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Make Room For What You Want

Natalie —  February 26, 2015 — 3 Comments

Life is full. We make choices each day to prioritize our time and energy.  Our choices are affected by our energetic state when we make the choice. If we are distracted, depleted or in a hurry we tend to make choices that further the sense of exhaustion or create an inner-dialog of self-judgment.

We don’t often consider how much we are being influenced by the world around us. We have bits and pieces of other people’s needs influencing the amount of energy we have for our life. Past encounters such as the person we accidentally cut off in traffic who blared their horn at us, and future expectations such as the pile of clothes to put away or the call to return, subtly drain our energy.

It’s challenging to make room for what we want in our life. We increase our odds by regularly cleaning out our energy field to insure we are choosing from a powerful place. Then our choices lead to creating what we want rather than self-criticism.

To clean and reclaim your energy field, follow this simple visualization.  Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and see yourself as grounded (connected with a link of energy from the tip of your tailbone to the center of the Earth).

Now imagine a rose in front of you. Its job is to clean out the energies in your aura that are not serving you or clouding your choices, small and large.  Intend that the bits of attention still on you from any people you’ve interacted with or had thoughts about are drawn-out of your body and into the rose.  This may take a few minutes.

Watch as the energy leaves, specifically from anyone with whom you feel there is something unresolved.  Also ask that the energy be cleared out information you’ve seen on the news.

Once you feel the energy from others and what is happening in the world has been cleaned out, see the negative thoughts and emotions you have put upon yourself be drawn out of your aura and into the rose. These can be emotions such as self-judgment, disappointment, frustration or shame.

When you feel complete, imagine the blossom of the rose is surrounded by a bubble that lifts it up high in the sky so it floats off to a very faraway place. Then see the rose evaporate and the energy recycle in a neutral fashion.

Before you are done, take a moment to fill your aura in with your own energy and a vibration you would like more of in your life.  Imagine a big magnetic funnel above your head drawing your energy to it from any person or place you’ve had attention on. Add to that funnel a hefty dose of the energy you would like more of such as, creativity, peace, clarity, inspiration, courage or happiness.  Then see the funnel fill your body up through the top of your head, overflowing once full to coat your entire aura with this positive energy.

In times of intensity, self-care always seems to fall to the bottom of the list. A simple morning routine of journaling, walking and centering meditation gets overtaken with sleep to make up for the prior days late night. A series of long overly-full days in which everything that was expected of me didn’t get done.  The day starts off without inner-alignment and quickly progresses to the state of too much to do and too little time.

Without filling my physical and spiritual cup I have little to offer in the face of other’s needs.  As I neglect my own needs, saying yes when I should say no, expecting myself to do more than can be done in the time available, I begin to have negative thoughts, resentments of the things that normally bring me fulfillment.

In a moment of self-reflection, I decided to reclaim my commitment to self-care with my own version of Timothy Leary’s famous advice, “Turn on, tune in and drop out.”

  • Turn On my psychic tools to navigate the demanding energies.
  • Tune In to my intuitive guidance.
  • Drop Out by consciously detaching from expectations and demands that don’t serve me.

Even if I don’t have time for the morning routine that sets my energy for the day, I turn on my tools in the midst of my day to create healthy energetic boundaries with demands and put life’s various choices in a healthier balance. Prioritizing my own health and inner-peace, and making time for me.  This means that I notice when other people’s energy is in my space creating expectations that aren’t balanced and consciously see myself move their energy out of my vibrational field.  I also use my tools to mock-up or imagine support and the sense of ease in an experience.  Energetically I “own” my space, acknowledging that others also get to own their space too but not mine.

With my space cleared of energy that’s not mine, I tune in to my truth. Pay attention to what I believe and want. I direct my actions, thoughts and emotions toward creating the experience I want, rather than going along with the fears or designs of others.  Tuning in can help me see whether those I’m interacting with are being honest with me and themselves.  It gives me direction when I’m facing alternatives.  Allowing me to make choices that take me down a path that is aligned with my highest good.

Having used my energy tools to create space and hear my intuitive guidance, I become more neutral to the demands of others, thus I drop out of the prevailing fear that drives the collective of humanity to stress and over-extend, compromising health and inner-peace to survive.  I choose a different truth and find that when I do what I have committed to, in a balanced way, I enjoy it and even succeed in all of the aspects of living.

