Archives For love

It was the hardest winter in the sixty-plus year history of our family ranch. Record rains, snow and freezing weather many times from December through early March. The extremely abnormal weather put a big stress on the pregnant mama cow’s right at the time they were ready to give birth.

We had several cows with newborns that needed a stay at “Hotel Corral” where they had shelter, extra hay and room service (high protein grass pellets) delivered in the morning by yours truly. We had four calves who lost their mothers from complications pre-or-post birth and a young first-calf heifer who we had to help give birth, pulling the calf as she pushed. Its head was too big and both could have died. Thankfully they are doing great now.

I helped bottle feed the calves, massage them, encourage them to walk and love them. Being in close relationship, I began to recognize the unique soul signature of each calf, cow or bull just like I see my dog and humans.

It was emotionally hard to witness them suffer, while doing all we could to help. It brought up a lot of questions for me. I’ve always felt good about the way our family raises cattle organically, the old-fashioned way. Lots of room to roam, graze and in winter hay cut from our own non-chemically treated fields.

Now I was asking myself uncomfortable questions. What is my relationship with eating meat? How did humans become so detached from the source of their food? And what is my soul agreement with each of the calves who I know are being raised to be someone’s dinner in a couple of years?

Hard realities for a cattle rancher’s daughter to look at after being away from it for 25 years. I bonded and had a soulful relationship with each of these calves. My soul agreement was to love them and care for them while learning the signs of health and illness. These vulnerable orphans taught me about bonding, showed me what their souls were interested in experiencing by being born as a cow or bull, and helped me surrender, what is out of my control, a little more.

I used my energy tools to give healing to each of the calves and their mamas. I became particularly attached to a calf I named Teardrop, whose mom died when he was four days old.  On his white face, he had a little black teardrop mark by his right eye (he’s pictured in this post).

It is a rare occurrence to have a bottle-fed-calf at our ranch. We aren’t set-up for it long-term. So Dad ran an ad on craigslist to find someone interested in bottle calves, typically it’s a 4H kid. I prayed that whoever would come for the bottle calves would give them a good home.

The next day a couple came out to take a look at Teardrop and decided to take his buddy too. They have a big cattle ranch in Montana (not a feed lot) with mother cows who had lost calves. They planned to match these calves up with new mamas, using the method my grandpa used long ago to get the mother cows to accept a calf that isn’t their own.

While I know, their ultimate fate hasn’t improved, this is the best possible scenario for the days they get to enjoy being a soul in a calf’s body. As I explore my soul agreements with animals and that responsibility, I am learning from my ranch experiences that even if my encounter is brief, I have an opportunity to honor each unique soul and offer love.

I like to say, the reason it’s important to include, “until death do we part,” in marital vows, is that you want the soul contract of marriage to end at the physical bodies death.  As much as you love each other, you may or may not choose to come back together in another lifetime.

Relationship soul agreements are commitments you make to another person that last beyond your body’s lifespan. Love, romance, sensual steamy desire for another and elation when you are with the beloved is one of the primary drivers in our soul experience.

Connection with the beloved, when at its climax, feels like your soul’s reason for being. We all want to feel in love, to be in love, to feel loved, to feel seen, to be cherished by our beloved, and desired. To feel alive in the presence of the other.

Then why is love so hard? Why do long-term relationships seem to be more about working stuff out, tolerance, and compromise, then being turned on? And why are short-term relationships often so fraught with misunderstanding?

I believe it is because, through the power of love, you are fulfilling your soul agreements.

Beyond the hormones, mental and emotional attraction to partnership, there is this deep river of your soul’s drive to resolve unresolved experiences, or complete incomplete agreements. Unresolved or incomplete experiences are created by both positive, ecstatic love connection, and not so positive, painful interactions.

You come back together in your relationship soul agreements to either recreate an amazing feeling you want to experience again, or to resolve the old karma of a painful or traumatic experience. Maybe both.

For example, you may feel strongly that you are meant to be with someone who doesn’t feel the same for you. You have an unresolved soul agreement with them. One they are choosing not to show up for in this lifetime. Or you may feel compelled to stay in an abusive relationship because of your past life together. Karma that keeps you feeling you have a debt to pay or aren’t free to leave.

Our souls create relationship agreements both consciously and unconsciously. Marriage is a conscious agreement. But what type of soul agreement is created through physical intimacy? While science has some interesting things to say about love, there is little acknowledgment given to the soul’s experience of sexual connection.

