Archives For healing

I like to say, the reason it’s important to include, “until death do we part,” in marital vows, is that you want the soul contract of marriage to end at the physical bodies death.  As much as you love each other, you may or may not choose to come back together in another lifetime.

Relationship soul agreements are commitments you make to another person that last beyond your body’s lifespan. Love, romance, sensual steamy desire for another and elation when you are with the beloved is one of the primary drivers in our soul experience.

Connection with the beloved, when at its climax, feels like your soul’s reason for being. We all want to feel in love, to be in love, to feel loved, to feel seen, to be cherished by our beloved, and desired. To feel alive in the presence of the other.

Then why is love so hard? Why do long-term relationships seem to be more about working stuff out, tolerance, and compromise, then being turned on? And why are short-term relationships often so fraught with misunderstanding?

I believe it is because, through the power of love, you are fulfilling your soul agreements.

Beyond the hormones, mental and emotional attraction to partnership, there is this deep river of your soul’s drive to resolve unresolved experiences, or complete incomplete agreements. Unresolved or incomplete experiences are created by both positive, ecstatic love connection, and not so positive, painful interactions.

You come back together in your relationship soul agreements to either recreate an amazing feeling you want to experience again, or to resolve the old karma of a painful or traumatic experience. Maybe both.

For example, you may feel strongly that you are meant to be with someone who doesn’t feel the same for you. You have an unresolved soul agreement with them. One they are choosing not to show up for in this lifetime. Or you may feel compelled to stay in an abusive relationship because of your past life together. Karma that keeps you feeling you have a debt to pay or aren’t free to leave.

Our souls create relationship agreements both consciously and unconsciously. Marriage is a conscious agreement. But what type of soul agreement is created through physical intimacy? While science has some interesting things to say about love, there is little acknowledgment given to the soul’s experience of sexual connection.

Both partners enter with their own beliefs and soul agreements to play out. Is the intimacy a new celebration of what’s possible or is it revisiting an old soul agreement? The impact of merging energy goes beyond the mind, emotions and body.

Seeking consciousness of your relationship soul agreements and directly communicating what they mean to you with your lover is the best way to create positive love connections. It is vulnerable but powerful. It helps you avoid going down a painfully familiar path and unconsciously recreating repeat experiences. Experiences that may create more of the pain they were trying to heal.

You have the power to update, change or end your relationship soul agreements. The more you release of the souls unresolved experiences with your beloved the more joy is possible in the present. You stop working out old karma and start enjoying the moment.

Here’s a free guided meditation I made to help you update your soul agreements: Download

The world has been pretty wacky lately. As much as I’d like to be able to give you a magic remedy to lift you up out of the mire, the truth is there is no such thing. But there are a couple tools that will help you claim your inner-peace.

One is to connect with the essence of your soul’s presence in your body. This can be done on a bike ride or on a yoga mat. There are no rules aside from breathing and being aware of the present moment. In order to let go of thoughts of the past or the future, let your awareness follow your breath. The more you do this the easier it is to return to your center and recognize the energy that isn’t yours but is affecting you. My next point!

Not everything you feel is your own. Knowing this helps you ride the waves rather than be pummeled in the surf, to stay sane in the midst of a wacky world. The second tool is to identify and clear other people’s energy out of your space. Let’s do that!

What you feel that is NOT generated from within has three primary sources:

  1. Absorbing someone else’s emotions such as sadness, anger or fear
  2. A direct energy whack, such as being blamed, shamed or punished
  3. Group energy, collective beliefs or feelings

Absorbing emotions can happen through supporting someone you love or unconsciously healing someone you are physically around who is suffering.

An energetic whack, has two parts: your feelings generated from it and the energy sent at you by the person. Psychology says understand and heal your feelings but misses the second part.

For example, a client of mine is a teacher and one of her students needed to be sent out of class due to behavior that was preventing others from learning. The student’s parent went into a rage on the teacher rather than acknowledge that her child was out of line. She blamed her for shaming her son.

