Archives For letting go

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you’ll know exactly what to do. Michelle Ventor

A soul agreement relationship can feel confusing when you don’t know if it is for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Sometimes you get overly attached and the relationship ends. Other times you feel complete after the purpose of your work together is done.  Not all people arrive to a sense of completion at the same pace.

If your agreement is for a reason, your encounter is generally quick.  You get in a fender bender. The kindness that you and the other driver respond with provides an opportunity for both of you to heal your fears of a stranger’s anger.  Agreements for a reason may show up to complete a past life commitment or be a Divine hand to point you in a different direction than you were heading.

Agreements for a season last longer. They can involve helping someone through a challenging time, or showing up for each other in ways that push you to evolve. They’re more likely to leave lingering feelings of attachment when they end.

A “season” soul agreement came through my life fifteen years ago. I worked with Theresa, a woman who was single and pregnant at forty. The father was older than her, and chose not to be involved although they’d been engaged when she got pregnant. He didn’t want to become a father again at his age.  Her family was unavailable to support her.

One day at work she mentioned that she was going to start her Lamaze classes soon. I asked her, “Who is going with you?” She replied that she was going alone. I felt compelled to offer to go with her. She accepted my offer although we were only acquaintances. We attended birthing classes together and I was at the hospital when her daughter was born. We kept in touch for a year after the birth, but when I changed jobs we lost contact.

My soul agreement with Theresa and her daughter Hannah was simple; support them through this challenging time. Don’t let them go it alone. I felt compelled and can’t explain why, it was our soul agreement. A sure sign you have a soul agreement is when you feel compelled to do something beyond the level of your existing relationship.

I would love to know how they are doing, but our relationship agreement was completed in the season of Theresa’s pregnancy and first year of her daughter’s life. It faded with love, acceptance and appreciation on both sides.

You may feel sad or disappointed when a relationship fades after an intense journey shared together. Yet if you have completed your soul agreement it is natural that there is no draw to continue connecting.

In some cases, one person may be clear that the agreement is complete or they may decide not to complete their agreement in this lifetime. That can create residual karma and cause you pain. If you don’t feel at peace about the end of a relationship it is time to update your soul agreement. Alternately if you want to maintain a continued connection after the purpose of your coming together has been fulfilled, it helps to update your soul agreement with new intentions.

In next week’s blog I’ll provide a guideline for updating your soul agreements.

A trapeze artist must let go of one bar to grasp the next, allowing the momentum to carry her to her destination. She trusts that the brief moment between attachment to one bar and firmly holding the next will not result in a fall to injury or death.  Whenever we let go of one belief, one aspect of routine or commitment in our life en route to a new experience, we have to cross a moment where there is nothing to hold on to.

It’s a moment of faith. We know where we’ve been. We know it’s time to let go and change. We see what we are willing to try next, our next step, even if we aren’t sure what it means or where it is taking us. When momentum and synchronicity of life circumstances is on our side we may not notice the large cavern below as we swing to our next possibility.

The familiarity of the old way of being can have us stuck. It’s easier to keep doing what we’ve done rather than take the risk of change. Over time we may miss multiple opportunities to make a change. We elect to wait a little longer, stick with the familiar because it seems less stressful, or just more comfortable.  The trapeze we are swinging on loses contact with the flow and we aren’t getting close enough to the opportunity for change that arrives.

We see it but it’s out of reach. Or we stop seeing new opportunities and are hanging there in that familiar spot, with the belief or in the relationship or with the job we’ve been at for a long time, yet we know it’s a dead end. It’s not where we are supposed to be.  We’re stuck.  We are a sailboat in windless waters.

How do we let go of whatever we are stuck on, the aspect of our lives asking for change that we’ve avoided?  How do we create momentum, movement, and wind in our sails?  We move energy.

Moving energy is pretty simple.  One way to do it is through intentional visualization, eyes closed or open, we set an intention to move the stuck energy out of our space.  I do this by visualizing a rose in front of me that is vacuuming out the stuck energy from my aura.  It doesn’t need to be any more specific than that.

If you want to get specific  you can watch various unhelpful energies move out of your aura and into the rose such as fear, anxiety, uncertainty, disappointment, self-judgment, disapproval from loved ones or possible failure.   When the rose is full of the energy you have moved out of your space, imagine it going to a faraway place, a mountain top or desert. See it dissolve, recycling the energy into the neutrality of the universe.

Moving stuck energy out of our aura creates momentum and room for the new possibility. The more energy we let go of that isn’t serving us, the more wind is available to fill our sails and carry us to our next destination.