Archives For life

What do you desire?  I desire to feel adored, to feel blessed and to be surprised with luscious new experiences. I desire to feel respected, supported by the Universe and the people in all areas of my life. I desire to give and receive full heartedly.

I desire to step forward, showing up in my life aligned: heart, mind and actions. I desire to be in constant receptivity with the Divine energy source, empowered and able to share it with the world without feeling depleted.  Source is infinite. I desire to feel prosperous beyond compare (pinch me my life is magnificent). I desire to feel a bubbling over of that sense that, “I fucking love my life!!!!”

I desire to feel the pleasure of being touched, feel safe, respected and desired. I desire companionship for walking, dinner, live music, snowboarding, conversations, exploration, play, creative inspiration, home projects and spiritual expansiveness.  I desire to have enough quiet “Natalie time” to listen to my inner-voice deeply and fill my cup with consciousness.

I desire to feel without reservation, whether it be sadness or joy. I desire to be inspired and create beauty around me and within me. I desire to feel physically healthy, balanced, energized, nurtured and strong. I desire to feel emotionally stable, surrendered and allow what I feel to be expressed with ease and acceptance.

I invite you to allow yourself to know your desires, how they feel rather than attachment to the form they take. It is a true invitation for the Universe to amaze you with what shows up!

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Well it Matter in 50 Years?

Natalie —  September 11, 2013 — 2 Comments
This content is for members only

Judgment is a form of control used to move someone onto our agenda.  The silent or embedded message it carries says, “Your choice is not acceptable to me, so choose something different that I’m comfortable with.”  Energetically, judgment is an attempt to control our power center, the area just above the bellybutton (3rd chakra).  It knocks us off-center to give the judge the power position.  Or it allows them to hook into our energy and redirect it to their agenda.

Noticing how we respond to the energy of control attempts from judgments, allows us to strengthen our power by neutralizing the energy rather than getting knocked off-center by it.  Some common responses to judgment are self-inquiry, seeking approval, self-sabotage or over achievement.

Self-Inquiry – The natural first response to someone’s judgment is self-inquiry.  Is it true?  Depending on the relationship we have with the person, we may just assume it’s true. This can translate into thinking something is wrong with us.  Alternately it may be an opportunity to self-reflect, look at a dark corner in ourselves and decide if we want to keep feeding that aspect.  The key indicator here is what our body is telling us, do we feel out-of sorts; is our stomach a bit anxious?  Our body is our intuitions first barometer.

Seeking Approval – The most powerful people in our lives are the ones we love, second only to those in authority positions.  When we love someone it is natural to want their approval.  Even when we are just getting to know a person, we are determining their response to us and would like to be seen favorably.  Judgment comes from unconscious or conscious beliefs that require change of another’s behavior to in order for them to receive approval.  On the spirit level, when we alter what we know to be our truth in order to seek the approval of another, we are depleting our energy, giving a piece of ourselves away.  This is the energetic hook that can become a chronic vampire of our life-force if we continue to deny our truth in order to please others.

Self-Sabotage – Feeling judged can cause us to feel angry.  This anger is intended to show us our boundaries have been violated.  When we are act from the anger we respond one of two ways, self-sabotage or over compensation.  We may consciously say, “they are wrong.” But unconsciously believe the judgment and use our anger to propel us to some self-sabotaging behavior that proves them right.  This is an extreme example of judgment throwing us off-center.

Over Achievement – Alternately we may feel the need to prove the judge wrong by excelling our efforts toward success in the direction we’ve chosen.  This can be a form of competition energy or rebellion against the control. We have to demonstrate that we didn’t deserve the judgment through our success.

When we let judgment be the issue of the person judging by staying in our center, we retain our power.  We don’t let the outside energy influence us to think less of our self, seek approval, self-sabotage, over achieve or throw us out of balance.  We continue to be our true self rather than react in one of the other ways.

Reaction to judgment can actually be a catalyst that generates new experiences that we learn from whether through success or failure.  But if we change our course to respond to another’s judgment we are still changing course, which means we are on a less direct path to the life we want.

Being aware of the energy behind judgment and practicing mediation to stay in alignment with our truth, helps us strengthen our ability to remain centered in the face of judgment and control.  Then we are able to use the emotions we feel in response to being judged such as anger or uncertainty to set healthy boundaries, heal aspects of our self and even catapult us in a direction of our choosing.

