Archives For energy hooks

Judgment is a form of control used to move someone onto our agenda.  The silent or embedded message it carries says, “Your choice is not acceptable to me, so choose something different that I’m comfortable with.”  Energetically, judgment is an attempt to control our power center, the area just above the bellybutton (3rd chakra).  It knocks us off-center to give the judge the power position.  Or it allows them to hook into our energy and redirect it to their agenda.

Noticing how we respond to the energy of control attempts from judgments, allows us to strengthen our power by neutralizing the energy rather than getting knocked off-center by it.  Some common responses to judgment are self-inquiry, seeking approval, self-sabotage or over achievement.

Self-Inquiry – The natural first response to someone’s judgment is self-inquiry.  Is it true?  Depending on the relationship we have with the person, we may just assume it’s true. This can translate into thinking something is wrong with us.  Alternately it may be an opportunity to self-reflect, look at a dark corner in ourselves and decide if we want to keep feeding that aspect.  The key indicator here is what our body is telling us, do we feel out-of sorts; is our stomach a bit anxious?  Our body is our intuitions first barometer.

Seeking Approval – The most powerful people in our lives are the ones we love, second only to those in authority positions.  When we love someone it is natural to want their approval.  Even when we are just getting to know a person, we are determining their response to us and would like to be seen favorably.  Judgment comes from unconscious or conscious beliefs that require change of another’s behavior to in order for them to receive approval.  On the spirit level, when we alter what we know to be our truth in order to seek the approval of another, we are depleting our energy, giving a piece of ourselves away.  This is the energetic hook that can become a chronic vampire of our life-force if we continue to deny our truth in order to please others.

Self-Sabotage – Feeling judged can cause us to feel angry.  This anger is intended to show us our boundaries have been violated.  When we are act from the anger we respond one of two ways, self-sabotage or over compensation.  We may consciously say, “they are wrong.” But unconsciously believe the judgment and use our anger to propel us to some self-sabotaging behavior that proves them right.  This is an extreme example of judgment throwing us off-center.

Over Achievement – Alternately we may feel the need to prove the judge wrong by excelling our efforts toward success in the direction we’ve chosen.  This can be a form of competition energy or rebellion against the control. We have to demonstrate that we didn’t deserve the judgment through our success.

When we let judgment be the issue of the person judging by staying in our center, we retain our power.  We don’t let the outside energy influence us to think less of our self, seek approval, self-sabotage, over achieve or throw us out of balance.  We continue to be our true self rather than react in one of the other ways.

Reaction to judgment can actually be a catalyst that generates new experiences that we learn from whether through success or failure.  But if we change our course to respond to another’s judgment we are still changing course, which means we are on a less direct path to the life we want.

Being aware of the energy behind judgment and practicing mediation to stay in alignment with our truth, helps us strengthen our ability to remain centered in the face of judgment and control.  Then we are able to use the emotions we feel in response to being judged such as anger or uncertainty to set healthy boundaries, heal aspects of our self and even catapult us in a direction of our choosing.

The feeling of scarcity hooks us with a belief that there’s not enough, time, energy or resources to do what needs to be done.  We feel behind. If we crank up our adrenaline to meet the demand, later we feel depleted, because we forced our actions into an agenda that was unnatural.  We give too much to work or a relationship, failing to care for our self. Inner-peace is impossible when we believe that there is not enough time or energy.  In this mindset we are harried with constant striving to fit as much as we possibly can into every day.

The lie is that there is a limited supply of what we need to feel at peace… time, energy, support, tools, love.  We have all the energy we need as long as we take care of our self with: good sleep, healthy food, exercise and meditation.   When we get hooked by scarcity thinking our entire experience is thrown off balance. We lose our ability to set good boundaries with a relationship or job because our attention is focused on the lack, the energetic hook that there is a need much greater than we can fulfill; a vacuum of energy that tugs on our belly (third chakra), a magnetic force pulling us to give more and more.

There are two practices that help us reclaim our sense of having enough time and energy. The first is maintaining our grounding.  When we’re grounded in our own energy, we can recognize the outside demand. From a centered place, we are empowered to choose how much to contribute of our life-force.  We have the clarity that we’re not responsible to rescue the situation. We see our self as a contributor and know that doing our part is enough. And we succeed in our part, regardless of what the experience is for anyone else.

