Archives For healing
You are born with a bunch of DNA that gives your cells the building blueprint for your body. DNA is like an architectural plan for the building that is your body, from conception to death. As a soul entering your family, biological or adoptive, you inherit more than the DNA that has survived and evolved for thousands of years. You get a broad array of deeply impactful and mostly unconscious soul vows, beliefs and programming. This is your spiritual genetic inheritance.
While you can influence your health and appearance, your DNA is set or life. That’s not true for your spiritual genetic inheritance. You have come into your family line to help it evolve what no longer works genetically and you have the opportunity to heal aspects of your spiritual genetic inheritance.
For example, your mother’s mother may have been told or had the experience that she needed to “earn her keep.” That merely shining her unique soul light wasn’t enough to illicit the approval or love of her family. To navigate life, she created a belief that she had to over-give to be worthy of approval. Never sitting down to the dinner table while the rest of the family ate, often feeling depleted, forever giving, and uncomfortable receiving.
This belief became part of the spiritual DNA she passed down to her children, that they then passed down to their children. Is it true that she wasn’t enough as her unique soul light? No. But she believed it because those who birthed her into the world taught her through their behaviors and responses.
Her experience became a part of her decedent’s spiritual genetic inheritance, rather than simply a learned behavior, because it made an unconscious imprint on the soul memory bank. An unresolved experience, that she spent her whole life seeking to resolve through over giving.
Another form of spiritual inheritance is a soul vow with another being. When an ancestor makes an agreement with a spiritual entity, helpful or harmful, or allows one into their space these entities can get passed down for generations.
Two hundred years ago, your ancestor may have grown up in a physically abusive home. He felt pain a lot and didn’t like the way it felt. So, he called out for help, “I don’t want to feel this pain.” This created an agreement with a protective entity that helped him not feel the pain. Something he needed for survival. At the time it was helpful. As an adult, he could have said, “thank you, I don’t need your protection from pain anymore.” And ended the soul vow with that entity, allowing himself to feel a full spectrum.
Because he kept the agreement and felt it was necessary to safely navigate life, he passed this soul vow down to the next generation. In the next generation, it may have taken the form of blocking that person from their heart, making it hard for them to feel connection or driven the person to abuse alcohol to avoid feeling. The entities job was to block feeling pain and it continued doing its job.
Your soul continuously seeks to resolve that which has been left unresolved by repeating the experience until it is resolved. Even if that experience was not your experience but one of your ancestors. The unresolved spiritual DNA of your ancestors needs to be released so you can be more fully aligned with your soul. The same is true for our soul vows with entities that are inter-generational. Are they helpful, or is it time to end the agreement? You probably have another way to navigate life that is more fulfilling or peaceful than their presence allows you.
I like to say, the reason it’s important to include, “until death do we part,” in marital vows, is that you want the soul contract of marriage to end at the physical bodies death. As much as you love each other, you may or may not choose to come back together in another lifetime.
Relationship soul agreements are commitments you make to another person that last beyond your body’s lifespan. Love, romance, sensual steamy desire for another and elation when you are with the beloved is one of the primary drivers in our soul experience.
Connection with the beloved, when at its climax, feels like your soul’s reason for being. We all want to feel in love, to be in love, to feel loved, to feel seen, to be cherished by our beloved, and desired. To feel alive in the presence of the other.
Then why is love so hard? Why do long-term relationships seem to be more about working stuff out, tolerance, and compromise, then being turned on? And why are short-term relationships often so fraught with misunderstanding?
I believe it is because, through the power of love, you are fulfilling your soul agreements.
Beyond the hormones, mental and emotional attraction to partnership, there is this deep river of your soul’s drive to resolve unresolved experiences, or complete incomplete agreements. Unresolved or incomplete experiences are created by both positive, ecstatic love connection, and not so positive, painful interactions.
You come back together in your relationship soul agreements to either recreate an amazing feeling you want to experience again, or to resolve the old karma of a painful or traumatic experience. Maybe both.
For example, you may feel strongly that you are meant to be with someone who doesn’t feel the same for you. You have an unresolved soul agreement with them. One they are choosing not to show up for in this lifetime. Or you may feel compelled to stay in an abusive relationship because of your past life together. Karma that keeps you feeling you have a debt to pay or aren’t free to leave.
Our souls create relationship agreements both consciously and unconsciously. Marriage is a conscious agreement. But what type of soul agreement is created through physical intimacy? While science has some interesting things to say about love, there is little acknowledgment given to the soul’s experience of sexual connection.
Both partners enter with their own beliefs and soul agreements to play out. Is the intimacy a new celebration of what’s possible or is it revisiting an old soul agreement? The impact of merging energy goes beyond the mind, emotions and body.
Seeking consciousness of your relationship soul agreements and directly communicating what they mean to you with your lover is the best way to create positive love connections. It is vulnerable but powerful. It helps you avoid going down a painfully familiar path and unconsciously recreating repeat experiences. Experiences that may create more of the pain they were trying to heal.
