Archives For happiness

To understand darkness we must know light, to value pleasure we must also known pain.  Yet when we suffer we feel it is a signal that something is wrong in our life, something needs to be changed or healed.

We only suffer because the mind notices incongruence in what we desire and what we are experiencing.  It thinks about the pain of not having what we want, stews on it and torments us with it.  Webster’s Dictionary defines this dependency, “suffering implies conscious endurance of pain or distress.”  If our mind doesn’t know the pain, we don’t suffer, hence laughing gas at the dentist office.

The human mind can suffer over very abstract subjects, such as not knowing one’s purpose, relationships that aren’t as we would hope them to be, regrets, not feeling clear about what path to take, not feeling connected to others in a fulfilling way, worry, feeling powerless, not knowing what the future will bring, feeling stuck or stagnant in our life.  Suffering takes the emotional forms of anxiety, unhappiness, tension, inner-conflict, fear, grief and depression.

“A cold in the head causes less suffering than an idea.”                 Jules Renard

Everyone I work with as a clairvoyant desires relief from some level of suffering.  Externally it may look like the suffering is an experience of the physical body, like it is being caused by someone in their lives, some condition they must tolerate or the lack of an answer to an elusive question. But the real source of suffering is what the mind does with the emotions these physical and circumstantial experiences evoke.  To relieve suffering we must go to its source, the belief system.

When we love someone and can’t be with them because either they don’t feel the same about us or circumstances keep us a part, our heart feels broken, disappointed and longs for the connection of their company.  It is our belief about it that causes us suffering. Usually it’s something like our life will not be as good without this particular person or we will never feel love again.  Our mind notices that pain and wants relief.  It may seek relief through the company of another lover, a bottle of wine or self-critical thoughts that shut down the feelings. 

The intuitive mind senses and responds to emotions while the analytical mind calculates questions and tries to “figure them out.”  When we can’t figure it out we suffer.  The analytical mind spins and we have no place to go but the sense that something is wrong because we can’t see a solution that relieves our pain.  The analytical mind processes the painful emotions and physical sensations seeking relief in the form of an answer.  If there is no formula to make our pain go away, which is the case with emotional distress, the mind suffers over its own suffering, compounding the sensation that something is wrong.

Our subconscious beliefs about what to expect from our experiences, other people or life in general, live in our blind spot and create the greatest suffering.  Some are inherited in our DNA, others are acquired from experiences. All are written in the book of our soul, the Akashic records

To release the mind from suffering we must shift false and outdated beliefs. This goes beyond psychology to soul level transformation.  It often requires the help of someone who can see and heal our subconscious blind spot.  What we can do for ourselves is practice stilling the analytical mind through meditation or intentional body movement (yoga, walking outdoors, dance, breath work etc).  Stopping the mind from its obsessive search for answers to emotional experiences provides healthy relief of our suffering.  When we meditate regularly it breaks the cycle of unproductive mental activity, setting us free and bringing greater peace.

To understand darkness we must know light, to value pleasure we must also known pain.  Yet when we suffer we feel it is a signal that something is wrong in our life, something needs to be changed or healed.

We only suffer because the mind notices incongruence in what we desire and what we are experiencing.  It thinks about the pain of not having what we want, stews on it and torments us with it.  Webster’s Dictionary defines this dependency, “suffering implies conscious endurance of pain or distress.”  If our mind doesn’t know the pain, we don’t suffer, hence laughing gas at the dentist office.

The human mind can suffer over very abstract subjects, such as not knowing one’s purpose, relationships that aren’t as we would hope them to be, regrets, not feeling clear about what path to take, not feeling connected to others in a fulfilling way, worry, feeling powerless, not knowing what the future will bring, feeling stuck or stagnant in our life.  Suffering takes the emotional forms of anxiety, unhappiness, tension, inner-conflict, fear, grief and depression.

“A cold in the head causes less suffering than an idea.”          Jules Renard

Everyone I work with as a clairvoyant desires relief from some level of suffering.  Externally it may look like the suffering is an experience of the physical body, like it is being caused by someone in their lives, some condition they must tolerate or the lack of an answer to an elusive question. But the real source of suffering is what the mind does with the emotions these physical and circumstantial experiences evoke.  To relieve suffering we must go to its source, the belief system.

When we love someone and can’t be with them because either they don’t feel the same about us or circumstances keep us a part, our heart feels broken, disappointed and longs for the connection of their company.  It is our belief about it that causes us suffering. Usually it’s something like our life will not be as good without this particular person or we will never feel love again.  Our mind notices that pain and wants relief.  It may seek relief through the company of another lover, a bottle of wine or self-critical thoughts that shut down the feelings. 

