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judgment

How Do You Respond to Judgment?

Natalie —  March 20, 2013 — 2 Comments

Judgment is a form of control used to move someone onto our agenda.  The silent or embedded message it carries says, “Your choice is not acceptable to me, so choose something different that I’m comfortable with.”  Energetically, judgment is an attempt to control our power center, the area just above the bellybutton (3rd chakra).  It knocks us off-center to give the judge the power position.  Or it allows them to hook into our energy and redirect it to their agenda.

Noticing how we respond to the energy of control attempts from judgments, allows us to strengthen our power by neutralizing the energy rather than getting knocked off-center by it.  Some common responses to judgment are self-inquiry, seeking approval, self-sabotage or over achievement.

Self-Inquiry – The natural first response to someone’s judgment is self-inquiry.  Is it true?  Depending on the relationship we have with the person, we may just assume it’s true. This can translate into thinking something is wrong with us.  Alternately it may be an opportunity to self-reflect, look at a dark corner in ourselves and decide if we want to keep feeding that aspect.  The key indicator here is what our body is telling us, do we feel out-of sorts; is our stomach a bit anxious?  Our body is our intuitions first barometer.

Seeking Approval – The most powerful people in our lives are the ones we love, second only to those in authority positions.  When we love someone it is natural to want their approval.  Even when we are just getting to know a person, we are determining their response to us and would like to be seen favorably.  Judgment comes from unconscious or conscious beliefs that require change of another’s behavior to in order for them to receive approval.  On the spirit level, when we alter what we know to be our truth in order to seek the approval of another, we are depleting our energy, giving a piece of ourselves away.  This is the energetic hook that can become a chronic vampire of our life-force if we continue to deny our truth in order to please others.

Self-Sabotage – Feeling judged can cause us to feel angry.  This anger is intended to show us our boundaries have been violated.  When we are act from the anger we respond one of two ways, self-sabotage or over compensation.  We may consciously say, “they are wrong.” But unconsciously believe the judgment and use our anger to propel us to some self-sabotaging behavior that proves them right.  This is an extreme example of judgment throwing us off-center.

Over Achievement – Alternately we may feel the need to prove the judge wrong by excelling our efforts toward success in the direction we’ve chosen.  This can be a form of competition energy or rebellion against the control. We have to demonstrate that we didn’t deserve the judgment through our success.

When we let judgment be the issue of the person judging by staying in our center, we retain our power.  We don’t let the outside energy influence us to think less of our self, seek approval, self-sabotage, over achieve or throw us out of balance.  We continue to be our true self rather than react in one of the other ways.

Reaction to judgment can actually be a catalyst that generates new experiences that we learn from whether through success or failure.  But if we change our course to respond to another’s judgment we are still changing course, which means we are on a less direct path to the life we want.

Being aware of the energy behind judgment and practicing mediation to stay in alignment with our truth, helps us strengthen our ability to remain centered in the face of judgment and control.  Then we are able to use the emotions we feel in response to being judged such as anger or uncertainty to set healthy boundaries, heal aspects of our self and even catapult us in a direction of our choosing.

In relationship , , , , , , , ,
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Living with Ease and Flow vs Disappointment and Lack

Natalie —  November 30, 2012 — Leave a comment

What would it take for you to feel satisfied with your life? Fulfilled, as if everything that was happening was as you desired?  A different job, a new or changed relationship, different living arrangement, better health, more money, a vacation, closer friendships, less work, time to follow your creative passion?  The aspects of our lives that we feel at peace with don’t have to be perfect, but flow with ease. We don’t dwell on them, because for the most part we are getting what we want.

The areas of our life that aren’t fulfilling our needs are what we struggle with and notice.  They translate to the false belief that something outside of us needs to change in order for us to feel at peace.  When we believe this, we are giving our power away.  There is an energy drain precipitated by cycles of thought, feeling and behavior that reinforce staying unsatisfied.