Both partners enter with their own beliefs and soul agreements to play out. Is the intimacy a new celebration of what’s possible or is it revisiting an old soul agreement? The impact of merging energy goes beyond the mind, emotions and body.

Seeking consciousness of your relationship soul agreements and directly communicating what they mean to you with your lover is the best way to create positive love connections. It is vulnerable but powerful. It helps you avoid going down a painfully familiar path and unconsciously recreating repeat experiences. Experiences that may create more of the pain they were trying to heal.

You have the power to update, change or end your relationship soul agreements. The more you release of the souls unresolved experiences with your beloved the more joy is possible in the present. You stop working out old karma and start enjoying the moment.

Here’s a free guided meditation I made to help you update your soul agreements: Download

When you fall in love a lot of what attracts you to your beloved are matching beliefs, wounds and behaviors. They feel familiar. Will you continue repeating generational and personal patterns, or choose to change them?

The terms of your soul agreement are established in the early stages of courting. Some may even be in place from past lives your souls shared. Over time these agreements evolve through changes in commitment, communication and behaviors.

Yet some aspects of your soul agreement are operating based on old beliefs, wounds or past life unresolved experiences that brought you together.

For example one partner comes to the relationship with a family belief that prosperity requires stress, effort and hard work to obtain and maintain. This survival level wound has him working long hours to provide a lifestyle that he doesn’t get to enjoy, while resentment builds for his wife who seems to get all the benefits and doesn’t seem to be working as hard.

His wife has a matching wound. It is a wound to her personal power. She believes she will be punished if she exerts her power to manifest prosperity. As a child she was repeatedly reprimanded by her mother for using her power to get what she wanted. So she has chosen a career that doesn’t allow her to express her power.

When she takes steps to heal that wound she decides to make a career change to feel more empowered. Her husband encourages her. Yet because he believes that it is hard to generate prosperity, he influences her to take a job that is hard for her. It doesn’t fit her nature and she continues to feel disempowered.

On the surface it looks like they are working together to support the change in their soul agreement around prosperity but unconsciously the old pattern is still playing out. Until their matching soul level wounds and beliefs are released, the pattern will keep rearing its head in different forms in their relationship. Keeping them stuck in the lack of true prosperity and creating tension.

As your relationship with your beloved grows, your beliefs and old wounds have an opportunity to shift. Your soul agreement needs to be updated along the way. You came together for a purpose. The connection needs a renewed purpose to thrive. When you ask to see, heal and shift outdated aspects of your soul agreement you create new purpose to thrive in love and partnership.


I offer couple’s soul agreement readings with both partners present. It takes an immense courage for two people to look directly at their relationship agreement. It is a very powerful soul freeing evolutionary step.

Being naked before another, merging bodies, vulnerable with desire, allows the soul to be seen in ways not available in other forms of relationship. A soul agreement with the beloved, the pleasure and intensity that it offers, is one of the strongest, if not THE most powerful desire of the body-soul experience.

Its power is in merging and vulnerability. It draws out all of your beauty as well as sneaks its way into your shadowy corners. It can be unfathomably supportive or painfully destructive.

Seeking or finding your soul mate, has a resonance of destiny. If you don’t feel seen or fully connected with your lover, you may not believe you are with your soul mate. Yet something unexplainable keeps you together. You can’t seem to break free even if this lover is not “the one.” You have yet to complete your soul agreement.

Does it feel like you “knew” each other before you met? Or are you just now finding each other for the first time this lifetime? What are you here to do together? Having a strong soul agreement can feel like you’ve found your soul mate, but have you?

Old soul agreements have many influences from one or more past life experiences. When you choose to come back together in the form of lovers /life partners, you have commitments to keep. It can be a simple as recreating the love you shared or as complex as paying a karmic debt. It always involves resolving incomplete past experiences together.

When you call in a new soul agreement for a lover /life partner, it can be an evolution of your soul. It can also be that you are ready for a different soul lesson and this lover is available to facilitate it.

Some connections end too soon, leaving a longing. The soul agreement not complete. Others last longer than you may think is needed. Once you’ve worked through your karma or kept your past life commitments to each other, the sense that there is something to do together may fade. A new agreement needs to be created for the relationship to thrive.

