Archives For analytical mind

The day dawned and I saw the tasks before me. My heart wasn’t in it. My mind was busy trying to figure out how to return to peace.  I was in an existential crisis. All felt meaningless. Not knowing what else to do I resorted to the reboot button. I went out into my backyard and lay in the grass on the earth, staring up at the sky allowing Earth to absorb the suffering of all humanity held in my bones.

Slowly the solid slightly damp ground beneath my body started breathing with me. Earth  is so deeply wise in its transformation of what falls upon it into loam. My mind’s attachment dissolved, disillusion. Earth absorbing all of my need to find meaning, explanations, understanding, belief, disbelief, purpose. In the presence of such vast, enduring simplicity my yearnings are a pinprick.

I let it go. Not even claiming to know what “it” I’m letting go. Human suffering? Grief for all the suffering my psychic eyes see? All that cannot and will not be healed, fixed, resolved in this lifetime? Everything that is in-between me and Being-ness.  So that I can walk back to the world of, this-equals-that: time-equals-pay, money-equals-options, healing-equals-happiness. For a moment I’m not sure what I believe. Believing seems like a way to make myself feel safe when truthfully the entirety of existence is unfathomably complex.

On this patch of dirt and grass, looking up at the sky crisscrossed with power lines above my backyard, contemplating life’s mystery.  I know this much, I need nature. Earth is my lifeline. It does more than ground me. It heals me. It allows the unknown to be unknowable. It allows my mind to stop. It opens my heart. It dissolves all attempts to avoid The Divine  Mystery’s call.

I’m listening. Listening means feeling. I’m feeling. Feeling sucks sometimes. I am so glad that I feel.

I danced the night before this existential crisis at Rhythm Sanctuary. I felt discomfort, my body wanted to loosen. I was impatient with the sounds. They felt too slow and jolting. I wanted to dive in to the fire, but it was only sticks, then a spark of flint. The wood was wet and taking time to ignite. When the fire caught, my body felt rhythmic and alive. I trusted my body and it moved in all the worshipful, tribal, ecstatic ways it wanted. But my brain was still engaged. It was only when my brain stopped noticing my dance that I enjoyed how I felt.

My underlying problem is that I spend too much time in the place where my brain is noticing.  The brain noticing is critical and comparative, it wants an answer. It wants to know what to do to get to pleasure. The brain can’t get to pleasure. The brain has to lay on Earth and recognize it is simply a different form of dust. Match vibrations with eternity.

The brain must surrender its role as the keeper of the human body. It is CEO, it has enough information to lead but not the capacity that the heart has to feel, the womb has to surrender and merge, the belly has to propel. The brain wants to figure it out. It doesn’t do well with what can’t be measured and decided.  Its job is to decide, to analyze.

All misery comes from my brain yet it is my best ally. I want to train my brain to recognize when it’s trying to fix or solve something that is out of its expertise. I want it to advise me to take council with the heart, to check in with my pleasure center, to ask the skin, the womb, the voice what they have to say. The brain struggles to find pleasure.  It’s not able to manifest pleasure, only measure it. Its job is to reflect on the other aspects of me that are creating sensations through life experiences. Then select the best option.

In an existential crisis my brain has nothing to work with. All the facts aren’t facts. They are feelings, sensations, knowingness that comes from the body. There is no decision to be made. No action to take. It is a time to stop, listen and feel. Reboot. To follow the rest of my soul’s experiences back to pleasure.

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Even the best of us can be fooled sometimes, believing what we are told by someone who is being dishonest. We lean toward accepting what someone says as the truth until it strays outside of believable or we have an experience with them where we discover a lie and become skeptical.

As we cultivate our intuitive awareness, we start to notice when we receive indicators that a person isn’t being forthcoming, a gut feeling. Our belly (third chakra) tightens when we sense dishonesty. Deception is one way people use to maintain power in a situation. That may simply be due to the person’s need to feel in-control, invulnerable or to keep us seeing them in a certain light.

Recognizing dishonesty becomes trickier when the person truly believes what they are saying or feels justified in their actions. For example, a person believes that something should be theirs and steals it but then doesn’t admit it is stolen when confronted. It’s harder to “read” their dishonesty as they are sold on their own entitlement.

Or someone you go on a date with tells you they are a snowboarder and mountain biker but hasn’t actually done either for many years.  They don’t see this as a lie because they see themselves as who they were ten years ago and believe it to be their identity.  When it emerges that they aren’t actively doing these things, they may still adamantly define themselves as that person who they were in the past, rather than being honest with themselves about who they are in the present.

Being lied to and not realizing it until we’ve felt the impact of the betrayal brings up a full gamut of emotions, shame at not recognizing it sooner, feeling foolish, self-doubt, anger, a loss of our innocence in trust for others, disappointment, grief, heartbreak and confusion.

When our intuition signals to us that we aren’t getting a straight story or the person’s actions aren’t lining up with their words, it activates our analyzer. The part of our mind that tries to make sense of the difference between what we intuit and what we are being told.

Our brain wants alignment between what we perceive and what we hear. Incongruity keeps it activated, trying to make sense of the nonsense.  In this way, doubting our intuition when we perceive dishonesty, consumes a lot of our energy. Or as my spiritual mentor says, “Secrets, lies and withholds are toxic.”

To get clear on the truth, we start by noticing our body’s response. Where do we feel tense? If the belly is clenched it is telling us something’s awry. Then we take a few deep breaths to get centered and ask our higher Self some questions, listening deeply for the answers:

  • Has this person lied to me or are they acting without integrity?
  • Do they believe what they are telling me is true?
  • What does this person need me to believe about them and why?
  • Is my own unrelated fear triggering doubt for this situation or person?