I think of Homer Simpson holding onto the soda can he’s been trying to steal from a vending machine, while emergency workers go to great lengths to try to extract his arm.  We hold onto a certain vision of what we need to feel satisfied in a job, lover, etc.  When Homer finally realizes, he doesn’t want the soda bad enough to give up other things in his life, he let’s go of the can and pulls his arm out of the machine. He’d created his own experience of being stuck in the machine by holding on to something that wasn’t designed to be his, at least not without him being in alignment with the system that would allow it to be his.

Everything we experience is designed to show us where we are in alignment or not.  If we are attached to specific circumstances we “must have” to feel happy, a deeper look inside our Self will reveal what is out of alignment in our life, the misalignment creating a sense of lack.  Are we making a decision based on financial fear to work too much or at a job we don’t like which limits our time and energy to create in other areas?  Are we using busyness or addictions as a form of avoidance, so we won’t have to address the relationships in our life that are uncomfortable?  Are we blaming work or a relationship for our suffering and disappointment?  As long as we hold on to the belief that our happiness is contingent upon someone or something changing we will be unfulfilled and not find inner-peace.

Try this simple meditation to assist in creating a sense of peace in an area where you feel dissatisfied.

  • Begin in a simple silent meditation state (see my post a Meditative Path to Clarity).
  • Visualize a bubble floating in front of you to represent the area in your life where you feel dissatisfied unfulfilled or stuck.
  • See a rose outside of that bubble, like a magic wand, it is there to draw out any energy from that bubble that is negative or fear based.
  • Watch as energies such as control, punishment, anger, anxiety, disappointment, fear, guilt, and shame move out of the bubble into the rose.
  • Once the bubble is free of these blocks, send the rose to a faraway place in your mind’s eye and let it dissolve with the intention that it causes no harm.
  • Now imaging a golden ball of light hovering above the bubble that represents the area of your focus for the mediation.  Fill that ball of light with all of the positive vibrations (emotional energies) you would like to experience in this area of your life, such as: ease, grace, pleasure, fulfillment, joy, inspiration, flow, playfulness, support.
  • When the golden ball of light is full of good vibrations drop it into your bubble and see them become one.

You have shifted the focus in this area of your life from disappointment and lack to ease and flow with your intentions.  Our habits pull us quickly back into old thought patterns, so revisit this visualization as often as you find necessary.

Personally, I find it a very challenging practice to let go of certain desires happening in the timeframe that I want.  But whenever I hold onto the yearning for a different experience than “what is” I am less satisfied with my life.  This doesn’t mean that I give up on my hearts desires and dreams.  What it does mean is that I acknowledge that what I am experiencing right now is exactly as it should be.  As difficult as it may feel, I trust that what I am experiencing is the universe speaking to me, to show me how I can get into greater alignment with myself.

In self-awareness , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Making Graceful Turns – What Snow Riding Teaches Us About Life

Natalie —  February 22, 2012 — Leave a comment

Life throws us obstacles, bumps that come out of nowhere.  The goal is to stay loose enough to adjust to the changes and centered enough to keep in control when the shit hits the fan.  When the ground beneath us moves so fast that it’s hard to focus, we have to tune into our intuitive knowing, stay in that controlled out-of-control state.

Skiing and snowboarding teach us this flexibility.  If you want to enjoy your journey downhill there’s no option but to be 100% present; aligned body-mind-spirit.  Adjust to the shifting terrain, in the moment.

Our core (third chakra), center-of-gravity is in the bliss zone, balanced with velocity, snow and the contour of the mountain.  When another skier crosses our path, a mogul, rock or tree faces us, we turn but we don’t turn permanently away from our intended path.  We take a turn that avoids collision and another turn that returns us to our direction of choice.

In the moment we may recognize that our chosen path is not taking us in a direction that is going to bring us pleasure, success or good circumstances, so we permanently redirect our course. If we don’t foresee the need to turn or the obstacle throws us out of our center we’ll crash.  Varying degrees of wipeout occur, depending on how tuned-in we were to our body and our surroundings.