You have the power to update, change or end your relationship soul agreements. The more you release of the souls unresolved experiences with your beloved the more joy is possible in the present. You stop working out old karma and start enjoying the moment.
Here’s a free guided meditation I made to help you update your soul agreements: Download
The two critical energetic steps to manifesting a positive new experience are:
- A Solid Foundation
- Clear Creation Energy
Think of it this way: Foundation + Creation = Manifestation If the foundation isn’t in place or the creation energy is muddled your manifestations don’t last or aren’t as great as they could be.
A strong foundation means you are grounded so you are stable as the change shifts your center of gravity. When the good comes you want to be able to enjoy it. The root chakra at the base of your spine is your energetic foundation. It is where you hold the energies of survival, safety and security.
To establish or reinforce your foundation, follow this simple meditation:
Visualize your root chakra connected to the Earth by seeing a beam of light or tree trunk attached to the base of your spine extended down into the center of the Earth. Set your intentions that this new grounded foundation is “in present time” by thinking of today’s date. Claim that this foundation is only for you. You ground for YOU, no one else (unless you have young children, it is important to ground for them too).
With your solid foundation in place, move up in the energetic body to just below your belly button. This is your sacral chakra where you hold creation and sexual energies. Clear creation energy is free from past limitations and the influences of others in your life. It is important to clean out your creative energy space so you don’t repeat undesirable experiences.
To clean out your creation space imagine you are holding a helium balloon on a string. The balloon’s job is to collect up all the energies you are cleaning out of your sacral chakra. Imagine these energies move out of the area of your body just below your belly button, like a wisp or silver strand they move into the balloon filling it up.
Here are some energies you may want to move out of your creation space and into the balloon:
- Fear of failure
- Need to control the creation/outcome
- Other’s discomfort with your success, competition
- Belief that only a certain range of possibilities are available
- Grief from false starts, unfertilized seeds, miscarriages, unfulfilled dreams
- Possessiveness, someone’s energy keeping you to themselves or possessing you sexually
- Depression, hopelessness, discouragement
- Blame, shame, anger, jealousy
- Attachment to the form the creation needs to take
- Energy whacks/wounds from your past attempts to create or to your sexual energy
- Unworthiness, the lie that you don’t deserve to manifest or can’t because of x y z…
- Fear of success, resistance, suppression of your ability to have what you want
- Other’s attention on your creation. It doesn’t matter if it’s curiosity, poor boundaries or mal intent, move it out, it is in your way.
- Rigidity, feeling stuck, stagnancy
Now that you’ve cleaned ALL that unwanted energy out you may have a bouquet of balloons! Thank them for their assistance and let the strings go. Watch the balloons floating up into the sky, higher and higher until they disappear.
For extra credit, imagine filling your sacral chakra with energies you would like to experience in your creative space such as ease, inspiration, unlimited possibilities, sensuality or whatever you like.
With your solid foundation and vibrant creation space you are empowered for brilliant manifestation. I’ll dive into manifestation in my next blog post.
Remember: Foundation + Creation = Manifestation!
When you fall in love a lot of what attracts you to your beloved are matching beliefs, wounds and behaviors. They feel familiar. Will you continue repeating generational and personal patterns, or choose to change them?
The terms of your soul agreement are established in the early stages of courting. Some may even be in place from past lives your souls shared. Over time these agreements evolve through changes in commitment, communication and behaviors.
Yet some aspects of your soul agreement are operating based on old beliefs, wounds or past life unresolved experiences that brought you together.
For example one partner comes to the relationship with a family belief that prosperity requires stress, effort and hard work to obtain and maintain. This survival level wound has him working long hours to provide a lifestyle that he doesn’t get to enjoy, while resentment builds for his wife who seems to get all the benefits and doesn’t seem to be working as hard.
His wife has a matching wound. It is a wound to her personal power. She believes she will be punished if she exerts her power to manifest prosperity. As a child she was repeatedly reprimanded by her mother for using her power to get what she wanted. So she has chosen a career that doesn’t allow her to express her power.
When she takes steps to heal that wound she decides to make a career change to feel more empowered. Her husband encourages her. Yet because he believes that it is hard to generate prosperity, he influences her to take a job that is hard for her. It doesn’t fit her nature and she continues to feel disempowered.
On the surface it looks like they are working together to support the change in their soul agreement around prosperity but unconsciously the old pattern is still playing out. Until their matching soul level wounds and beliefs are released, the pattern will keep rearing its head in different forms in their relationship. Keeping them stuck in the lack of true prosperity and creating tension.
As your relationship with your beloved grows, your beliefs and old wounds have an opportunity to shift. Your soul agreement needs to be updated along the way. You came together for a purpose. The connection needs a renewed purpose to thrive. When you ask to see, heal and shift outdated aspects of your soul agreement you create new purpose to thrive in love and partnership.
I offer couple’s soul agreement readings with both partners present. It takes an immense courage for two people to look directly at their relationship agreement. It is a very powerful soul freeing evolutionary step.