A mediation tool for grounding starts with visualization of a line of energy connecting the tip of our tailbone (first chakra) to the center of the earth. That grounding cord can be seen as a waterfall, tree trunk, animal tail, or beam of light; whatever feels solid for you. Intend that the only energy in that grounding cord is your energy and kick out anyone else who is hitchhiking in your grounding space.

The second practice is to shift the energy just above your belly button (third chakra) to neutrality.  That place where you get gut feelings that signal something is amiss.  The solar plexus is where we hold our personal power, thus where demand energy hooks into our space.  It is where we feel anxiety for not having enough time that drains our energy.  Visualize the space in your belly as a crystal ball full of only your energy.  Notice that it is neutral, clear or see-through. Because it’s clear as glass, when others try to tap into your energy with demands, there’s nothing for them to attach to. Neutrality allows you respond to others needs without over giving.

Staying centered in our power rather than allowing the demands in our environment to pull us out of alignment requires practice. Choosing to believe that there is plenty of time and energy is essential if we strive to create a consistent experience of inner-peace.  By eliminating the hook of scarcity energy we can be inspired by our work, relationships, environment, home and options. We can to show-up for all of it with an authentic belief that the best possible outcome is happening and we don’t need to know what that is or how it’s going to happen. We trust it is.

*Note: Reflections inspired by the book called Sacred Economics. It makes the point that our monetary system is based on scarcity, the manmade belief in limited supply of money.

Some people fuel their life by tapping into the energy of others.  The most skilled energy consumers find a way to hook into us and keep us hanging.  Part of their pattern is use of a compelling promise that goes unfulfilled. It is sticky to keep us from detaching from them.  This type of draining relationship connection feeds on our deepest desires, making it particularly hard to reclaim our power.

We may notice the relationship has us waiting on a future return but subconsciously feel there’s a payoff in it for us, the fulfillment of something we need.  Our desire may be the love they offer, the purpose we feel from helping them, a sense of being valued, or the influence we may gain from connection to their projected power. I call this the hook and retreat energy dynamic. 

This friend, lover or family member frequently says or insinuates the value of staying connected to them is in a future promise.  “When I do ______, you’re going to get ______.”  When I make a lot of money, when I become famous, when I get a divorce, when I get promoted, when I die, when I finish whatever I am doing that requires me to ask you for more energy than I give you in return.  Unfortunately the time of rebalancing rarely comes.  The energy consumer hasn’t figured out how to generate their own power so they seek it in outside sources.  If they do finally achieve a goal, there’s no lasting payout for us because their target changes to a future date.

We all have been on both sides of energy exchange; no one is immune to moments of giving or taking out-of-balance. But when we experience hook and retreat, our body will let us know through a sensation of tightness or queasiness in our belly.  This is the location of our third chakra, where we activate our personal power.  The body notices that our power is being redirected.  The result is less energy for our own creations and a sense of being off-balance. 

The hook and retreat relationship has moments that make us feel crazy.  The words, actions and energy of the energy consumer are questionable enough to evoke a sense of uncertainty.  Our intuition is trying to make us aware of the deception.  The energy consumer always believes their own story so they don’t realize they are being deceptive.  The imbalance created from the cord into our core makes it hard to see clearly and remove ourselves or renegotiate the relationship. 

Here are a couple of tools you can practice to reclaim your power when you have been hooked:

  • Clean out your 3rd chakra.  Visualize a gold rose and see it mopping out that belly area front to back, soaking up all the energy that is not yours in that space.  Imagine the rose flying somewhere far away and dissipating.  Call your energy back to you from any person you’ve given your power away to and fill the empty space with your own vibration.
  • Visualize a Protection Rose in the space between you and this person.  The intention of the rose is to filter out any attempts to attach to your energy.

The stealth aspect of this behavioral pattern is how it taps into our subconscious desire.  We are seduced by a subversive agenda.  The truth that we are never going to get the need met is hard to see. It feels possible and it feels strong.   By reclaiming our energy space we have the opportunity to see the relationship more clearly and gain energy to use for our own creations.