My client was completely thrown off. She questioned herself and how she handled the situation. She had followed normal protocol. The student had been given multiple opportunities to change his behavior. While her colleagues validated that she did no wrong, she couldn’t find peace. The energy whack from the parent was in her space.  Until the energy that wasn’t hers was moved out, she felt “off.”

Group energy impacts can include world events, the community where you live, where you work, worship or socialize in-person or online. The news, politics, natural disasters, beliefs about wealth and poverty. These are compounded by the number of people feeling and radiating out discontent and fear. Collective energy gets into everyone’s space. Clear it out regularly!

Start with the breathing tool, then move into this simple visualization:

  • Imagine a bubble suspended in the air in front of your body
  • Intend that any energy that isn’t yours move out of your body into this bubble
  • It may or may not be attached to a specific person or experience. For example, move out all financial fear that is not yours. Ranging from the global economy to the specific fears of your spouse or parents.
  • Name the feeling behind the energy you are moving out: disappointment, pessimism, depression, anger, jealousy, shame, exhaustion…
  • When the bubble is full of all of the energy that is NOT you, watch it float to a faraway place in your mind’s eye and pop.
  • Then call your energy back to yourself from the sources you identified.  See yourself being filled up with the energy of your own essence, like liquid gold flowing into the top of your head.

Hopefully it helps a little bit to know the influence of wacky global, cultural or social energy around you has a real impact.  It’s not just you and you’re not alone. Use this awareness and these tools to claim your inner-peace.

Manifest Your Dreams

Natalie —  April 6, 2016 — Leave a comment

When the sky goes dark, before the light of the moon starts to return again, new moon energy supports planting seeds for your dreams. What you focus on or envision at a new moon has more potency.  This month the new moon falls on April 7th.  Take time to consider with intention what dreams you would like to manifest in your life.

The exercise in my blog post last month set a strong foundation and prepared your creation space. Now you are ready to manifest your dreams. Remember: Foundation + Creation = Manifestation

Harness new moon energetic support and be intentional with your manifestation on the day of the new moon or day after. You may want to repeat the practices from last month’s blog post first or do them now if you haven’t yet.

Make a list of what you want to manifest in your life. With these intentions in mind, follow this simple mediation:

With your eyes closed, imagine that the base of your spine (root chakra) has an anchor connected to the center of the Earth. Just above this connection and below your belly button is your sacral chakra, it is where you hold creation energy. Say to your sacral chakra, out loud or in your thoughts, “thank you for everything you have helped me create and will help me create in my life.” Gratitude fuels positive creation.

Move up your body now to just above your belly button, this is your solar plexus chakra, where you hold your personal power, the “will” that gives you what is needed to manifest your creations in the world. Before you set your manifestation intention it helps to give your solar plexus a healing. It is your center of gravity, where you balance your body’s interaction with the world.

Over the course of life, you have had your energy whacked for showing your power. Whether it was at five years old by a controlling parent or recently by a co-worker uncomfortable with your attempt to manifest something new.  These whacks leave scars. They change your response to the world and get in the way of feeling permission to use your power to manifest.

Imagine you have a paint brush in your hand that has been dipped in gold. The gold has healing power. Use that paint brush to touch each scar or open wound on your belly. As you touch them with the paint brush they heal.

When your healing is complete, visualize a rose directly out in front of you. This rose is your manifestation tool.  You can imagine separate roses for each area where you have dreams to manifest such as financial ease, a relationship healing, a new home. Or you can use one rose for all of it. This is your life, so play with what works for you.

Remember the list of what you desire to manifest, drop words or images representing these dreams into the blossom of the rose. I like to be both specific and general, such as imagining a new home with a fireplace made of river rock, and add the feelings that I want to experience related to my home: peace, comfort, ease.

Fill the rose in your imagination up with the literal and feeling oriented values you hold for this manifestation. For example, if you ask for abundance, be specific that you want financial abundance/prosperity versus an abundance of bills. And include what you would like to feel as a result: I have enough, money comes ease, I have unlimited possibilities etc.

Once your manifestation rose is brilliantly shining with your dreams and desires, see a bubble around the rose blossom for protection. Then ask the Divine Mystery (God) to bless the manifestation. Imagine the stem of the rose being snipped to set it free and watch it float up into the sky to be manifest.

