Archives For change

There are junctures in life, transitions that are a natural part of development or made by choice, that indicate a soul agreement change is an order. A parent-child relationship evolves to parent-adult, when the child grows up.  Commitments made in a marriage end at the death of one partner or with a divorce. As I covered in an earlier blog post, the soul agreement goes beyond the psychological shift and change of physical circumstance.

In cases where there isn’t a clear relationship transition, it’s not as obvious that an update is in order. In a marriage of 30 years the agreement isn’t the same as it was at 5 years of marriage, yet aspects can be stuck in the original agreement.  Here are a few clues to help you identify where you can benefit from changing your soul agreements.

When you repeatedly think about a past experience or have a mental conversation with a person who is not present.  This is a person or situation with which you need to update your agreement.  The conversation in your head kicks-in frequently when you relax and are not focused on a task.  And sometimes it even disrupts something else you were thinking about or doing.

If you feel frustrated, dis-empowered or “off” from the persistent distracting thoughts, you might find yourself pushing the person away in your mind saying, “Leave me alone!”  The disruption has purpose. It’s happening to let you know something is unresolved, that you need to release, shift or directly communicate in a relationship.

Another way you can know a relationship soul agreement needs to be updated is when you feel angry about expectations from a person that you don’t want to be required to fulfill. This anger helps you notice that you need to revise your boundary in the agreement. When an agreement is in need of update it often has low vibration emotions attached to it like guilt, shame, abandonment, judgment or control.

For example, you feel guilty for saying “no” to someone when they ask you to do something you’ve always done for them at work, like schedule a meeting for a group of people. Your job has changed and you are no longer in the position where that is part of the agreement. You need to set a new boundary and update your agreement to match the new role so others don’t continue to expect you to do things that were part of your old position.

In another case, you may have an agreement to listen to a friend when they have had a bad experience. They want to dump their pain or anger to feel better. And you’ve signed up through your choice to listen. You may have a sense of guilt for abandoning them in their suffering if you don’t listen. Yet every time you have a conversation where you get emotionally dumped on, you feel worse and your friend feels better. They may even thank you for being a good friend. The benefit of changing or ending an agreement like this is that it allows you to have your own experience, rather than getting thrown “off” or drained by their emotions and upset.

In summary, the primary signals that a relationship soul agreement is ready to be updated:

  • A relationship has clearly changed (end of job, romantic partnership)
  • A relationship has changed over time but the person is not honoring the change
  • A relationship drains your energy
  • You experience distracting or dis-empowering thoughts of the person
  • You feel negative emotions about something that used to be okay for you in a relationship

A trapeze artist must let go of one bar to grasp the next, allowing the momentum to carry her to her destination. She trusts that the brief moment between attachment to one bar and firmly holding the next will not result in a fall to injury or death.  Whenever we let go of one belief, one aspect of routine or commitment in our life en route to a new experience, we have to cross a moment where there is nothing to hold on to.

It’s a moment of faith. We know where we’ve been. We know it’s time to let go and change. We see what we are willing to try next, our next step, even if we aren’t sure what it means or where it is taking us. When momentum and synchronicity of life circumstances is on our side we may not notice the large cavern below as we swing to our next possibility.

The familiarity of the old way of being can have us stuck. It’s easier to keep doing what we’ve done rather than take the risk of change. Over time we may miss multiple opportunities to make a change. We elect to wait a little longer, stick with the familiar because it seems less stressful, or just more comfortable.  The trapeze we are swinging on loses contact with the flow and we aren’t getting close enough to the opportunity for change that arrives.

We see it but it’s out of reach. Or we stop seeing new opportunities and are hanging there in that familiar spot, with the belief or in the relationship or with the job we’ve been at for a long time, yet we know it’s a dead end. It’s not where we are supposed to be.  We’re stuck.  We are a sailboat in windless waters.

How do we let go of whatever we are stuck on, the aspect of our lives asking for change that we’ve avoided?  How do we create momentum, movement, and wind in our sails?  We move energy.

Moving energy is pretty simple.  One way to do it is through intentional visualization, eyes closed or open, we set an intention to move the stuck energy out of our space.  I do this by visualizing a rose in front of me that is vacuuming out the stuck energy from my aura.  It doesn’t need to be any more specific than that.

If you want to get specific  you can watch various unhelpful energies move out of your aura and into the rose such as fear, anxiety, uncertainty, disappointment, self-judgment, disapproval from loved ones or possible failure.   When the rose is full of the energy you have moved out of your space, imagine it going to a faraway place, a mountain top or desert. See it dissolve, recycling the energy into the neutrality of the universe.