We make graceful turns when we are centered in our truth, tuned-in to our surroundings and willing to adjust course when the flow points us in a different direction.  Practicing mediation tools each day gives us this core strength when faced with any challenge. To do this we:

  • Take the time early in the day to clear our mind (sixth chakra) of the past and other people’s energy or agendas.
  • Ground (root chakra) our energy in the present day.
  • Call any of our scattered energy back to ourselves and visualized it filling every cell of our body.

Being grounded and saturated in our true essence is the bliss zone.  It allows us to be present for the obstacles in life and to navigate them without feeling as much trauma. It feels aligned, peaceful and full of possibility.  Taking responsibility for our life by owning our energy space teaches us that we can keep our focus yet be flexible enough to make graceful turns.

In self-awareness, the body, tools , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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The Light and Dark Side of Control

Natalie —  July 28, 2011 — 3 Comments

The word control has a bad rap.  It’s associated with being anal, uptight, rigid, difficult and domineering.  There are ways that control supports our health and others that block us from having joy.  The two primary faces of control that we look at as we cultivate our intuitive awareness are:

1)      Control that sets a clear boundary for our energetic space

2)      Control of others, an intrusion into their energetic space

This first type of control helps us maintain “seniority” or “authority” over our energetic space.  In activating this type of control we claim our true power to be the one calling the shots regarding our soul’s experience in this body.  When we don’t exercise seniority in our psychic space (sixth chakra, center of head), other people’s energy and the energy of spiritual entities (beings without a body) can get in our aura and alter our emotions and perspective.

The presence of another’s energy in our psychic space, alters our clarity and drains our power.  One indicator that someone’s energy is in your space, versus your own thoughts seeking them out, is a thought of them that pops into your mind while you are doing another focused activity.  For example your mind is engaged in a project or conversation, thinking a specific line of thought then – bink – out of nowhere their name or a thought of them interrupts your thoughts. 

It does no harm to move their energy out of your psychic space and give yourself room.  This can be done using the simple visualization of their energy moving out of the center of your head into a bubble and sending that bubble of their energy back to them.

The second type of control has earned its bad rap, yet it is generated from our human nature, so no one is immune.  From the earliest age we develop abilities to control and manipulate others to get our needs met.  It’s a survival skill and comes from a place of innocence.  As we grow-up, especially if our basic needs are not met, these skills may evolve into unhealthy controlling behaviors that intrude in other people’s energetic space.  Often they show up in the guise of trying to help someone, provide advice or fix something we perceive is broken in them.  Whenever the attempt to heal or help is engaged without the permission and consent of the person you have energy on, it becomes controlling and has negative results.

Most controlling behavior is subconscious. The controller perceives they are doing something positive to help the person they are trying to control.  But it doesn’t feel that way to the person being controlled.  Even if it sounds good, it still feels sticky-icky when help comes from a place of control.  And the deeper motivation behind it is always to make the person controlling feel better.  The out-of-control healer (OUCH) intrudes into our psychic space. This disrupts our clarity and undermines our personal power.  

As an exercise in consciousness we can use our intuition to notice when we are pushing an agenda, not staying neutral to someone’s choices or pain. This usually results in wanting to fix their problem or take away their suffering.  These are the points where we are most likely to invade their space with unwanted help, trying to make ourselves feel more comfortable by controlling our perception of their pain.

To develop our intuitive awareness we need to heal our use of control energy.  This happens when we exercise seniority over our space and become conscious of our controlling behavior, shifting into a place of neutrality around another’s choices and experiences.  Then we can truly help them in ways that honor their own spiritual seniority.