When a romantic partnership changes or ends, or if one or more partner is ready to change the form of the relationship, updating the soul agreement smooth’s the transition. Letting go is easier. Creating a new way is available.

A true soul mate is the beloved with whom you have a current soul agreement; one who is a kindred spirit, lover, friend and evolving with you as a soul.

Click Here to download a free guided Soul Agreement update audio file.

Animals as Healers

Natalie —  September 26, 2012 — 2 Comments

Bisbee the soul in a dogs body from 2002 to 2012

Reposting this in memory of my four-legged companion Bisbee who passed to the other side in August.  I watched his soul meet the angels waiting as he left his body.  It was a joyous moment for him but a huge loss for me.  I miss his presence.  For those of you who have had readings with me, you will miss his sensitivity to energy moving in the sessions and his awareness of when our session was nearing completion… the dog timer.

Animals are more than companions, they are teachers and healers.  Animals live in the present.  They don’t worry about the past or the future.  In their presence, our pets are tuned-in to the vibration of the moment and can give us clues about the energy of an experience if we pay attention to their signals.  They sense the vibration of those around them and respond accordingly.

When I’m in session with a client and a potent spiritual energy is being moved out of the space, my dog will become interested and put his body between the two of us.  He senses the presence of this other entity as it is detaching from the person who has been carrying it.  He’s showing up to offer healing assistance and protection.  On a simpler level, he’s checking out the other energy that just arrived in the space, as he would greet a person that came to the front door of the house.

Pet companions, especially cats and dogs, offer us insights into the energy of people in our lives.  Is the person comfortable with themselves or fearful of connecting with others? Do they have a spiritual entity in their space that they are allowing to operate their body?  Animals recognize it, and display uncharacteristic behavior such as avoidance of the person, overt dislike or blocking the person from approaching their owner. This is equally true for self-reflection, our animal companions change the way they respond to us when we are not being ourselves i.e. when we have some spiritual energy in our space that is altering our vibration.

Pets don’t have a ‘socially acceptable’ filter that prevents them from showing their authentic response to a person or another animal.  They are tuned-in to energy and respond without hesitance by cowering, attack, cuddling or ignoring.  They can draw our attention to something or someone being off.

As humans we’ve learned the healthy respect of others boundaries and consider behavioral appropriateness before we snuggle up to someone or tell them off.  We are programmed to respond in a ways that deny acknowledgment of our true intuitive response to a person and the vibrations they are carrying.  We use past experiences as a point of reference and overide what we feel in the present.

By observing our pets we can learn to be more present, intuitively tuning in to the energy as we engage in relationships.  Our animals offer comfort and healing when they sense we are upset, angry, sad or in pain. They sleep beside us when we are physically sick or emotionally distraught. They play with us when we are joyful and invite us to play with them when we are too caught up in mundane tasks to smile.  They always offer unconditional love. And they teach us to listen to our intuition by being tuned into the vibrations of all beings they encounter.

Sex, Love & Soul Contracts

Natalie —  February 15, 2012 — 5 Comments

Soul contracts or relationship agreements have a heavy influence on our experience of attraction and attachment. When we have a relationship agreement or soul contract with someone we find ourselves drawn to them and may not understand why. We just know that something strong is pulling us to connect.

Attraction is a combination of the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. The enduring connections combine all aspects aligned for both parties. When one party experiences a significantly stronger attraction than the other and the relationship doesn’t take root or roots itself in shallow soil.

Sexual connections with someone we have a soul contract with can be expansive, crack us open and leave us wanting more. The momentary energetic oneness stirs up all that our souls have known together. It can be both ecstatic and excruciating. Beyond the primal physical and psychological aspects of our mating game, what is it that hooks us in? Why might one person think its love and the other not?

When we have a soul contract with someone, a promise we’ve made in this life or a past lifetime, both parties don’t always see the agreement the same context. It may be there is a debt owed from incomplete karma. Or our promise was to show-up to remind the other person of something they asked us to remind them of, even if it doesn’t feel so loving when we deliver the message.

Our messenger may arrive when we aren’t in a good place to receive the message or they may not relay the message in a form we comprehend. We may react, stir the pot with awareness that isn’t fully informed, and create more karma with each other rather than healing or competing past unresolved energies.

We may feel like we’ve known the person forever although we just met. We might feel an irrational sense of attraction when we have nothing in common; or an unexplainable sense of attachment after a short encounter. These are not just psychological or physical responses. There is a layer of spiritual activity a play.