Keep your faith strong. Take any actions you need to support your intentions.  When you ask clearly and set your energy to match the vibration of the manifestation, the universe is free to support you! Blessings to you, as you manifest a life that is better than you ever imagined!

p.s. I note the new moons on my calendar for the year so I am reminded when reset my intentions. You may want to do this too. Click here for a calendar of new moon dates.

The two critical energetic steps to manifesting a positive new experience are:

  1. A Solid Foundation
  2. Clear Creation Energy

Think of it this way: Foundation + Creation = Manifestation If the foundation isn’t in place or the creation energy is muddled your manifestations don’t last or aren’t as great as they could be.

A strong foundation means you are grounded so you are stable as the change shifts your center of gravity. When the good comes you want to be able to enjoy it. The root chakra at the base of your spine is your energetic foundation. It is where you hold the energies of survival, safety and security.

To establish or reinforce your foundation, follow this simple meditation:

Visualize your root chakra connected to the Earth by seeing a beam of light or tree trunk attached to the base of your spine extended down into the center of the Earth. Set your intentions that this new grounded foundation is “in present time” by thinking of today’s date. Claim that this foundation is only for you. You ground for YOU, no one else (unless you have young children, it is important to ground for them too).

With your solid foundation in place, move up in the energetic body to just below your belly button. This is your sacral chakra where you hold creation and sexual energies. Clear creation energy is free from past limitations and the influences of others in your life. It is important to clean out your creative energy space so you don’t repeat undesirable experiences.

To clean out your creation space imagine you are holding a helium balloon on a string. The balloon’s job is to collect up all the energies you are cleaning out of your sacral chakra. Imagine these energies move out of the area of your body just below your belly button, like a wisp or silver strand they move into the balloon filling it up.

Here are some energies you may want to move out of your creation space and into the balloon:

  • Fear of failure
  • Need to control the creation/outcome
  • Other’s discomfort with your success, competition
  • Belief that only a certain range of possibilities are available
  • Grief from false starts, unfertilized seeds, miscarriages, unfulfilled dreams
  • Possessiveness, someone’s energy keeping you to themselves or possessing you sexually
  • Depression, hopelessness, discouragement
  • Blame, shame, anger, jealousy
  • Attachment to the form the creation needs to take
  • Energy whacks/wounds from your past attempts to create or to your sexual energy
  • Unworthiness, the lie that you don’t deserve to manifest or can’t because of x y z…
  • Fear of success, resistance, suppression of your ability to have what you want
  • Other’s attention on your creation. It doesn’t matter if it’s curiosity, poor boundaries or mal intent, move it out, it is in your way.
  • Rigidity, feeling stuck, stagnancy

Now that you’ve cleaned ALL that unwanted energy out you may have a bouquet of balloons! Thank them for their assistance and let the strings go. Watch the balloons floating up into the sky, higher and higher until they disappear.

For extra credit, imagine filling your sacral chakra with energies you would like to experience in your creative space such as ease, inspiration, unlimited possibilities, sensuality or whatever you like.

With your solid foundation and vibrant creation space you are empowered for brilliant manifestation. I’ll dive into manifestation in my next blog post.

Remember: Foundation + Creation = Manifestation!

When you fall in love a lot of what attracts you to your beloved are matching beliefs, wounds and behaviors. They feel familiar. Will you continue repeating generational and personal patterns, or choose to change them?

The terms of your soul agreement are established in the early stages of courting. Some may even be in place from past lives your souls shared. Over time these agreements evolve through changes in commitment, communication and behaviors.

Yet some aspects of your soul agreement are operating based on old beliefs, wounds or past life unresolved experiences that brought you together.

For example one partner comes to the relationship with a family belief that prosperity requires stress, effort and hard work to obtain and maintain. This survival level wound has him working long hours to provide a lifestyle that he doesn’t get to enjoy, while resentment builds for his wife who seems to get all the benefits and doesn’t seem to be working as hard.

