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Too Busy for Synchronicity?

Natalie —  July 31, 2018 — 2 Comments

Can you tell me a story of when synchronicity changed your life? You ran into the right person at the right time. You learned about something that led to a new job, passion or relationship. You were following your inner-guidance with courage and some trepidation, when support you would have never imagined showed up along the way.

Synchronicity, in the spiritual sense, is the way your inner-guidance shows you that you are on the right path or helps you get back on that path if you’ve taken a detour. The thing that can be challenging about this sort of magic is allowing enough flexibility in your life to listen, adjust and say yes to the guidance.

In 2000, I decided to go to a writing retreat not far from home in Grand Lake Colorado, it was a last-minute decision because I didn’t have a lot of money. I was questioning many parts of my life, self-employed as an artist, having just turned 30. The retreat was at a hostel and our group mostly filled it up but there were a few other travelers staying there.

One of the travelers was a man from the Netherlands, Philippe who had been hiking through Rocky Mountain National Park. He had planned to hike a loop back to his starting point but twisted his ankle and needed to exit the opposite side of the park to get a ride back to Denver. I was enjoying the discussion in the common area with the travelers when we met.

The next morning at breakfast we had a great conversation. He was getting a ride to Denver. An older woman in the writing group had been engaged in the conversation at our table. When he offered her his business card she turned around and handed it to me. She said, “Actually, I think this young lady needs it.”

After the writing retreat I went home, got an office job and ended my live-in relationship. I was listening to my guidance. A few months later I ran across Philippe’s card when I was cleaning my desk and sent him an email. We became email friends, it was before social media existed. A couple years later he came to Colorado and we climbed Mount Bierstadt together. Four years after we met, he came to visit again and we fell in love.

We had a magical and challenging time together, as many long-distance relationships go, that require one person to move countries. We loved deep and taught each other many things while together. The synchronicity and karmic connection we experienced was profound and wonderful. Each of us listening to our inner guidance lead our paths in different directions after a few years. If I hadn’t made room for synchronicity I might have missed this amazing experience.

Making plans creates the structure of your life and allows you to get many things done in a concentrated amount of time. Stuff that might not happen if there were no plans. Yet too many plans or chronic busyness can block your inner-guidance, make you overlook the synchronicity altogether or not have time for it when it shows up.

Listening to our inner-guidance and being open to synchronicity isn’t always comfortable. We might hear something that means we need to change in a way that is scary or unsettling. But living without listening is not living at all. It’s getting caught in a current that is not taking you where your soul wants you to go.

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I often get into conversations with parents of sensitive kids who don’t know how to help.  They were never given the tools to manage their own sensitivity or they don’t have the same sort of sensitivity. I was a sensitive kid.

Some people are simply born with more sensitivity to the energies around them. They have natural empathy, feeling what others feel. And frequently get drained, overstimulated or emotional in response to their surroundings.  They don’t yet know how to recognize when what they are feeling is not their feelings, or how to create healthy boundaries.  Sensitivity has two main roots:

  1. Nature
  2. Trauma

Trauma based sensitivity is a result of conditioning. Many highly sensitive people had childhood trauma. Their sense of safety required heightened alertness, “reading” people in order to minimize abuse or manage stress. A survival skill to navigate home life or societal traumas such as war.

I’ve recently identified a new branch on the trauma root that previous generations did not experience. Sensitive children conditioned by the stress of over stimulation. Constant stimulation has particularly deep impact on developing minds.

What we experience in childhood sets the baseline for normal throughout life.  Trauma that heightens sensitivity doesn’t have to be first hand.  Frequent exposure to unpredictable violence through the media can traumatize a child. Make them feel unsafe at school or other environments where a sense of safety was previously the norm. How a child learns to manage it shapes their life forever.

My parents were sensitive too. Like most of us they were taught or found ways to suppress their sensitivity when it got too uncomfortable. There are a lot of ways we suppress sensitivity:

  • Substances that alter our state of sensitivity, from coffee to alcohol or pharmaceuticals
  • Checking-out, habits that detach us from feeling, TV, internet, video games
  • Staying busy, not allowing enough time to process experiences
  • Eating for comfort
  • Using the mind to deny what one senses

Now that you understand a bit more about the roots of sensitivity and how it is typically suppressed, what can you do to help yourself or your sensitive child?

The first step is to shift from thinking sensitivity is bad. Sensitivity is heightened awareness. It is a skill. Even a gift when we get comfortable with it. Getting comfortable with it is the tricky part.

Second, you learn to notice when it’s happening and identify it as something you are experiencing in response to your environment rather than your own emotions or thoughts. To do this ask yourself or ask your child to ask themselves a few questions:

What do I feel? Is it “my” feeling? Is it something I feel around me? What or who around me is feeling like this?

This begins the process of getting clear on what you sense that is your energy and what isn’t your energy that you feel in your environment.

Once you know that something you feel is not yours, you are free to consciously give your Self space from it. You can do this by visualizing the emotion, thought or physical sensation moving into a rose or a pretty rock. Somewhere separate from your body. As you are practicing you might want to have a clean-out rock or crystal that you use for this and periodically soak it in water with Epsom salts to clear the energy.

Over time your awareness of the sources of your sensitivity becomes clearer and your ability to separate from the energy that isn’t yours is a habit. Then you will experience your sensitivity as a tool or a gift to help you navigate life.