The intuitive mind senses and responds to emotions while the analytical mind calculates questions and tries to “figure them out.”  When we can’t figure it out we suffer.  The analytical mind spins and we have no place to go but the sense that something is wrong because we can’t see a solution that relieves our pain.  The analytical mind processes the painful emotions and physical sensations seeking relief in the form of an answer.  If there is no formula to make our pain go away, which is the case with emotional distress, the mind suffers over its own suffering, compounding the sensation that something is wrong.

Our subconscious beliefs about what to expect from our experiences, other people or life in general, live in our blind spot and create the greatest suffering.  Some are inherited in our DNA, others are acquired from experiences. All are written in the book of our soul, the Akashic records

To release the mind from suffering we must shift false and outdated beliefs. This goes beyond psychology to soul level transformation.  It often requires the help of someone who can see and heal our subconscious blind spot.  What we can do for ourselves is practice stilling the analytical mind through meditation or intentional body movement (yoga, walking outdoors, dance, breath work etc).  Stopping the mind from its obsessive search for answers to emotional experiences provides healthy relief of our suffering.  When we meditate regularly it breaks the cycle of unproductive mental activity, setting us free and bringing greater peace.

We all encounter experiences that trigger a knot in our stomach that just won’t go away; relationships that are unstable, bills that we don’t have the money to pay, situations at work that undermine our sense of power, unexpected changes that leave us feeling out of control of our circumstances. When we dismiss our intuitive guidance it adds to this sense of anxiety, we are at odds with our truth. Ultimately we all desire to have a sense of inner peace.

Anxiety is formed at a decision point or indecision point, when a fight or flight experience occurs.  If we deny ourselves permission to confront or exit a situation, we must control, ignore, or belittle the response in our body overriding it with our brain’s demand to stay put and tolerate it. In doing so we discount our most basic survival need, a sense of safety.  The desire to run or defend ourselves, churns in our belly with no place to go.

Anxiety is felt in the abdomen, our third chakra core of personal power.  When we deny our self permission to act, we suppress our power and our stomach tightens.  Our body holds the cellular memory of trauma. It can be activated even if we’ve psychologically and emotionally processed an experience.  While we may not feel the emotion of anxiety, we may notice the tension held in our belly.  A new experience triggers a memory of when we suppressed our instinctual needs in the past.

Reunion with the body’s wisdom happens when we notice the tightness in our stomach before it turns into something more painful, letting it inform our path of action.  A check-in with our intuition helps us see if the anxiety is asking us to speak our truth, physically leave a situation or make different choices that don’t result in us finding ourselves in the conflicted environment again.

To cultivate a sense of inner peace, we can consciously assist our body, mind and spirit with alignment.  First we breathe into the part of our body where we have tension and notice what it brings to mind about our life.  Then we free ourselves from anxiety by listening to our intuitive guidance and acting in accordance with our needs.

Snowboarding and skiing exercise the same muscles we use to access our intuition.  Here are five ways that they can contribute clarity to other areas of your life:   

1) Align with Your YES

Flying downhill at high speed with gravity as your motor, split second decisions are your power.  Every turn, every choice of direction is an inner yes that aligns you with the mountain and puts a smile on your face.  When your choices align with your yes they bring pleasure.  Your intuition is validated and responds by informing you with increasing speed and accuracy.

2) Wipeout Prevention

To survive and stay injury free skiing you must pay attention and be present in the moment.  The consequence of having your mind on anything but what you are doing is painful. The same is true when acting on your inner-guidance.  Being distracted muddles your perception, often with painful results.

3) Give Your Analyzer a Break

Snowboarding connects you with your inner child.  As a kid you didn’t spend so much time analyzing life. You were curious, playful and stuck your tongue out to taste the falling snow.   Trusting your intuition requires that you approach life with child like openness to non-linear answers.

4) Read Your Surroundings

Navigation of the slopes includes maintaining awareness of the skiers around you.  A portion of your consciousness is engaged in quickly reading what those in your path will do next to prevent collision.  Your intuitive guidance is meant to help you navigate life through perception of how those around you are behaving. Then direct your life in a way that stays on course and avoids negative impact.

5) Move Forward in Whiteout Conditions

When there’s poor visibility, flat light or blizzard conditions, the way to stay injury free is to relax your body, trust its perception and response to the terrain.  If you try to be in physical control rather than flow, your body will be stiff when you hit a bump, launching you in an unintended direction.  When you strain to see what is not ready to be seen you meet whiteout conditions.  Relaxation of control is required for supportive information to flow.

So get out there and rip it up! Your body and soul will thank you.