His wife has a matching wound. It is a wound to her personal power. She believes she will be punished if she exerts her power to manifest prosperity. As a child she was repeatedly reprimanded by her mother for using her power to get what she wanted. So she has chosen a career that doesn’t allow her to express her power.

When she takes steps to heal that wound she decides to make a career change to feel more empowered. Her husband encourages her. Yet because he believes that it is hard to generate prosperity, he influences her to take a job that is hard for her. It doesn’t fit her nature and she continues to feel disempowered.

On the surface it looks like they are working together to support the change in their soul agreement around prosperity but unconsciously the old pattern is still playing out. Until their matching soul level wounds and beliefs are released, the pattern will keep rearing its head in different forms in their relationship. Keeping them stuck in the lack of true prosperity and creating tension.

As your relationship with your beloved grows, your beliefs and old wounds have an opportunity to shift. Your soul agreement needs to be updated along the way. You came together for a purpose. The connection needs a renewed purpose to thrive. When you ask to see, heal and shift outdated aspects of your soul agreement you create new purpose to thrive in love and partnership.


I offer couple’s soul agreement readings with both partners present. It takes an immense courage for two people to look directly at their relationship agreement. It is a very powerful soul freeing evolutionary step.

Soul Agreements with Family

Natalie —  December 2, 2015 — 2 Comments

You are born surrounded by parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins who are part of a web of souls coming together for a collective soul agreement. Your longest-term soul lessons come from family members, whether they are physically present or absent from your life. The way you receive or reject each other, nurture or neglect each other, control or empower each other, encourage or put-down each other.

Having a soul agreement with each of these key players in your life means:

  • you have information you are here to learn from each other
  • you may have promises to keep from your past soul encounters
  • or unresolved karma

It does not guarantee that you will keep these agreements. Nor that family will behave in a way that is loving, kind, helpful or growth oriented. Sometimes soul agreements involve retraction, contraction, obstacles, pain, loss, suffering or aloneness.

Family soul agreements are the juiciest kind as they get activated before your soul-body consciousness kicks in. The physical body’s early development is an incubation time for the soul. The soul in a new body has to surrender to an infant’s limitations and learn to eat, sleep, walk, talk, read, count and many other skills needed to survive.

In that early time when you are completely dependent on your care takers for survival, you are open to the imprint of your mother, father, siblings or others who take care of you. How they feel about themselves and how they feel about you forms your view of yourself. The lens you see the world through. Their beliefs and behaviors set unconscious programs in place that you may carry with you your entire life.

In the cauldron of their own soul lessons, your arrival into your family may have come with joy or fear.  The tone of your arrival is reflective of your soul agreements with your family. You may have a soul agreement to arrive under the sunny energy of true love. Or you may have an agreement to come in at a certain time, even if the timing isn’t convenient for them, it may even be stressful or unwanted.

Soul agreements with family contain a heavy portion of loyalty, sometimes beyond what is healthy.  Therefore, abandonment is exceptionally painful when it comes from family. The ripping away of the biologically programmed survival connection can forever haunt a person’s life.

If you’ve had difficult or abusive relationships with family members, it’s hard to image that your soul chose the agreement. Remember the future is not written. Each soul involved in a relationship has a choice and each day every soul chooses in every moment if they will listen to and live from their wounds and fears or seek healing and love.

So know that although you may have a soul agreement with difficult family members, it doesn’t mean you are required to continue to tolerate abuse. These souls may have an obligation to fulfill with you from a past life. They may have come in with the intention of healing and found the world around them cultivated more wounds, pain and fear.

If you are here to cultivate love and healing, which I suspect you are because you are reading this blog post, then you’re taking the opportunity to shift the trajectory of your soul agreements. You can alter these agreements through your spiritual intentions, through shifting what you are willing to experience with your family members.

You may love your family and also choose to complete your soul agreements with some of them at the end of this lifetime, or even before this lifetime ends. You also may set the intention to meet again in some future soul shape and journey in new ways. I offer guidance on how to do this in the post How to Change a Soul Agreement.

You have the power to heal, resolve or complete your family soul agreements even if the other person is not willing to participate in this shift. The simple truth in family soul agreements is that no matter which role you are playing in the family, parent, child or sibling, you are each other’s teachers.

