Archives For needs
Recently I found myself resisting asking the universe for what I wanted. As if outside of my life looking in, I knew that taking time to get clear on what I really wanted would benefit me. It would help me be more present and stay aligned with my truth. While self-reflecting on my resistance, I realized my inner-judgment toward asking for what I want.
Why was I hesitating? My analytical mind argued, “What if what I think I want isn’t in my highest good?” Or it took the position that I shouldn’t be as specific in my request, leaving it more open to the divine plan. But by avoiding getting clear I was undermining my power to manifest and subsequently my inner-peace.
Another aspect of my resistance was fear that God would see me as greedy for wanting more than what was needed for survival. I also worried that my desires would somehow unconsciously impact others in a negative or manipulative way. Overshadowing all of these judgmental thoughts was my fear of being disappointed. It felt risky to get my hopes up by asking for what I wanted.
Part of me could see the fallacy in all of these beliefs. But they felt real due to my social and religious programming. They were unconsciously blocking me.
Once I recognized them as false beliefs, I spent time in meditation looking at myself to identify, heal and release them. I noticed that I felt the tension of these beliefs in my body just below the belly button in my second chakra, the creation energy zone. Taking action to free myself of these blocks to creation, I visualized a bubble outside of my body, like a salve, drawing out the energies of judgment, control, fear, disappointment and unworthiness. When the bubble was full of these outdated beliefs, I imagined it floating to a faraway mountain top and popping. The energy was released to be recycled in the universe. Practicing meditations that clean-out false beliefs help us create space and remove resistance.
Here are a few of the benefits of setting intentions by visualizing what we would like to create in our life:
- Focusing on areas in our life (relationship, career, home, money, health) long enough to get clear on what it is we are seeking to experience, aligns our energy with this vision, increasing our odds of attracting it!
- Knowing what we want and need allows us to see more clearly when we are making choices, or feeling obligated to do things that aren’t in alignment with our values.
- Being open to the form that our desires are fulfilled keeps us in gratitude.
- The present moment is the only one where we have power to influence our larger life experience.
Manifestation is all about the feelings we want to experience in our life. When we get clear on what we want to feel in a relationship, in our home or at work, the form those experiences take or “how” things manifest isn’t as important. Removing resistance, those beliefs that we allow to block us from having what we want, gives us more clarity. Life flows, it takes less effort, when we are clear and in alignment with our needs and wants.
The start of a New Year is an opportunity to reflect on what has been and set intentions for what will be. We live in the present moment, but dreams and desires for the future create focus for our lives. Without focus we are usually disappointed with the results of our efforts. If our wish is to experience a greater sense of love and fulfillment, a focus on authentic connection with others will help us create it. Last year around this time, I recognized a desire to communicate in relationships where I had been avoiding a topic because it felt uncomfortable to address. My aim was to notice when I felt resistance to share my feelings, take a look at the discomfort and find a path, however imperfect it may be, to express what I was feeling.
There were a few nagging situations where I was afraid to reveal myself, to show my vulnerability or risk a loved one’s disapproval, in order to express my experience and needs. I knew that withholding this expression was blocking energy flow not just in the relationships but in my life overall. These unspoken feelings subtly prevented me from being at ease with the person. My old way of operating was to think through what I would say in advance. The problem with this approach was that it was based on the past. It didn’t leave room for me to be present for what I was feeling in the moment and it got in the way of true listening. It also built up a big backlog of energy that, however softly delivered, had the potential to make the communication much more intense than it needed to be.
As an empathic person since birth, I had a pattern of reading people’s receptivity, feeling it in my body, and pre-determining whether it was safe to share information. It was a child’s survival mechanism that worked well before I had energy tools that created healthier boundaries. I didn’t want to disturb the peace and therefore withheld my feelings if it seemed that the person would be upset. Over a period of many months this year, opportunities presented themselves to practice a new way of communication. I had to give up believing that I could determine the right thing to say beforehand. I had to let go of the outcome. I had to own my vulnerability and risk being rejected. I had to accept that what I shared may not make the person feel good. But most of all I had to re-train my inner child who was feeling for the other and denying my own feelings. I had to give these intimate relationships a chance to meet the fully revealed me, rather than protect them from it. It wasn’t easy but it was worth the effort. In every case it renewed our relationships, set them on more solid ground.
My 2010 intention was born from desire to authentically relate with others. I have found that true connection, seeing another and being seen, is the most fulfilling aspect in life. We all yearn for this connection and unconsciously choose our actions based on our beliefs of how we can experience it. We can deepen our intimacy with the one’s we love through letting go of the assumptions that we are doing someone a favor by protecting them from the truth of our experience. When our aim is to generate love we can’t fail.
Addictions form in response to the sensation of fulfillment or relief we experience when we consume a substance or take an action that allows us to escape less desirable feelings. We can become addicted to regular things that in-and-of-themselves are not bad for us, such as thoughts, foods, beverages, shopping, reading, sex, sports or people. When we engage in anything to avoid our depression, anger, fear or unhappiness, it locks in the negative energy preventing growth and flow. We develop a compulsive physiological need for the relief it provides while it lets us stay stuck.
Intuitively sensitive people are more highly drawn to the escape of addiction simply because we feel so much of the energy around us. Unlike tying our shoes or brushing our teeth, most of us weren’t taught how to manage our energetic boundaries. In fact it is rare if one’s awareness of energy is acknowledged and validated by society. Without skills to create a sense of safety amidst the ocean of energy we feel, we are left to figure it out on our own. As children we were aware of the energy around us at home, in school and everywhere we went. The barrage of information was at times overwhelming, and may even have caused us to manifest physical symptoms. At times our empathy and the desire to help others had us subconsciously take on their pain to help them heal.
The intensity of this sensitivity often materializes with coping mechanisms such as suppression, denial or addictions that allow us to go “out of body” and avoid the response altogether. As adults we have the opportunity to reclaim our personal power by validating the intuitive sensitivity we previously denied. Through acknowledgment of our heightened inner barometer for the energy in our environment, we can learn to set our space and generate a healthy experience of that awareness. We don’t have to shut down our intuitive guidance when we generate new boundaries. Through regular visualization of our aura bubble at its appropriate size (three feet in every direction around the body), we limit the intrusion into our space of vacillating energy. It helps to paint our aura a fresh color in our minds-eye (avoid white as it attracts spiritual entities). A clear vision of our space allows us to reduce the ups-and-downs that are externally generated. When we are only experiencing our own feelings rather than those of the people around us we feel more stable and we are less driven to the relief addiction temporarily provides.