In every moment, while on a phone call, walking to my car from the store, pumping gas, sitting on a flight or making dinner I can access support simply by intending it.  In the blink of an eye my entire experience shifts when I turn on my psychic tools and see that there is energy in my space which is not mine. Demands, expectations, needs, and deadlines that I feel pressured by.   Some I may have to comply with, some I don’t. When I notice my choice, I give myself some space. I re-gather my energy, tune in to my inner-guidance and have greater access to knowing what I want and need.  It helps to visualize it, see the demand energy move out of my body into a bubble and float to a faraway place.

The final step of drop out is a point of empowerment through neutrality. Letting go of the stress that comes with needing to control the future or comply with others belief systems when they differ from my own. By detaching from the beliefs that allow the demand to control me or harness my energy and direct it toward an agenda, I reclaim my power to create the life I want.

Recently I found myself resisting asking the universe for what I wanted.  As if outside of my life looking in, I knew that taking time to get clear on what I really wanted would benefit me. It would help me be more present and stay aligned with my truth. While self-reflecting on my resistance, I realized my inner-judgment toward asking for what I want.

Why was I hesitating?  My analytical mind argued, “What if what I think I want isn’t in my highest good?”  Or it took the position that I shouldn’t be as specific in my request, leaving it more open to the divine plan.  But by avoiding getting clear I was undermining my power to manifest and subsequently my inner-peace.

Another aspect of my resistance was fear that God would see me as greedy for wanting more than what was needed for survival.  I also worried that my desires would somehow unconsciously impact others in a negative or manipulative way.  Overshadowing all of these judgmental thoughts was my fear of being disappointed. It felt risky to get my hopes up by asking for what I wanted.

Part of me could see the fallacy in all of these beliefs.  But they felt real due to my social and religious programming. They were unconsciously blocking me.

Once I recognized them as false beliefs, I spent time in meditation looking at myself to identify, heal and release them.  I noticed that I felt the tension of these beliefs in my body just below the belly button in my second chakra, the creation energy zone.  Taking action to free myself of these blocks to creation, I visualized a bubble outside of my body, like a salve, drawing out the energies of judgment, control, fear, disappointment and unworthiness.  When the bubble was full of these outdated beliefs, I imagined it floating to a faraway mountain top and popping.  The energy was released to be recycled in the universe.  Practicing meditations that clean-out false beliefs help us create space and remove resistance.

Here are a few of the benefits of setting intentions by visualizing what we would like to create in our life:

  • Focusing on areas in our life (relationship, career, home, money, health) long enough to get clear on what it is we are seeking to experience, aligns our energy with this vision, increasing our odds of attracting it!
  • Knowing what we want and need allows us to see more clearly when we are making choices, or feeling obligated to do things that aren’t in alignment with our values.
  • Being open to the form that our desires are fulfilled keeps us in gratitude.
  • The present moment is the only one where we have power to influence our larger life experience.

Manifestation is all about the feelings we want to experience in our life. When we get clear on what we want to feel in a relationship, in our home or at work, the form those experiences take or “how” things manifest isn’t as important. Removing resistance, those beliefs that we allow to block us from having what we want, gives us more clarity. Life flows, it takes less effort, when we are clear and in alignment with our needs and wants.

Calling on Angels

Natalie —  May 17, 2012 — 2 Comments

Communication with spiritual support, angels and the Divine, is like breathing.  It’s available every day and in parallel with any other activity.  We breathe while we speak with a friend. We breathe while we do the laundry. We breathe while we take a shower.  We breathe while we drive.  There is not a time we’re not breathing.  Prayer can be like that, an ongoing conversation with our angels. It doesn’t need to wait for a special moment.

We forget.  We save up our conversations with God for important occasions where we’re feeling pressed, stressed, in a pinch and we don’t see another way through what we are facing without difficulty.  Or we feel guilty asking for help from the spiritual realm when we are facing difficulties.  Always coming with our hand out, we hesitate to ask.  We especially forget to talk to our angels and guides when things are good, and express our gratitude.

To cultivate an intimate relationship with Spirit, we have to trust that our angelic support is available at all times.  Spiritual helpers are not sitting in judgment of our failure to ask earlier, nor are they upset that we are just remembering they exist.  They want to hear from us no matter what the topic. They want to help with the little and the big challenges.  They want to celebrate the good things with us too.

The purpose of requests for spiritual assistance is not to get out of our responsibilities or avoid the consequences of our choices. It’s to help us be present for them with strength and a lighter heart. It is to instill us with faith, that whatever the outcome, it is all going to be okay.  We’ll make it through the conflict, pain or uncertainty.

Communication with our spiritual support, angels and higher power, is very similar to listening to our intuition.  It is initiated through our thoughts in connection with our heart’s intent.  It’s a conversation with the invisible but all-present source of assistance.