Angels and guides are available at any time to help you. They are tuned-in to the vibrational manifestation of your soul and respond to your prayers and requests for assistance from the spirit world. These high-frequency souls do not get bound to fulfill a specific task nor do they attach themselves to a human’s energy field. They are simply available to help you, if you ask. Therefore your soul agreements with them are initiated by your requests.

Angels are healing and protective entities that will come to your aid. They have always been in the angelic form and only intervene under a few circumstances. Angels come at your request, from the prayers another has made on your behalf, or to protect/direct you in order to insure you fulfill your soul’s destiny. This third way I consider as the angle following an order from the Divine. One of the simple everyday ways I feel angels come to my aid is when driving. Many times I’ve felt an angelic presence step in between my car and another vehicle to prevent an accident.

Spirit guides are different than angels in that their soul has lived in a human body in the past. They learned deep lessons in human form and have wisdom available to assist those living. These souls have decided not to reincarnate into a body but to provide assistance from the spirit world. Because they have lived before they have a vast spectrum of experience for you to draw upon. They also only engage with you at your request and don’t attach themselves to a human’s energy field.

Your agreements with angels and guides are created by request and from a desire for a positive outcome. You create a soul agreement with an Angel to provide protection or assist in healing in various forms. Angels also are representatives of the Divine and ultimately may show up to provide a function or deliver a message on behalf of the Divine.

A guide is different in that it is there to offer wisdom and point us in a direction that is important for our life path. Guides have a variety of knowledge from their soul’s experience. They can bring us expertise in areas that we need for different parts of our life. If you want, you can have a spiritual board of directors, or spiritual counsel that is made up of several guides who assist from the sprit world on different subjects. For example you may have a guide you work with to help you with your creative expression like music or writing. And another guide who provides assistance in parenting or with specific skills required for your employment.

With angels and guides, you are always in the drivers seat. The relationship’s are at your request and may be for a moment or for a long period of time. But they will never try to intrude on your physical body space. You can call on them and call them by name if you have a specific angel or guide you would like to work with to support your life.

The day dawned and I saw the tasks before me. My heart wasn’t in it. My mind was busy trying to figure out how to return to peace.  I was in an existential crisis. All felt meaningless. Not knowing what else to do I resorted to the reboot button. I went out into my backyard and lay in the grass on the earth, staring up at the sky allowing Earth to absorb the suffering of all humanity held in my bones.

Slowly the solid slightly damp ground beneath my body started breathing with me. Earth  is so deeply wise in its transformation of what falls upon it into loam. My mind’s attachment dissolved, disillusion. Earth absorbing all of my need to find meaning, explanations, understanding, belief, disbelief, purpose. In the presence of such vast, enduring simplicity my yearnings are a pinprick.

I let it go. Not even claiming to know what “it” I’m letting go. Human suffering? Grief for all the suffering my psychic eyes see? All that cannot and will not be healed, fixed, resolved in this lifetime? Everything that is in-between me and Being-ness.  So that I can walk back to the world of, this-equals-that: time-equals-pay, money-equals-options, healing-equals-happiness. For a moment I’m not sure what I believe. Believing seems like a way to make myself feel safe when truthfully the entirety of existence is unfathomably complex.

On this patch of dirt and grass, looking up at the sky crisscrossed with power lines above my backyard, contemplating life’s mystery.  I know this much, I need nature. Earth is my lifeline. It does more than ground me. It heals me. It allows the unknown to be unknowable. It allows my mind to stop. It opens my heart. It dissolves all attempts to avoid The Divine  Mystery’s call.

I’m listening. Listening means feeling. I’m feeling. Feeling sucks sometimes. I am so glad that I feel.

I danced the night before this existential crisis at Rhythm Sanctuary. I felt discomfort, my body wanted to loosen. I was impatient with the sounds. They felt too slow and jolting. I wanted to dive in to the fire, but it was only sticks, then a spark of flint. The wood was wet and taking time to ignite. When the fire caught, my body felt rhythmic and alive. I trusted my body and it moved in all the worshipful, tribal, ecstatic ways it wanted. But my brain was still engaged. It was only when my brain stopped noticing my dance that I enjoyed how I felt.