In tools , , , , , , , ,
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5 Ways Snowboarding Exercises Your Intuition

Natalie —  March 9, 2011 — Leave a comment

Snowboarding and skiing exercise the same muscles we use to access our intuition.  Here are five ways that they can contribute clarity to other areas of your life:   

1) Align with Your YES

Flying downhill at high speed with gravity as your motor, split second decisions are your power.  Every turn, every choice of direction is an inner yes that aligns you with the mountain and puts a smile on your face.  When your choices align with your yes they bring pleasure.  Your intuition is validated and responds by informing you with increasing speed and accuracy.

2) Wipeout Prevention

To survive and stay injury free skiing you must pay attention and be present in the moment.  The consequence of having your mind on anything but what you are doing is painful. The same is true when acting on your inner-guidance.  Being distracted muddles your perception, often with painful results.

3) Give Your Analyzer a Break

Snowboarding connects you with your inner child.  As a kid you didn’t spend so much time analyzing life. You were curious, playful and stuck your tongue out to taste the falling snow.   Trusting your intuition requires that you approach life with child like openness to non-linear answers.

4) Read Your Surroundings

Navigation of the slopes includes maintaining awareness of the skiers around you.  A portion of your consciousness is engaged in quickly reading what those in your path will do next to prevent collision.  Your intuitive guidance is meant to help you navigate life through perception of how those around you are behaving. Then direct your life in a way that stays on course and avoids negative impact.

5) Move Forward in Whiteout Conditions

When there’s poor visibility, flat light or blizzard conditions, the way to stay injury free is to relax your body, trust its perception and response to the terrain.  If you try to be in physical control rather than flow, your body will be stiff when you hit a bump, launching you in an unintended direction.  When you strain to see what is not ready to be seen you meet whiteout conditions.  Relaxation of control is required for supportive information to flow.

So get out there and rip it up! Your body and soul will thank you.

In exploration, the body , , , , , , , , , ,
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Thinking Yourself Into a Corner

Natalie —  January 6, 2011 — Leave a comment

Bisbee at the ranch

Sometimes my mind gets caught up in a question that I don’t have the answer for, it circles and circles the question seeking relief.  As I was driving to Arizona from Colorado a couple of weeks ago, I had a lot of time to ponder a question that was stumping me.  While struggling to find the answer, I became aware of my unconscious belief that God had the right answer and wanted me to act in accordance with it.  I could not see past whatever blocks were in my mind to a clear choice for myself.  I started to get frustrated.

At this point of frustration, I was reminded of something I’d seen my dog Bisbee do shortly after I adopted him as a two-year old.  He’s a border collie programmed through generations of breeding to herd.  He wants to roundup everything that moves, to keep it in control so he can feel at peace.  On several of Bisbee’s first trips in a car he got manic about herding the cars that were driving by.  He wanted to chase them so bad that more than once he wedged himself between the driver’s seat and the door with his nose firmly pressed in the crack of the dashboard and windshield, every muscle in his body rigid.  I felt like Bisbee in my desire to have an answer to the question.  My analytical mind was locked into the belief that there was a right answer with intense focus on trying to figure it out.  I experienced the sensation of being pressed into a corner.  I wasn’t getting anywhere.  Finally, it dawned on me that there was no right answer.  This question I was asking was really not about right or wrong, good or bad, but simply a choice regarding what I wanted to create with my life.  The Universe or God didn’t really care whether I went this way or that.  Either path would result in a set of experiences that would be my life.

As I drove through the wide open blue skies of New Mexico, I remembered the words of my spiritual mentor, Dawn Eagle Woman “hold a spacious field.” I started visualizing an expansive amount of space around my question and the people that would be impacted by my choice.  I looked from horizon to horizon, consciously offering the question and each person involved as much room as I could physically see in the sky.  An expansiveness that wasn’t attached to an answer but simply let the question exist. 

When the analytical mind kicks in to respond to questions of the heart, it can push us into a corner and imprison us with the effort of trying to figure it out when there is no right answer.  We may choose to act based on our vision of the life we are interested in experiencing or wait for the moment when we encounter an option that we easily respond to with yes.  Engaging the mind in these situations is simply trying to control the unknown, a fruitless endeavor.  Our intuition is present to guide us in questions of the heart and teach us the gentler path of freedom and trust in the natural flow.