Ultimately our peace comes from acknowledging the incongruence within analytical and intuitive aspects of our mind and directly addressing the person whose actions we sense are not following their words.  Encountering dishonesty can be disheartening, feel like betrayal and drain our energy. The more we listen to our intuitive indicators and trust our Self to see the situation clearly by using more than the physical senses, the less energy we will lose in the dance between analyzer and intuitive mind.

The Sizzle vs the Steak

Natalie —  March 25, 2014 — 1 Comment

I was talking to my brother recently about how much energy can be spent on possibilities that never come to fruition. He used a phrase that hit home when he said, “I don’t want to waste my time being sold on the sizzle. I want to be eating the steak.” Meaning, I want to spend my energy on what is real in the present, rather than chasing a future promise.

We’ve been sold on the sizzle of having our life purpose magically bestowed on us before birth. Once we figure out what our purpose is life will be a breeze.  But there’s a catch, we have to figure it out or we’ve failed.

This looks so easy for those in the limelight (athletes, actors, musicians, politicians). We’ve given them the power of our interest because they seem to have figured out their life purpose, as they are succeeding in making money doing what they enjoy, or so it seems.  Yet we also love to watch their failures to reassure ourselves that even the famous aren’t perfect and have to suffer.

The truth is that we get to choose our purpose (the steak). It’s not pre-destined.  When we struggle to “figure it out,” it’s because we believe the lie of the sizzle. We are looking for an answer outside of our Self. Seeking a sense of fulfillment from a source out in the future depletes our energy. The analytical-mind has kicked-in to drive us to find an answer when we need to be listening to our intuitive-mind for guidance.

The analytical-mind references past information and data to help us make decisions. Our intuitive-mind allows us to read the present and see what we are a “yes” to or a “no” to.  Our intuitive mind has access to our entire Being’s wisdom and assists us in recognizing the steak versus chasing the sizzle.

We’ve often defined purpose as having a passion for something.  For me writing is a passion, it gives my life meaning and yet it’s not my career nor is it my only pleasure. In fact, often I find it hard to write, to find the words to express what I feel inside that I want to share with others.  But once I do, it is such a wonderful sensation of alignment with my Self.  The dance between me and words is not a handshake that results in a book deal and assignment to complete a task that I get paid for, defining some measure of success. It’s a bridge that connects the islands of my heart, head, body and soul; then extends that connection to invite others to self-reflect or gain a deeper understanding.

I used to hold tight to words that I’d written, if they didn’t fit in the piece I was crafting, I felt I needed to save them for later lest I not be able to create them again. Now I take pleasure in deleting a sentence that doesn’t work. I trust that I’ll find a new way to express the sentiment in the right context when the time comes. I’m not hanging on to the sizzle of possibility but taking a bite out of the steak in front of me. Saying what needs to be said right now!

Creating anything in our life requires taking steps that are not an end in and of them self.  Maybe that seems like chasing the sizzle, but when we are truly present for the moment rather than putting our energy out in the future, we are eating the steak every day while we create our lives.

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Recently I found myself resisting asking the universe for what I wanted.  As if outside of my life looking in, I knew that taking time to get clear on what I really wanted would benefit me. It would help me be more present and stay aligned with my truth. While self-reflecting on my resistance, I realized my inner-judgment toward asking for what I want.

Why was I hesitating?  My analytical mind argued, “What if what I think I want isn’t in my highest good?”  Or it took the position that I shouldn’t be as specific in my request, leaving it more open to the divine plan.  But by avoiding getting clear I was undermining my power to manifest and subsequently my inner-peace.

Another aspect of my resistance was fear that God would see me as greedy for wanting more than what was needed for survival.  I also worried that my desires would somehow unconsciously impact others in a negative or manipulative way.  Overshadowing all of these judgmental thoughts was my fear of being disappointed. It felt risky to get my hopes up by asking for what I wanted.

Part of me could see the fallacy in all of these beliefs.  But they felt real due to my social and religious programming. They were unconsciously blocking me.

Once I recognized them as false beliefs, I spent time in meditation looking at myself to identify, heal and release them.  I noticed that I felt the tension of these beliefs in my body just below the belly button in my second chakra, the creation energy zone.  Taking action to free myself of these blocks to creation, I visualized a bubble outside of my body, like a salve, drawing out the energies of judgment, control, fear, disappointment and unworthiness.  When the bubble was full of these outdated beliefs, I imagined it floating to a faraway mountain top and popping.  The energy was released to be recycled in the universe.  Practicing meditations that clean-out false beliefs help us create space and remove resistance.

Here are a few of the benefits of setting intentions by visualizing what we would like to create in our life:

  • Focusing on areas in our life (relationship, career, home, money, health) long enough to get clear on what it is we are seeking to experience, aligns our energy with this vision, increasing our odds of attracting it!
  • Knowing what we want and need allows us to see more clearly when we are making choices, or feeling obligated to do things that aren’t in alignment with our values.
  • Being open to the form that our desires are fulfilled keeps us in gratitude.
  • The present moment is the only one where we have power to influence our larger life experience.

Manifestation is all about the feelings we want to experience in our life. When we get clear on what we want to feel in a relationship, in our home or at work, the form those experiences take or “how” things manifest isn’t as important. Removing resistance, those beliefs that we allow to block us from having what we want, gives us more clarity. Life flows, it takes less effort, when we are clear and in alignment with our needs and wants.

This content is for members only

This content is for members only

This content is for members only

This content is for members only