Connection is essential to feeling loved. We chase away loneliness when we choose to reach out to connect with people in the simplest of ways, eye contact, a smile, touch or an honest share of our feelings.  Connections make life meaningful; contribute to our sense of belonging and feeling seen.

In December I was reflecting on past holidays as I decided what I wanted to create for my own experience.  On one side of my family, I looked forward to being together because there was connection. We connected through conversation, music, crafts, games and sharing a meal.  On the other side of my family, holidays weren’t negative but gathering together was sort of mundane.  Family members didn’t know how to connect.  It didn’t seem anyone looked forward to spending time together.  People went through the motions of preparing a meal and opening gifts because that’s all they knew. It felt lonely even within a group of people I loved.

Love and connection is a two-way street.  It requires two participants to be willing, interested and open to revealing themself.  It can be vulnerable and not always comfortable to connect.  Reaching out to connect can be misinterpreted because people have different points of reference. We may be distrusted, seen as intrusive or manipulative based on the recipient’s experiences/projections or if our energy comes from a place of neediness. More powerful than our resistance to trust connecting with others is the essential need we all have to be seen and accepted for who we truly are, to be loved and validated for our essence without contingencies.

Connection in current culture requires some effort and intention.  Our worlds aren’t designed to be inter-dependent, rather independent.  We are taught to be self-reliant and not ask too much from others.  We are taught distrust of strangers.  A sense of community has to be sought out and is no longer organically part of our cultural experience.

There is so much constantly happening around us that we often either let the vibration of our environment direct our feelings or find ways to check-out to tolerate it.  The habit of maintaining a certain degree of distance in operating in the world, to keep our energetic sanity, also deprives us of the vitality offered through connections.  Connections can only be fulfilling and sustainable if they come with healthy energetic boundaries.

Connection can be as simple as looking someone in the eye and smiling as we pass them by. Acknowledging them, seeing them rather than leaving them in the periphery of our experience. No matter what I am doing, if I feel connected, whether it is to a person, an animal, nature or God, I experience life as very rich and fulfilling.

When I notice myself feeling lonely or wondering about life’s meaning, I ask myself, how can I connect in a way that brings me into greater alignment with myself?  What can I offer in the connection so it is balanced and mutually beneficial? When I reach out to connect, my energy always shifts in a positive way.  My spirit drops deeper into my body. I relax, feel more peaceful and purposeful.

NASA Photo of Eagle Nebula

NASA Photo of Eagle Nebula

Mystery is awesome.  It contains the seed of life!  The power of the unknown gifts us joyful surprise, anticipation and passion, if we allow it.  Most often we contract in the face of the unknown.  Our body tenses up for fear of being out of control, the uncertainties of no guaranteed outcome, the fear of disappointment.  But if we relax into trust, our very being is able to flow with the mystery and we heighten our capacity to receive, our experience of excitement, celebration and noticing life’s miracles.

Every moment we are in the process of creation.  We are creating our lives through our thoughts, actions and unconscious beliefs.  To create with the most power we must surrender to the mystery, let go of the specific form our creation is required to take in order to please us.  In our society outcomes are often forced to meet a specific agenda, scheduled, pre-selected in detail, like a travel itinerary. But when we allow room for the mystery, the outcome while unpredictable has more juice and life to it. Magic happens!

At the New Year most of us reflect on what we have accomplished in the past year and identify what we would like to experience in the coming year.  How do we come to a strong inner-knowing that our intentions, the visions of what we want to create in our life, are coming to us?

To clear the path for this level of trust, I find myself navigating a cacophony of thoughts and feelings.  Observing what is supporting or in the way of my freedom to receive.  Where I am judging others and myself?  Where I am giving away my power?  Where I am withholding from myself or choosing fantasy over the truth of what is? Where I am failing to see the vastness of options before me because my sight is focused on what I lack rather than what I have?  Where I am allowing the wants, needs and demands of others to override my wants, needs and self-care?

Where I am in avoidance of my feelings because noticing them doesn’t feel good?  Where do I choose to check-out rather than check-in with myself?  Where do I see not getting what my heart desires as some failure on my part?  Where am I at peace and where am I unsettled?  Where am I in resistance to things that are good for me?  Where do I fail to surrender because I want it my way?!? Where do I feel angry at another or judge them without acknowledging my anger at myself and self-judgment?  Where is it I crave escape and allow it to dominate my free time?