When both parties are present to the possibility of the soul contract, healing and growth is heightened. A powerful aspect of self-responsibility comes when we own our ability to update our relationship agreements rather than be at the whim of whatever comes.

If you have a soul contract you are ready to update to present time you can do this by going into your mediation space and visualizing the relationship agreement with the particular person, the contract:

  • See the details or general aspects of the agreement and choose what parts you would like to keep which parts you are ready to release.
  • Imagine the parts that are outdated being crossed off the contract.
  • Send the request through your intention to the soul of the other person.
  • Sign the new contract with your mark, to make it real.
  • Put it in an imaginary bubble and ask the Supreme Being to bless it.
  • Ask your Akashic record keeper to record a copy of the new agreement and to give a copy to the other person’s record keeper.

If the relationship is very deep and influential you may need outside help from a professional clairvoyant healer to see clearly the aspects of the relationship that need to be adjusted. Romantic relationships, love and sex are powerful influencers in the human experience. Honor that power with your positive intentions and give yourself grace for the healing process.

Relationship Karma

Natalie —  August 24, 2011 — 4 Comments

Have you ever wondered why some relationships end with a sense of being unsettled even when it is clear that the reasons for being together, the attraction or the love have faded away?  We all have soul level contracts with many people.  They consist of agreements made through conscious commitments to each other and unresolved experiences we have shared that build a backlog of karma. 

Relationships that include experiences of pain or commitments unfulfilled leave us with a sense of incompletion.  You know it’s over but it’s not really over, it’s just over for this lifetime.  It’s the same for relationships that start but stop before the past karma has been resolved. 

On a spirit level, karma is our energetic bank account, a reserve of resources we’ve built up from experiences as a soul.  This energy carries forward into our new encounters.  Karma is also a backlog of unresolved energy we have the opportunity to heal or release.  As we wander this lifetime we are presented with opportunities every day to create more karma through our interactions.

When we have karma with someone, it means we have a history as soul’s together, experiences both positive and negative.  We may have been married in the past, friends or opponents in war.  We may have betrayed another soul, saved their life or had incomplete access to information about our experiences together, which left us unresolved as we exited that lifetime.

 We are attracted to relationships where we have karma we need to complete.  There’s something for us to do together and we feel it in a magnetic way.  There’s a commitment to keep, a debt to fulfill, amends to make or we simply had such a great time with this soul in a previous life that we want to celebrate the reunion and have some more fun.

If we are in a relationship that releases that unresolved backlog through new experiences together, eventually we’ll get to a point where we feel there’s not as much drawing us to the person.  We feel less attracted. The zing of excitement that the unresolved karma generated may leave the relationship feeling lackluster, in a slump, even boring. Often when the intense karma is complete in an intimate relationship one or both people feel it’s lost something and they want to end the agreement.  

When we find ourselves at this juncture in a relationship, we need to create a new purpose for being together, such as agreeing to build joyful experiences together.  With two willing and committed souls, making it past this threshold of awareness can take our relationship fulfillment to new heights. 

If we want to release karma with another and they are not a willing participant in the healing process we can start by calling on our spiritual resources.  At the basic level it requires taking responsibility for our contribution to the karma that has been created, whether it was through allowing ourselves to be the victim or inflicting some harm on another. 

Using clairvoyance and soul healing tools in my work, I help clients look at the unresolved- energetically charged experiences in their relationships.  In this process we release the charge on past experiences, bring the relationship agreement into the present desired state and communicate with the Akashic Record keeper to update the soul records with this new information.   The soul agreement healing allows us to move forward without that sense of incompletion even when the other person is not interested in participating in resolution.

Past experiences alter the lens we perceive our life through, causing our perception of certain relationships to be tinted, foggy, distorted and even blinding us.  When we act on inner-guidance that is skewed by a false perspective we don’t generally get positive results.  These past reference points are often the biggest block to accurately interpreting our intuition.

Our relationship with our inner-guidance is similar to our relationship with a friend. We build trust through experiences together.  In all relationships we enter with assumptions based on our past.  Those unconscious beliefs and expectations effect how long it will take us to create a sense of safety and trust with the person.  If our past experiences have been full of betrayal and pain we may never feel safety and trust.  We may not be able to embrace the positive a person has to offer as we see them through a false belief filter.