Moving stuck energy out of our aura creates momentum and room for the new possibility. The more energy we let go of that isn’t serving us, the more wind is available to fill our sails and carry us to our next destination.

NASA Photo Eagle Nebula

Our inner-guidance helps us see opportunities to evolve and grow when an area of our life is outdated or out-of-alignment. We feel inclined to make a change, move to a new town, quit a job, begin or end a relationship.   Intuition leads us to override our reptilian brain; the part of us that is determined to do it the old way and put perceived safety first.

We naturally return to what’s familiar, have a rhythm, form habits, routines, get into ruts.  Doing it the usual way is easier than figuring out a new way, even if the usual way is mediocre and slightly irritating. When we avoid change we feel the energy drain associated with our resistance.

Each time we’re faced with a transition, an opportunity to change our life, it involves risk. That risk is where our intuition helps us override the tendency to seek safety in the familiar.  Yet, to take risks that are wise and purposeful we have to know we are in alignment.

Alignment means that our actions are congruent with our truth, the yes that lives within our individual soul.  Our intuition nudges us to stay in alignment, giving us opportunity after opportunity to make small shifts. It asks us to take notice, listen closely to what a stranger is talking about, take a different route home from work, call someone when were not sure why to discover they tell us something we needed to know. That inner voice will give us our yes and our no if we listen… oh this feels right, I’m at ease… oh that feels off, my stomach is tight when I think of it.

Living out-of-alignment, like a pebble in the shoe, progressively produces larger consequences: a blister, favoring the foot, the limping turns into back tension, that causes discomfort sleeping, then getting worn down from lack of sleep and catching a virus.  How much irritation must the pebble cause to get our attention?  What is speaking to us to change: the lack of integrity in our work environment, the evolving culture of our neighborhood that no longer fits us, social activities that no longer satisfy or repeated conflicts in a relationship?  Will we make a change before the old way of being causes excessive suffering?

If we ignore the quiet voice of our inner-guidance for too long the small choices that take us out of alignment start adding up and realignment requires a larger risk.  A commitment to living in congruence with our inner-guidance, responding to the simple gentler shifts as the opportunities present themselves, make for a much more enjoyable life.  Our power to stay in alignment is in the center of our head, our intuition. Listen to it and let it inform your choices.

Identity Shifts

Natalie —  August 10, 2011 — 1 Comment

Each time we take on a new role or let go of a familiar one, our identity goes through a transition.  We may not know how to be, or what to tell people when they ask us questions that we had an easy answer for in the past, like “What do you do?” Letting parts of us that we valued fall away once they are no longer “in the present” feels hard. They served us well and there is comfort in familiarity.  It’s easier to stay attached to these old aspects of our Self because of the way they made us feel in the past. But once we set them free the “lightness of being” we find is often so much better.

It’s risky to let go of an old identity to make room for a new identity that is not fully formed.  There are unknown details to be worked out. It requires experimentation and exposure to the new aspects of our self that come to the forefront.  We may not be sure we’ll really like the new role or stick with it for long.  It may trigger the fear of loss of acceptance from relationships or communities that were formed based on our old identity.  Will the friendships follow us on our new journey into parenthood or move across country?

Some aspects of our identity are formed by the responses we receive from others.  We subconsciously agree with how they “see us” and support it through how we represent ourselves to them.  This is particularly true with family. Parents want their children to be a certain way, to help the child be successful in life and to make the parent feel more comfortable. These expectations create a silent requirement to perform in a way that meets the approval of our caretakers, molding our public-facing identity. The identity we show others is often not the essence of our true Self. It is a safer projection of what we feel comfortable revealing to the world in order to be accepted.

As adults we have the opportunity to revisit some of the aspects of our identity that were formed based on our environment or expected family role. We can notice where these are no longer true for us and psychically update the aspect of our seventh chakra, where “the way we show ourselves to the world” is stored.  We may need to heal some wounds or change certain “pictures” we have of ourselves to activate this healing. Calling on the assistance of a spiritual mentor or clairvoyant healer in this process allows us to see beyond our own limitations.

If you are ready for an easy identity update, send a psychic request to your Akashic/Soul record keeper to update our identity to present time. You don’t need to delve into the quicksand here, keep it light. But if you see a specific false belief that continues to alter the way you show up in the world, you can take it deeper with a detailed request of what you are ready to remove, and what belief you would like to replace it with. Always remember to fill-in your aura with the vibration of your own essence before completing a healing meditation.