Where do I try and fail and try and succeed and keep pushing my edge to expand past the discomfort?  Where do I have courage without noticing it and fearlessly press into the vast unknown? Where do I take risks and feel empowered?  Where do I light a fire to transform energy, warm the hearth, or light the path?  Where do I see the non-physical universe and witness another soul’s journey?  Where do I connect with another?  Where do I wake up and realize I was never sleeping?  Where do I feel alive?

These questions are meant to shed away the layers between my expectations and the fruition of my desires. I trust that my visions will manifest in my life. Why?  I have seen it happen countless times.  I feel them coming.  I feel the joy and it feels as if they are already the truth of my experience even though they haven’t yet taken physical form.  I don’t know what form they will arrive in or when. That’s the mystery.  Yet I trust their arrival, as reliable as the seasons change.  The more I take actions to show the universe my intent, that I’m willing to receive with full surrender.  The more my experiences are better than I ever would have imagined.

What would it take for you to feel satisfied with your life? Fulfilled, as if everything that was happening was as you desired?  A different job, a new or changed relationship, different living arrangement, better health, more money, a vacation, closer friendships, less work, time to follow your creative passion?  The aspects of our lives that we feel at peace with don’t have to be perfect, but flow with ease. We don’t dwell on them, because for the most part we are getting what we want.

The areas of our life that aren’t fulfilling our needs are what we struggle with and notice.  They translate to the false belief that something outside of us needs to change in order for us to feel at peace.  When we believe this, we are giving our power away.  There is an energy drain precipitated by cycles of thought, feeling and behavior that reinforce staying unsatisfied.

I think of Homer Simpson holding onto the soda can he’s been trying to steal from a vending machine, while emergency workers go to great lengths to try to extract his arm.  We hold onto a certain vision of what we need to feel satisfied in a job, lover, etc.  When Homer finally realizes, he doesn’t want the soda bad enough to give up other things in his life, he let’s go of the can and pulls his arm out of the machine. He’d created his own experience of being stuck in the machine by holding on to something that wasn’t designed to be his, at least not without him being in alignment with the system that would allow it to be his.

Everything we experience is designed to show us where we are in alignment or not.  If we are attached to specific circumstances we “must have” to feel happy, a deeper look inside our Self will reveal what is out of alignment in our life, the misalignment creating a sense of lack.  Are we making a decision based on financial fear to work too much or at a job we don’t like which limits our time and energy to create in other areas?  Are we using busyness or addictions as a form of avoidance, so we won’t have to address the relationships in our life that are uncomfortable?  Are we blaming work or a relationship for our suffering and disappointment?  As long as we hold on to the belief that our happiness is contingent upon someone or something changing we will be unfulfilled and not find inner-peace.

Try this simple meditation to assist in creating a sense of peace in an area where you feel dissatisfied.

  • Begin in a simple silent meditation state (see my post a Meditative Path to Clarity).
  • Visualize a bubble floating in front of you to represent the area in your life where you feel dissatisfied unfulfilled or stuck.
  • See a rose outside of that bubble, like a magic wand, it is there to draw out any energy from that bubble that is negative or fear based.
  • Watch as energies such as control, punishment, anger, anxiety, disappointment, fear, guilt, and shame move out of the bubble into the rose.
  • Once the bubble is free of these blocks, send the rose to a faraway place in your mind’s eye and let it dissolve with the intention that it causes no harm.
  • Now imaging a golden ball of light hovering above the bubble that represents the area of your focus for the mediation.  Fill that ball of light with all of the positive vibrations (emotional energies) you would like to experience in this area of your life, such as: ease, grace, pleasure, fulfillment, joy, inspiration, flow, playfulness, support.
  • When the golden ball of light is full of good vibrations drop it into your bubble and see them become one.

You have shifted the focus in this area of your life from disappointment and lack to ease and flow with your intentions.  Our habits pull us quickly back into old thought patterns, so revisit this visualization as often as you find necessary.

Personally, I find it a very challenging practice to let go of certain desires happening in the timeframe that I want.  But whenever I hold onto the yearning for a different experience than “what is” I am less satisfied with my life.  This doesn’t mean that I give up on my hearts desires and dreams.  What it does mean is that I acknowledge that what I am experiencing right now is exactly as it should be.  As difficult as it may feel, I trust that what I am experiencing is the universe speaking to me, to show me how I can get into greater alignment with myself.

Animals as Healers

Natalie —  September 26, 2012 — 2 Comments

Bisbee the soul in a dogs body from 2002 to 2012

Reposting this in memory of my four-legged companion Bisbee who passed to the other side in August.  I watched his soul meet the angels waiting as he left his body.  It was a joyous moment for him but a huge loss for me.  I miss his presence.  For those of you who have had readings with me, you will miss his sensitivity to energy moving in the sessions and his awareness of when our session was nearing completion… the dog timer.

