think its love and the other not?

When we have a soul contract with someone, a promise we’ve made in this life or a past lifetime, both parties don’t always see the agreement the same context. It may be there is a debt owed from incomplete karma. Or our promise was to show-up to remind the other person of something they asked us to remind them of, even if it doesn’t feel so loving when we deliver the message.

Our messenger may arrive when we aren’t in a good place to receive the message or they may not relay the message in a form we comprehend. We may react, stir the pot with awareness that isn’t fully informed, and create more karma with each other rather than healing or competing past unresolved energies.

We may feel like we’ve known the person forever although we just met. We might feel an irrational sense of attraction when we have nothing in common; or an unexplainable sense of attachment after a short encounter. These are not just psychological or physical responses. There is a layer of spiritual activity a play.

When both parties are present to the possibility of the soul contract, healing and growth is heightened. A powerful aspect of self-responsibility comes when we own our ability to update our relationship agreements rather than be at the whim of whatever comes.

If you have a soul contract you are ready to update to present time you can do this by going into your mediation space and visualizing the relationship agreement with the particular person, the contract:

  • See the details or general aspects of the agreement and choose what parts you would like to keep which parts you are ready to release.
  • Imagine the parts that are outdated being crossed off the contract.
  • Send the request through your intention to the soul of the other person.
  • Sign the new contract with your mark, to make it real.
  • Put it in an imaginary bubble and ask the Supreme Being to bless it.
  • Ask your Akashic record keeper to record a copy of the new agreement and to give a copy to the other person’s record keeper.

If the relationship is very deep and influential you may need outside help from a professional clairvoyant healer to see clearly the aspects of the relationship that need to be adjusted. Romantic relationships, love and sex are powerful influencers in the human experience. Honor that power with your positive intentions and give yourself grace for the healing process.