You are born surrounded by parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins who are part of a web of souls coming together for a collective soul agreement. Your longest-term soul lessons come from family members, whether they are physically present or absent from your life. The way you receive or reject each other, nurture or neglect each other, control or empower each other, encourage or put-down each other.
Having a soul agreement with each of these key players in your life means:
- you have information you are here to learn from each other
- you may have promises to keep from your past soul encounters
- or unresolved karma
It does not guarantee that you will keep these agreements. Nor that family will behave in a way that is loving, kind, helpful or growth oriented. Sometimes soul agreements involve retraction, contraction, obstacles, pain, loss, suffering or aloneness.
Family soul agreements are the juiciest kind as they get activated before your soul-body consciousness kicks in. The physical body’s early development is an incubation time for the soul. The soul in a new body has to surrender to an infant’s limitations and learn to eat, sleep, walk, talk, read, count and many other skills needed to survive.
In that early time when you are completely dependent on your care takers for survival, you are open to the imprint of your mother, father, siblings or others who take care of you. How they feel about themselves and how they feel about you forms your view of yourself. The lens you see the world through. Their beliefs and behaviors set unconscious programs in place that you may carry with you your entire life.
In the cauldron of their own soul lessons, your arrival into your family may have come with joy or fear. The tone of your arrival is reflective of your soul agreements with your family. You may have a soul agreement to arrive under the sunny energy of true love. Or you may have an agreement to come in at a certain time, even if the timing isn’t convenient for them, it may even be stressful or unwanted.
Soul agreements with family contain a heavy portion of loyalty, sometimes beyond what is healthy. Therefore, abandonment is exceptionally painful when it comes from family. The ripping away of the biologically programmed survival connection can forever haunt a person’s life.
If you’ve had difficult or abusive relationships with family members, it’s hard to image that your soul chose the agreement. Remember the future is not written. Each soul involved in a relationship has a choice and each day every soul chooses in every moment if they will listen to and live from their wounds and fears or seek healing and love.
So know that although you may have a soul agreement with difficult family members, it doesn’t mean you are required to continue to tolerate abuse. These souls may have an obligation to fulfill with you from a past life. They may have come in with the intention of healing and found the world around them cultivated more wounds, pain and fear.
If you are here to cultivate love and healing, which I suspect you are because you are reading this blog post, then you’re taking the opportunity to shift the trajectory of your soul agreements. You can alter these agreements through your spiritual intentions, through shifting what you are willing to experience with your family members.
You may love your family and also choose to complete your soul agreements with some of them at the end of this lifetime, or even before this lifetime ends. You also may set the intention to meet again in some future soul shape and journey in new ways. I offer guidance on how to do this in the post How to Change a Soul Agreement.
You have the power to heal, resolve or complete your family soul agreements even if the other person is not willing to participate in this shift. The simple truth in family soul agreements is that no matter which role you are playing in the family, parent, child or sibling, you are each other’s teachers.
Angels and guides are available at any time to help you. They are tuned-in to the vibrational manifestation of your soul and respond to your prayers and requests for assistance from the spirit world. These high-frequency souls do not get bound to fulfill a specific task nor do they attach themselves to a human’s energy field. They are simply available to help you, if you ask. Therefore your soul agreements with them are initiated by your requests.
Angels are healing and protective entities that will come to your aid. They have always been in the angelic form and only intervene under a few circumstances. Angels come at your request, from the prayers another has made on your behalf, or to protect/direct you in order to insure you fulfill your soul’s destiny. This third way I consider as the Angel following an order from the Divine. One of the simple everyday ways I feel Angels come to my aid is when driving. Many times I’ve felt an angelic presence step in between my car and another vehicle to prevent an accident.
Spirit guides are different than Angels in that their soul has lived in a human body in the past. They learned deep lessons in human form and have wisdom available to assist those living. These souls have decided not to reincarnate into a body but to provide assistance from the spirit world. Because they have lived before they have a vast spectrum of experience for you to draw upon. They also only engage with you at your request and don’t attach themselves to a human’s energy field.
Your agreements with angels and guides are created by request and from a desire for a positive outcome. You create a soul agreement with an Angel to provide protection or assist in healing in various forms. Angels also are representatives of the Divine and ultimately may show up to provide a function or deliver a message on behalf of the Divine.
A guide is different in that it is there to offer wisdom and point us in a direction that is important for our life path. Guides have a variety of knowledge from their soul’s experience. They can bring us expertise in areas that we need for different parts of our life. If you want, you can have a spiritual board of directors, or spiritual counsel that is made up of several guides who assist from the spirit world on different subjects. For example you may have a guide you work with to help you with your creative expression like music or writing. And another guide who provides assistance in parenting or with specific skills required for your employment.
In your relationship with Angels and guides, you are always in the drivers seat. The soul agreements are at your request and may be for a moment or for a long period of time. But they will never try to intrude on your physical body space. You can call on them and call them by name if you have a specific Angel or guide you would like to work with to support your life.