Animals are more than companions, they are teachers and healers.  Animals live in the present.  They don’t worry about the past or the future.  In their presence, our pets are tuned-in to the vibration of the moment and can give us clues about the energy of an experience if we pay attention to their signals.  They sense the vibration of those around them and respond accordingly.

When I’m in session with a client and a potent spiritual energy is being moved out of the space, my dog will become interested and put his body between the two of us.  He senses the presence of this other entity as it is detaching from the person who has been carrying it.  He’s showing up to offer healing assistance and protection.  On a simpler level, he’s checking out the other energy that just arrived in the space, as he would greet a person that came to the front door of the house.

Pet companions, especially cats and dogs, offer us insights into the energy of people in our lives.  Is the person comfortable with themselves or fearful of connecting with others? Do they have a spiritual entity in their space that they are allowing to operate their body?  Animals recognize it, and display uncharacteristic behavior such as avoidance of the person, overt dislike or blocking the person from approaching their owner. This is equally true for self-reflection, our animal companions change the way they respond to us when we are not being ourselves i.e. when we have some spiritual energy in our space that is altering our vibration.

Pets don’t have a ‘socially acceptable’ filter that prevents them from showing their authentic response to a person or another animal.  They are tuned-in to energy and respond without hesitance by cowering, attack, cuddling or ignoring.  They can draw our attention to something or someone being off.

As humans we’ve learned the healthy respect of others boundaries and consider behavioral appropriateness before we snuggle up to someone or tell them off.  We are programmed to respond in a ways that deny acknowledgment of our true intuitive response to a person and the vibrations they are carrying.  We use past experiences as a point of reference and overide what we feel in the present.

By observing our pets we can learn to be more present, intuitively tuning in to the energy as we engage in relationships.  Our animals offer comfort and healing when they sense we are upset, angry, sad or in pain. They sleep beside us when we are physically sick or emotionally distraught. They play with us when we are joyful and invite us to play with them when we are too caught up in mundane tasks to smile.  They always offer unconditional love. And they teach us to listen to our intuition by being tuned into the vibrations of all beings they encounter.

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Me & my boy Bisbee by www.photographyg.com

Animals are more than companions, they are teachers and healers.  Animals live in the present.  They don’t worry about the past or the future.  In their presence, our pets are tuned-in to the vibration of the moment and can give us clues about the energy of an experience if we pay attention to their signals.  They sense the vibration of those around them and respond accordingly.

When I’m in session with a client and a potent spiritual energy is being moved out of the space, my dog will become interested and put his body between the two of us.  He senses the presence of this other entity as it is detaching from the person who has been carrying it.  He’s showing up to offer healing assistance and protection.  On a simpler level, he’s checking out the other energy that just arrived in the space, as he would greet a person that came to the front door of the house.

Pet companions, especially cats and dogs, offer us insights into the energy of people in our lives.  Is the person comfortable with themselves or fearful of connecting with others? Do they have a spiritual entity in their space that they are allowing to operate their body?  Animals recognize it, and display uncharacteristic behavior such as avoidance of the person, overt dislike or blocking the person from approaching their owner. This is equally true for self-reflection, our animal companions change the way they respond to us when we are not being ourselves i.e. when we have some spiritual energy in our space that is altering our vibration.

Pets don’t have a ‘socially acceptable’ filter that prevents them from showing their authentic response to a person or another animal.  They are tuned-in to energy and respond without hesitance by cowering, attack, cuddling or ignoring.  They can draw our attention to something or someone being off.

As humans we’ve learned the healthy respect of others boundaries and consider behavioral appropriateness before we snuggle up to someone or tell them off.  We are programmed to respond in a ways that deny acknowledgment of our true intuitive response to a person and the vibrations they are carrying.  We use past experiences as a point of reference and overide what we feel in the present.

By observing our pets we can learn to be more present, intuitively tuning in to the energy as we engage in relationships.  Our animals offer comfort and healing when they sense we are upset, angry, sad or in pain. They sleep beside us when we are physically sick or emotionally distraught. They play with us when we are joyful and invite us to play with them when we are too caught up in mundane tasks to smile.  They always offer unconditional love. And they teach us to listen to our intuition by being tuned into the vibrations of all beings they encounter.