We typically listen for intuitive insight, yet we have a habit of asking/talking more than listening in communication with God.  Listening is important.  Answers to prayer show up in mysterious ways.  If we don’t quiet our mind long enough to listen, we may miss the answer, or at least a piece of the gift.

We breathe while we listen. We pause, walk the dog, take a yoga class, we still our mind to hear the voice of God.  It’s a sacred space between our soul and Spirit.  It is available to us at any moment.  When we feel alone this support is right there in our midst.

“You should know how I feel.”

The closer we are to a person the more we assume they will interpret and respond to our needs and desires without verbal communication.  It’s tempting to try to intuitively read other’s needs to reduce conflict in relationships but in doing so we enter hazardous territory.

Our first point of reference in any situation is how we would feel or experience it.  That is the root of why people expect others to know how they feel.  Those of us who are naturally intuitive first experienced reading others feelings and needs empathically (second chakra).  When we empathically read there’s a tendency to match the emotion which alters our clarity.

As we evolve our intuitive skills to a point of better boundaries, we move out of feeling a person and matching the energy, into a space of seeing (sixth chakra).  When seeing rather than feeling we are in a stronger position to provide support, if it is welcomed by the person in need.

Another hazard of reading someone’s needs and responding, rather than asking for direct communication, is identifying the source of truth we are seeing. Each human has four need centers:

  • body
  • mind (conscious or subconscious)
  • emotion/heart
  • soul/spirit

These aspects of Self are not always in agreement.  Our need centers perceive their yes/no with different priorities and filters.  The body may determine rest is the top priority while the mind and emotions override it with an agenda that they perceive is more important to complete before rest is allowed.  When we try to gauge this priority for someone else and respond to what we see, we come across as controlling rather than supporting what they know to be true for themselves.

In addition, when we read others without their permission, even if it is from a place of wanting to help, we are intruding on their psychic space.  That intrusion whether consciously noticed or not, creates discomfort for the person we are reading.  They feel outside energy in their space and find it harder to get clear on their own needs. They push back actively or passively to try to regain a sense of stability for themselves.

People we care about may insinuate they want us to read their minds or know what they need without us asking them, but when we do there are many potential land mines to navigate. Our best course of action is to communicate more than necessary when we sense someone needs something from us before we act.  And stay focused on keeping a clear awareness of our own needs so we can communicate them to those who support us.

Re-New Year Focus

Natalie —  December 29, 2010 — Leave a comment

From Blog Free Hugs: The Virus of Connection

The start of a New Year is an opportunity to reflect on what has been and set intentions for what will be.  We live in the present moment, but dreams and desires for the future create focus for our lives.  Without focus we are usually disappointed with the results of our efforts.  If our wish is to experience a greater sense of love and fulfillment, a focus on authentic connection with others will help us create it.  Last year around this time, I recognized a desire to communicate in relationships where I had been avoiding a topic because it felt uncomfortable to address.  My aim was to notice when I felt resistance to share my feelings, take a look at the discomfort and find a path, however imperfect it may be, to express what I was feeling. 

There were a few nagging situations where I was afraid to reveal myself, to show my vulnerability or risk a loved one’s disapproval, in order to express my experience and needs.  I knew that withholding this expression was blocking energy flow not just in the relationships but in my life overall.  These unspoken feelings subtly prevented me from being at ease with the person.  My old way of operating was to think through what I would say in advance.  The problem with this approach was that it was based on the past.  It didn’t leave room for me to be present for what I was feeling in the moment and it got in the way of true listening.  It also built up a big backlog of energy that, however softly delivered, had the potential to make the communication much more intense than it needed to be. 

As an empathic person since birth, I had a pattern of reading people’s receptivity, feeling it in my body, and pre-determining whether it was safe to share information.  It was a child’s survival mechanism that worked well before I had energy tools that created healthier boundaries.  I didn’t want to disturb the peace and therefore withheld my feelings if it seemed that the person would be upset.  Over a period of many months this year, opportunities presented themselves to practice a new way of communication.  I had to give up believing that I could determine the right thing to say beforehand.  I had to let go of the outcome.  I had to own my vulnerability and risk being rejected.  I had to accept that what I shared may not make the person feel good.  But most of all I had to re-train my inner child who was feeling for the other and denying my own feelings.  I had to give these intimate relationships a chance to meet the fully revealed me, rather than protect them from it.  It wasn’t easy but it was worth the effort. In every case it renewed our relationships, set them on more solid ground. 