How Creation Energy Works

Natalie —  January 13, 2011 — Leave a comment

Photo by Patrick Yuen

There are many ways we contribute to the content of what is manifesting in our lives: thoughts, beliefs, emotions, actions, inaction, words spoken to others and requests to our higher power. With each of these we are adding possible outcomes to our future experience.  It is not the circumstances we are in so much as the beliefs, thoughts and feelings we have about them that affect our happiness.  We are much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for in the creation of our life. 

Last spring I saw Esther Hicks speak in Colorado and I was reminded of a potent truth in the concepts presented through her channeling Abraham.  The law of attraction or manifestation, from the perspective of Spirit is uninhibited by the perceived limitations of the Physical. It is all about matching energetic vibrations.  Abraham calls it the Vortex, an energy space in the future that we are filling non-stop through our emotions both positive and negative.  The Vortex doesn’t have an opinion about what vibrations we put into it.  It is there, as I see it, like a master soup bowl that continues to simmer as we add ingredients simply by directing our energy.  The resulting flavor is a combination of all that has been added.  This perpetual pot of soup that sits on the stove of our lives continues to change form based on what we are adding to the pot.  On a bad day we might put in a heaping spoonful of doubt or fear, on a good day we might add clarity and love.  The next week, month or year, when we finally get around to tasting the concoction that has been brewing in our future, we may be appalled by it, “Hey Universe/God, this isn’t what I ordered!”  Unfortunately we did order it.  We just weren’t paying attention to how our thoughts, feelings, actions and words were contributing to our future dining experience.

This isn’t to suggest we should make matters worse with self-criticism or try to control the full spectrum of emotions.   The intent is to bring to consciousness our power to contribute to a more fulfilling, juicy meal.  One of those dining experiences that you hope will never end, where each bite is taken slowly with pleasure.  What hit home with me about the Abraham message, was that when we are in those moments of low biorhythm or in a state of negativity, we can stop adding ingredients to the soup by taking a break from thinking about what it is we “wish” were true and what we “want” in the future, instead just do life.  Wash the dishes, do the laundry, go grocery shopping, head to the gym and don’t engage in the creation process.  When we are in an unconstructive emotion it is easy to get caught up in the struggle around changing our experience and in doing so inadvertently add vibrations to our Vortex of future experiences that we don’t want, rather than those we desire.

Re-New Year Focus

Natalie —  December 29, 2010 — Leave a comment

From Blog Free Hugs: The Virus of Connection

The start of a New Year is an opportunity to reflect on what has been and set intentions for what will be.  We live in the present moment, but dreams and desires for the future create focus for our lives.  Without focus we are usually disappointed with the results of our efforts.  If our wish is to experience a greater sense of love and fulfillment, a focus on authentic connection with others will help us create it.  Last year around this time, I recognized a desire to communicate in relationships where I had been avoiding a topic because it felt uncomfortable to address.  My aim was to notice when I felt resistance to share my feelings, take a look at the discomfort and find a path, however imperfect it may be, to express what I was feeling. 

There were a few nagging situations where I was afraid to reveal myself, to show my vulnerability or risk a loved one’s disapproval, in order to express my experience and needs.  I knew that withholding this expression was blocking energy flow not just in the relationships but in my life overall.  These unspoken feelings subtly prevented me from being at ease with the person.  My old way of operating was to think through what I would say in advance.  The problem with this approach was that it was based on the past.  It didn’t leave room for me to be present for what I was feeling in the moment and it got in the way of true listening.  It also built up a big backlog of energy that, however softly delivered, had the potential to make the communication much more intense than it needed to be. 

As an empathic person since birth, I had a pattern of reading people’s receptivity, feeling it in my body, and pre-determining whether it was safe to share information.  It was a child’s survival mechanism that worked well before I had energy tools that created healthier boundaries.  I didn’t want to disturb the peace and therefore withheld my feelings if it seemed that the person would be upset.  Over a period of many months this year, opportunities presented themselves to practice a new way of communication.  I had to give up believing that I could determine the right thing to say beforehand.  I had to let go of the outcome.  I had to own my vulnerability and risk being rejected.  I had to accept that what I shared may not make the person feel good.  But most of all I had to re-train my inner child who was feeling for the other and denying my own feelings.  I had to give these intimate relationships a chance to meet the fully revealed me, rather than protect them from it.  It wasn’t easy but it was worth the effort. In every case it renewed our relationships, set them on more solid ground. 

My 2010 intention was born from desire to authentically relate with others.  I have found that true connection, seeing another and being seen, is the most fulfilling aspect in life.  We all yearn for this connection and unconsciously choose our actions based on our beliefs of how we can experience it.  We can deepen our intimacy with the one’s we love through letting go of the assumptions that we are doing someone a favor by protecting them from the truth of our experience. When our aim is to generate love we can’t fail.