In intuition, self-awareness , , , , , , , , ,
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Wholeheartedness

Natalie —  November 22, 2010 — Leave a comment

This video message on wholeheartedness, presented by Brené Brown, contains precious information regarding our human experience.  Proof that vulnerability or purposeful risk taking such as letting ourselves be “seen” authentically is the key to a peaceful existence from within!

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Perfect Pictures

Natalie —  September 30, 2010 — Leave a comment

When reading the energetic body for clients I look at areas where they want to create change and positive shifts in their life.  I consistently see perfectionism rear its judgmental head to block joy and love that has manifested in people’s lives.  The energy of perfection and its companion control are two of the most pervasive human challenges.  Our life experiences, family, teachers and peers help us form pictures of what we can expect in response to particular situations.  These pictures can help us manifest desired outcomes and protect us from harm.  But if the picture is based on information that is not true for us, such as a response to someone else’s fears or a past trauma of our own, it can create repeated negative experiences. 

When seeing psychically these pictures are presented to me as associated to one or more of the chakras.  They may interfere with our sense of safety, the ability to create and communicate, our sexual energy, personal power, affinity for others and our self, our analytical and intuitive capacity or connection with Spirit.  See my chakra definitions at this link.  Pictures that are out-of-date or invalid can get stuck in our space and subconsciously contribute to generating experiences that are not in our highest good.  The story behind any perfect picture goes something like this, “When I have the right job, partner, enough money or time, THEN I will be happy.”  Another form the perfect picture takes is, “When I lose twenty pounds, get my house tidy or finish my degree, THEN I will be ready to meet Mr. or Ms. Right.” These pictures keep us waiting for perfect circumstances in order to HAVE what we desire. 

When we grow up in an environment of criticism we develop an inner voice that is riddled with self-judge.  This critical voice is constantly seeking an impossible status of perfection, feeding the concept that we have to be in control to be worthy of love.  The perfect picture energy blocks us from truly receiving positive things we have manifested in our relationships and environment.  If you notice yourself afraid to “get your hopes up,” in self-sabotage or judgment, invalidating yourself or an experience you have created, most likely there is a perfect picture at work.  The first step toward freeing your spirit from the bondage of perfection is to acknowledge it.  Take the opportunity to visualize a bubble about five-feet in front of you and allow that bubble to collect up all of the perfection energy in your body and mind, drawing it out of your space.  Imagine the bubble floating off to a distant mountain where it pops and dissipates.  Then see a bubble above your head filled with love and the vibration of your own essence.  Call your energy home to you from wherever you’ve left it.  Let that bubble full of golden light slide down into your physical and energetic body filling up any areas where the perfectionism was moved out.  Breathe in the expansion of greater self-love in your body.

In intuition, self-awareness , , , ,
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Shame Detox

Natalie —  September 8, 2010 — Leave a comment

Shame is powerful and toxic.  It is a form of control through judgment, a way of dictating what makes us worthy of love.  Shame seeks to alter our behaviors through sending an energy current into our aura that invokes a sense of rejection, punishment, dirtiness, imperfection, being wrong, having shown an ugly face of humanity, crossed a taboo, revealed a secret, been inappropriate or weak to our animal instinct rather than shown civility.  It may even suggest that our physical attributes or character traits are flawed, too fully revealed for the comfort of another.  We can accept the shame into our sense of self, engage in a power struggle in order to defend ourselves or learn to be neutral to outside judgment. 

When we feel shame for our words, actions or physical body it is a form of poison.  The energy enters our aura with a signature of self-rejection, even self-hatred.  Our physical and spiritual bodies absorb the toxic message and move farther away from peace.  In balance, our inner guidance is meant to be finely tuned to the needs of our authentic self.  When we hide or suppress our authentic self we detach from our intuitive truth.  Then our physical body responds chemically to the sensations of stress, tension and fear that are created in response to the toxicity of shame.  On both the physical and mental level, barriers are built to hearing our spiritual guidance.