My 2010 intention was born from desire to authentically relate with others.  I have found that true connection, seeing another and being seen, is the most fulfilling aspect in life.  We all yearn for this connection and unconsciously choose our actions based on our beliefs of how we can experience it.  We can deepen our intimacy with the one’s we love through letting go of the assumptions that we are doing someone a favor by protecting them from the truth of our experience. When our aim is to generate love we can’t fail.

Addictions form in response to the sensation of fulfillment or relief we experience when we consume a substance or take an action that allows us to escape less desirable feelings.  We can become addicted to regular things that in-and-of-themselves are not bad for us, such as thoughts, foods, beverages, shopping, reading, sex, sports or people.  When we engage in anything to avoid our depression, anger, fear or unhappiness, it locks in the negative energy preventing growth and flow.  We develop a compulsive physiological need for the relief it provides while it lets us stay stuck.

Intuitively sensitive people are more highly drawn to the escape of addiction simply because we feel so much of the energy around us.  Unlike tying our shoes or brushing our teeth, most of us weren’t taught how to manage our energetic boundaries. In fact it is rare if one’s awareness of energy is acknowledged and validated by society.  Without skills to create a sense of safety amidst the ocean of energy we feel, we are left to figure it out on our own.  As children we were aware of the energy around us at home, in school and everywhere we went.  The barrage of information was at times overwhelming, and may even have caused us to manifest physical symptoms.  At times our empathy and the desire to help others had us subconsciously take on their pain to help them heal. 

The intensity of this sensitivity often materializes with coping mechanisms such as suppression, denial or addictions that allow us to go “out of body” and avoid the response altogether.  As adults we have the opportunity to reclaim our personal power by validating the intuitive sensitivity we previously denied.  Through acknowledgment of our heightened inner barometer for the energy in our environment, we can learn to set our space and generate a healthy experience of that awareness.  We don’t have to shut down our intuitive guidance when we generate new boundaries.  Through regular visualization of our aura bubble at its appropriate size (three feet in every direction around the body), we limit the intrusion into our space of vacillating energy.  It helps to paint our aura a fresh color in our minds-eye (avoid white as it attracts spiritual entities).  A clear vision of our space allows us to reduce the ups-and-downs that are externally generated.  When we are only experiencing our own feelings rather than those of the people around us we feel more stable and we are less driven to the relief addiction temporarily provides.

Are You Being Bullied?

Natalie —  August 18, 2010 — Leave a comment

We assume that bullying stops when we grow up and leave the playground of our childhood but it just changes form.  Children grow into adults that learn ways to get what they want through other means.  On the healthy side of development we take care of our own needs or ask others when we need something from them.   Overt bullying is not tolerated among adults.  Yet if a person doesn’t learn how to communicate their needs in a healthy way, they often continue to push their agenda on others in more manipulative ways.  Sometimes this looks like a co-worker, friend or spouse who gives you options regarding a decision. When you choose an option that is not the one they want you to choose, suddenly it is no longer an option.  You have no real choice.  Control energy can be very subtle, such as someone telling you what you are going to do, rather than asking you what you are going to do.  Or hijacking your time through pressuring you to do something they want you to do.

In the process of Self development, trying to control a situation is one way we test our boundaries with others and determine what is required to make things happen that we want to see happen in life.  Children need good examples from adults who respect each other’s time, needs and energetic space.  Adults who take care of the child’s needs and teach them healthy ways of getting their needs met.  Behind all bulling behavior is a person’s fear that their needs will not be met. 

When a person is bullying, you may sense their energy in your third chakra (solar plexus) personal power space.  The control energy is trying to tap into your power center and redirect it for their use.  It creates a sense of being pulled off balance.  One part of us considers going along with their agenda to gain approval, even when we know the path is not right for us.  Another aspect of us gets angry at having our needs and boundaries disregarded.  This can activate resistance or conflict in the relationship.  We don’t always have the desire or option to end the relationship with a person who bullies us, such as a family member or co-worker.  In these situations we can use our energy awareness and practice self-care. 

Here are two tools for preventing the bully energy sent your way from sticking to you:

1)       Body of Glass – Imagine your body as invisible like Wonder Woman’s airplane.  The control energy sent toward your body goes right through and has nothing to attach itself to.

2)      Protection Rose – Visualize a rose that has a blossom as large as a stop sign and a thick stem that goes all the way to the center of the earth.  Intend that this protection rose stands between you and filter out any control energy.

These tools will help you hold your center and feel unscathed by outside attempts to redirect your energy.  With a clear mind and neutrality you can choose the path that is right for you.