Wholeheartedness

Natalie —  November 22, 2010 — Leave a comment

This video message on wholeheartedness, presented by Brené Brown, contains precious information regarding our human experience.  Proof that vulnerability or purposeful risk taking such as letting ourselves be “seen” authentically is the key to a peaceful existence from within!

The river of life is full of furious currents, meandering streams and quiet eddies.  Some of us are better at staying busy in the torrent, others prefer relaxing into the flow of everyday life, but we all struggle with moments of feeling stuck.  An eddy is a spot on the side of the river where the water gets caught in a loop, holding onto leaves and other debris.  A period in our life when we feel blocked from forward movement; it seems we keep having the same experience, one that is not fulfilling.  We may feel like some life circumstance is forcing us to wait and we have to endure, or that we’ve tried everything and we don’t know how to create a different experience.  This can trigger coping mechanisms, activities that help us check-out to escape from the awareness of our unhappiness.  We may watch too much TV, drink or generate some drama to distract us from the reality of what is occurring under the surface in our lives. 

We have the power within to break free from stuck patterns and return to the flow of the river.  While our outside circumstances may not change, we always have an option of shifting our response to them.  A few moments of gentle focus on the area in our life where we feel stuck can begin to create a current that pulls us back out into the stream.  This flow can be generated through a simple meditative exercise. 

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.  Imagine yourself with a solid connection between the base of your spine and the center of the earth.  Visualize the bubble of energy, three-feet-in-each-direction around your body, your aura, containing only your energy.  Let any energy that is not you release down the cord connecting you to the center of the earth.  From this point of owning your space, consider the area where you feel stuck and ask your intuitive guidance for insight into a next step.  It likely will be something small and seemingly in consequential.  Like the butterfly effect metaphor, change as gentle as the flap of butterfly wings can create a hurricane on the other side of the world. 

Intentional action is the key to creating larger transformation in our lives.  Facing our subconscious blocks and resistance is a very tricky topic. We are responsible for creating happiness in our own lives but that doesn’t mean we’ve had examples of how to do it.  We seek to form stronger access to our intuition to improve our awareness of what creates joy and a sense of flow in the river of our life.  The challenge we face in learning to commune with our inner truth is recognition of the times we have betrayed ourselves, staying stuck in the eddy by tuning out.  Tuning-in to our soul’s guidance invites new energy and positive flow.

The inner conflict that presents itself when we sense things are different than they appear triggers our desire to know what is true and what is false. As a survival tool, intuition is a way to measure our safety in any given situation. It is a language without words that only we understand because it is the language of our soul speaking to us. Our soul has many ways to communicate with us that we may not recognize. The awareness it provides goes beyond the senses of sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. Our intuitive truth accesses these bits of valuable information, processes them with all available conscious and subconscious reference points, then sends us a text message with a special ringtone. When we hear our soul’s message arrive, let’s hope it makes our heart as happy as the ringtone assigned to a new lover. It offers an endless fountain of energy directing our life.

If this is true, why don’t we automatically give our inner guidance the benefit of the doubt? There are many factors in our experience as a-soul-in-a-body that have formed us. We weigh the intuitive truth beside a long list of analytical data and social norms. There isn’t a person I know who hasn’t had a few experiences where they shared something they knew intuitively and were scorned, told they were wrong or ignored as if their information had no value. These types of situations, when repeated frequently enough or in a highly-charged situation, teach us to doubt our soul’s voice. If we can’t trust ourselves who can we trust? I can reference many past Self betrayals, times when I knew something but acted differently because I was either afraid of the perceptions of others, willing to pay the consequences for a short term pleasure or not willing to take the risk required.

It is courageous to follow our truth, particularly if it risks causing discomfort in others. The alternative option, compromising our intuition in a relationship or situation, is a painful Self betrayal. When we suppress our authentic Self to please others or protect our pride, we build up a backlog of toxic energy in our bodies. This isn’t to say we must always speak out when we see something, but when it affects us personally we need to act in alignment to maintain integrity with our Self. This is critical if we want our body and soul to stay healthy. Suppression of our authentic Self creates a sense of disconnect from what brings us true happiness. When we are in a state avoidance we tune-out to numb the pain of our inner conflict and the more often we tune-out the more backlog gets built up. Disconnected from our intuitive truth, we experience depression, anger or disappointment. One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is to honor our soul’s voice through actions that are in alignment. To do so, we must first learn to recognize when it is speaking to us. That voice will sound different to each individual. The more frequently we tune-in to it, the easier it is to recognize and understand.

The intention of our soul’s voice is to create joy for our body through choices that align with our truth. I challenge you to do more than listen to your most trusted advisor today, let it guide you.