The magic of sensitivity is revealed when you are not suppressing it, turning it off or denying it but can see it as valuable information. Then you are free to apply the understanding to your choices in a given situation.

Spiritual Tests

Natalie —  January 29, 2015 — Leave a comment
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Even the best of us can be fooled sometimes, believing what we are told by someone who is being dishonest. We lean toward accepting what someone says as the truth until it strays outside of believable or we have an experience with them where we discover a lie and become skeptical.

As we cultivate our intuitive awareness, we start to notice when we receive indicators that a person isn’t being forthcoming, a gut feeling. Our belly (third chakra) tightens when we sense dishonesty. Deception is one way people use to maintain power in a situation. That may simply be due to the person’s need to feel in-control, invulnerable or to keep us seeing them in a certain light.

Recognizing dishonesty becomes trickier when the person truly believes what they are saying or feels justified in their actions. For example, a person believes that something should be theirs and steals it but then doesn’t admit it is stolen when confronted. It’s harder to “read” their dishonesty as they are sold on their own entitlement.

Or someone you go on a date with tells you they are a snowboarder and mountain biker but hasn’t actually done either for many years.  They don’t see this as a lie because they see themselves as who they were ten years ago and believe it to be their identity.  When it emerges that they aren’t actively doing these things, they may still adamantly define themselves as that person who they were in the past, rather than being honest with themselves about who they are in the present.

Being lied to and not realizing it until we’ve felt the impact of the betrayal brings up a full gamut of emotions, shame at not recognizing it sooner, feeling foolish, self-doubt, anger, a loss of our innocence in trust for others, disappointment, grief, heartbreak and confusion.

When our intuition signals to us that we aren’t getting a straight story or the person’s actions aren’t lining up with their words, it activates our analyzer. The part of our mind that tries to make sense of the difference between what we intuit and what we are being told.

Our brain wants alignment between what we perceive and what we hear. Incongruity keeps it activated, trying to make sense of the nonsense.  In this way, doubting our intuition when we perceive dishonesty, consumes a lot of our energy. Or as my spiritual mentor says, “Secrets, lies and withholds are toxic.”

To get clear on the truth, we start by noticing our body’s response. Where do we feel tense? If the belly is clenched it is telling us something’s awry. Then we take a few deep breaths to get centered and ask our higher Self some questions, listening deeply for the answers:

  • Has this person lied to me or are they acting without integrity?
  • Do they believe what they are telling me is true?
  • What does this person need me to believe about them and why?
  • Is my own unrelated fear triggering doubt for this situation or person?

Ultimately our peace comes from acknowledging the incongruence within analytical and intuitive aspects of our mind and directly addressing the person whose actions we sense are not following their words.  Encountering dishonesty can be disheartening, feel like betrayal and drain our energy. The more we listen to our intuitive indicators and trust our Self to see the situation clearly by using more than the physical senses, the less energy we will lose in the dance between analyzer and intuitive mind.

Following Your Dreams

Natalie —  October 22, 2014 — 3 Comments

Temple Sunrise

Dreams point us in the direction of what we believe will bring us greater happiness and pleasure in life. Yet often we get stopped short by the enormity of getting from here to there.  Or we get distracted by easier things to do that we don’t value as much (procrastination) and forget to listen to our inner voice as it points us in the direction of that desire.

Occasionally we run headlong in the direction of our dream and the clues the universe delivers along our pathway are a blur. We don’t see them because we’re so focused on an outcome and miss a critical opportunity en route.  Our soul speaks to us always of what is true and right for us, but we have to allow space to listen. This inner guide gives us regular clues, invitations on the journey, to take short cuts or meandering long roads that expand our possibilities, connections, inspiration and foundation as we head toward a vision.

Experience is what living is about. Every meaningful experience is a gem that fills your treasure chest as a soul.  As you reflect on your collection of gems, they evoke emotional resonance. You may still feel surprise and excitement at the synchronicities that occur when you are present and listening. One of these gems may have been your first exposure to your dream.

Such as the time I affirmed a little girl’s insistence that she could see a dog in my truck with me shortly after my dog Luka had died.  Her parents kept telling her “no, there’s no doggie.” That day I was taking a step toward fulfilling a dream of helping others with their spiritual journey that led to the clairvoyance I now offer. This little girl who was able to “see” reminded me what is available when I look at life from a place of innocence and don’t listen to the voices negating my experience.

A more recent gem in my treasure chest of experience was created from the discomfort that pushed me and my friend to change plans, pack up and move camps three days into Burning Man, the first step that led to changing my trajectory for the entire experience.  My soul kept nudging me to embrace a deeper trust that all of my needs would be met without external reassurances. Listening, following what I felt called to do without knowing how many things would work out (food, a place to sleep and transportation back to Oregon). I was never in lack and found the less I concerned myself with survival the more community support and synchronistic connections showed up.

Gems are created from great pressure that creates beauty. We find them in river beds, in caves… the freshest brightest moments of our lives and the darkest most inward times.

Our soul’s assignment is not to achieve something big that will go down in history or arrive at the Summit of a peak. Fulfilling a dream is fantastic, but to have our eyes open on the way there, that is where the magic lies. To choose a path and choose again, a multitude of times as we walk along a path, noticing what feels right and what feels off. Each step in the direction of a dream realized is an opportunity to listen to our soul’s guidance, to the Divine that is us, as it leads us through experiences, energies and obstacles.