Shame is commonly used to rear children to fit into social structure and invoke a sense of morality.  This programs us to feel guilt for thoughts or activities we were taught are shameful, even when there is not another person present to judge us.  Abusers use shame to emotionally manipulate their victims.  They claim betrayal if the victim reveals the abuse; energetically turning it around to make the victim feel responsible for their abuse.  Use of shame and guilt to control human behavior wounds and suppresses the light aspects of our nature along with the shadow aspects.  A healthier way to establish a sense of moral guidance or socially appropriate boundaries is to acknowledge the behavior or words as valid while expressing that they make the witness or recipient feel uncomfortable.  In this scenario, the person responding takes responsibility for their own feelings and communicates their boundaries without punishing the other or trying to control the situation.

When presented with the energy of shame as a conscious adult, its impact depends on the person delivering it and whether it hits us where we have a prior wound from shame.  It may feel good to openly communicate that whatever is being judged in us is perfectly acceptable.  But we also have the option to go beyond sending a return-volley of energy in the power struggle.  When we heal wounds from past shame, we can become unscathed by other’s judgments and even find humor in their attempts to control. We heal these wounds through self-love and the help of others experienced in shifting outdated behaviors and belief systems.  Clairvoyant reading is one path to identify the wounds from shame and heal our energetic body from layers of shame based suppression.  Ultimately when we detoxify our lives we are healing future generations and stopping the cycle of abuse.

In communication, intuition, relationship, self-awareness, the body , , , ,
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Are You Being Bullied?

Natalie —  August 18, 2010 — Leave a comment

We assume that bullying stops when we grow up and leave the playground of our childhood but it just changes form.  Children grow into adults that learn ways to get what they want through other means.  On the healthy side of development we take care of our own needs or ask others when we need something from them.   Overt bullying is not tolerated among adults.  Yet if a person doesn’t learn how to communicate their needs in a healthy way, they often continue to push their agenda on others in more manipulative ways.  Sometimes this looks like a co-worker, friend or spouse who gives you options regarding a decision. When you choose an option that is not the one they want you to choose, suddenly it is no longer an option.  You have no real choice.  Control energy can be very subtle, such as someone telling you what you are going to do, rather than asking you what you are going to do.  Or hijacking your time through pressuring you to do something they want you to do.

In the process of Self development, trying to control a situation is one way we test our boundaries with others and determine what is required to make things happen that we want to see happen in life.  Children need good examples from adults who respect each other’s time, needs and energetic space.  Adults who take care of the child’s needs and teach them healthy ways of getting their needs met.  Behind all bulling behavior is a person’s fear that their needs will not be met. 

When a person is bullying, you may sense their energy in your third chakra (solar plexus) personal power space.  The control energy is trying to tap into your power center and redirect it for their use.  It creates a sense of being pulled off balance.  One part of us considers going along with their agenda to gain approval, even when we know the path is not right for us.  Another aspect of us gets angry at having our needs and boundaries disregarded.  This can activate resistance or conflict in the relationship.  We don’t always have the desire or option to end the relationship with a person who bullies us, such as a family member or co-worker.  In these situations we can use our energy awareness and practice self-care. 

Here are two tools for preventing the bully energy sent your way from sticking to you:

1)       Body of Glass – Imagine your body as invisible like Wonder Woman’s airplane.  The control energy sent toward your body goes right through and has nothing to attach itself to.

2)      Protection Rose – Visualize a rose that has a blossom as large as a stop sign and a thick stem that goes all the way to the center of the earth.  Intend that this protection rose stands between you and filter out any control energy.

These tools will help you hold your center and feel unscathed by outside attempts to redirect your energy.  With a clear mind and neutrality you can choose the path that is right for you.

In intuition, senses , , , , , ,
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