Most limitations we face in relationships start with false beliefs.  The lens through which we perceive the world attracts familiar experiences and has us automatically respond to life in a way that gives us an expected result. We formed these beliefs through our own encounters and the examples shown to us by family and society.  In the moment of their creation they had truth and relevance. That doesn’t mean they are true and relevant today.

To build a sense of trust with our intuition we need to form a conscious relationship with it, becoming aware of our filters based on outdated beliefs.  This means when we check-in with our inner-guidance and get a response, we dive deeper.  We ask ourselves if the information is true for us in this specific time and place.  We ask if it is in alignment for our body, mind and heart. What feels good to our body can harm our mind and heart. What feels good to our mind may not be the best choice for our heart or body. Alignment is the key.

Awareness of our experience based lenses and how they distort our view in relationships can help us understand why we aren’t interpreting our intuition clearly.  The experiences we have that show us our intuition is true, protecting us from harm and directing us on a positive path, help develop trust.  When we clean out false beliefs influencing our perception we build more trust in our inner-guidance.  This encourages us to seek out its company and deeply listen to what it has to say in every situation.

Good Grief?

Natalie —  February 10, 2011 — Leave a comment

Grief is more than the emotion that arises when someone we love dies. It surfaces when we experience an ending of any sort. A relationship with someone we love changes or comes to an end due to breakup or divorce. We physically move away from a community or change jobs. Something about our life doesn’t turn out how we thought it would.

As we explore our intuitive nature, empathy is the first place most of us experience a sense of reading another’s energy (2nd chakra). Empathy has us match energy with those we care for to energetically support them. When we feel the intuitive information in our body rather than “see” it in our clairvoyant space (6th chakra) we may have a hard time separating our emotions from that of the other. We take on the pain of another and actually have physical symptoms from it. By doing this we are less capable of providing the needed strength for our loved one. We can maintain connectedness without matching the energy of those around us. In doing so, we tune-in to our own emotions without carrying the burden of the collective grief.

When our heart is broken with grief, the pain may cause us to check-out or escape the feeling. At times we may be unconscious of it but notice that we’re scattered, having a hard time focusing or not feeling very present in our body. A practice of inquiry, when these sensations of distance between body and spirit occur, helps us realign. Asking our body what it feels and listening. Sometimes it requires activation of physical activity like walking, yoga or dancing to reconnect. Feeling pain isn’t easy but allows the energy to move through the natural cycle, providing relief.

The best thing we can do for ourselves when there is a loss in our lives is feel the grief while nurturing our physical body and staying connected with loved ones. If we commit to notice when we want to disassociate from our experience of pain, we can find a path to staying more present. This may be through meditation, physical movement that connects spirit to body or reaching out to a friend to talk. Then when we find ourselves taking on the pain of another we are prepared to breathe deeply, and take the imaginary elevator from our 2nd chakra up to the 6th via the heart to lend strength to those we love.

Positive Diversion

Natalie —  November 24, 2010 — Leave a comment

Our manifestations come from a state of feeling.  Ideally that emotional state is positive, pleasurable even blissful, fueling the future with love rather than fear.  This week I divert from my usual reflections to take you someplace juicy in your thoughts with the hope that it will feed a positive state of creation…

My Love Letter to the Deep Woods

Beloved your sweetness swallows me whole, fills my lungs and blood with tangy oxygen.  The sun draws last night’s mist from your soil, wrapping its arms around me.  I run freely within your wild undergrowth, my feet know your solid springy touch.  I see you and it delights me.  Monstrous fern and elderberry congregate beneath fir trees that reach up to touch the sky.  Fox gloves drip lavender spotted flowers, rising from your curved mountainside.   You receive me without judgment, whisper with honey breath through the delicate breeze of pale green moss dangling from your branches.  You’ve forgotten what season it is for a day and given me the gift of summer clarity, warmth and radiance in the midst of autumn’s slow death.  I rest my face against your meadows, trimmed low by deer grazing.  You hold me firmly as I sink into you, the perfect mattress of chocolate loam.  Your frog and meadowlark sing to me. The red dragonfly hovers.  I’m in love with you.  I’m not afraid to commit to you, my heart is open.  I trust you.  I feel your healing touch hold my hand.  You lead me to peace, a waterfall rushing from its source springs forth from deep within your core. We unite in naked appreciation for one another.