My underlying problem is that I spend too much time in the place where my brain is noticing.  The brain noticing is critical and comparative, it wants an answer. It wants to know what to do to get to pleasure. The brain can’t get to pleasure. The brain has to lay on Earth and recognize it is simply a different form of dust. Match vibrations with eternity.

The brain must surrender its role as the keeper of the human body. It is CEO, it has enough information to lead but not the capacity that the heart has to feel, the womb has to surrender and merge, the belly has to propel. The brain wants to figure it out. It doesn’t do well with what can’t be measured and decided.  Its job is to decide, to analyze.

All misery comes from my brain yet it is my best ally. I want to train my brain to recognize when it’s trying to fix or solve something that is out of its expertise. I want it to advise me to take council with the heart, to check in with my pleasure center, to ask the skin, the womb, the voice what they have to say. The brain struggles to find pleasure.  It’s not able to manifest pleasure, only measure it. Its job is to reflect on the other aspects of me that are creating sensations through life experiences. Then select the best option.

In an existential crisis my brain has nothing to work with. All the facts aren’t facts. They are feelings, sensations, knowingness that comes from the body. There is no decision to be made. No action to take. It is a time to stop, listen and feel. Reboot. To follow the rest of my soul’s experiences back to pleasure.

Souls without a body, such as your deceased loved ones, angels and other spiritual entities, have the ability to interact with you in the nonphysical plane. They represent one of the categories of soul agreements and are often the most tricky to identify. Some of these soul agreements with the spirit realm are created at your request; others are consequences of exposure to a spiritual entity under certain circumstances.

Helpful agreements are those created in response to your souls request, they either benefit you by providing protection, controlling your response or blocking experiences that are unwanted.  Hindering soul agreements are initiated either through a trauma experience, taken on to help another person heal or from energetic boundaries becoming permeable while using mind altering substances.

There are a few types of souls without bodies:

  • Angels/Guides – spiritual helpers who assist you upon request, they may help many people simultaneously and don’t attach in the way that Spiritual Entities do (invitation only)
  • Ancestors – Deceased loved ones, in spirit form, who communicate and assist but don’t attach
  • Spiritual Entities – attach themselves to you to do a job, or they get into your space in one of the hindering ways I mentioned above

You can have agreements with all of them but the ones that most often require intervention through agreement updates are spiritual entities.  Here’s an example of how a soul agreement with a spiritual entity is formed.

Around the age of three to five years, the responses you receive to showing your will or power teach you how much power you are allowed to have and how you are allowed to express what you want. If you experience a negative response to your power from someone you care about, you may call in a spiritual entity to help you control your expression of power. This experience is accompanied by a mental belief that your power can create disapproval or punishment. And by altered behaviors, that stop you from doing what comes naturally.

As an adult you recognize this pattern and choose to reclaim your power. You change your beliefs and behaviors. Yet you still find that the people don’t see what you are capable of.  They don’t see or acknowledge your power because the spiritual entity is protecting you from possible disapproval that would come from showing your full power.  You have an outdated soul agreement, blocking you from being seen for who you are.

Agreements with spiritual entities can also be created by and inherited from your parents or grandparents. These are passed down to keep you from experiencing a negative experience they experienced or as part of a family disease soul contract such as addiction or suicide.

Some negative spiritual entities are very strong and don’t like to leave. They are using your energy to their benefit. Those inherited from generations-old family agreements may be moved out, only to discover another similar spiritual entity shows up in its place.  Multi-generational soul agreements need to be healed back to the point of their creation to prevent attracting in another similar vibration entity. (I’ll cover this in future posts on family agreements).

You have the senior position in all of your spiritual contracts, including those with souls that don’t have a body. You can tell them to leave, end your agreements or change their job. In some cases you may prefer to get assistance from a professional to end or update these agreements.

In the next two weeks I’ll cover your soul agreements with ancestors, diseased oved ones, angels and guides. Please comment with questions and share your experiences here or on my Facebook page.