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I often get into conversations with parents of sensitive kids who don’t know how to help.  They were never given the tools to manage their own sensitivity or they don’t have the same sort of sensitivity. I was a sensitive kid.

Some people are simply born with more sensitivity to the energies around them. They have natural empathy, feeling what others feel. And frequently get drained, overstimulated or emotional in response to their surroundings.  They don’t yet know how to recognize when what they are feeling is not their feelings, or how to create healthy boundaries.  Sensitivity has two main roots:

  1. Nature
  2. Trauma

Trauma based sensitivity is a result of conditioning. Many highly sensitive people had childhood trauma. Their sense of safety required heightened alertness, “reading” people in order to minimize abuse or manage stress. A survival skill to navigate home life or societal traumas such as war.

I’ve recently identified a new branch on the trauma root that previous generations did not experience. Sensitive children conditioned by the stress of over stimulation. Constant stimulation has particularly deep impact on developing minds.

What we experience in childhood sets the baseline for normal throughout life.  Trauma that heightens sensitivity doesn’t have to be first hand.  Frequent exposure to unpredictable violence through the media can traumatize a child. Make them feel unsafe at school or other environments where a sense of safety was previously the norm. How a child learns to manage it shapes their life forever.

My parents were sensitive too. Like most of us they were taught or found ways to suppress their sensitivity when it got too uncomfortable. There are a lot of ways we suppress sensitivity:

  • Substances that alter our state of sensitivity, from coffee to alcohol or pharmaceuticals
  • Checking-out, habits that detach us from feeling, TV, internet, video games
  • Staying busy, not allowing enough time to process experiences
  • Eating for comfort
  • Using the mind to deny what one senses

Now that you understand a bit more about the roots of sensitivity and how it is typically suppressed, what can you do to help yourself or your sensitive child?

The first step is to shift from thinking sensitivity is bad. Sensitivity is heightened awareness. It is a skill. Even a gift when we get comfortable with it. Getting comfortable with it is the tricky part.

Second, you learn to notice when it’s happening and identify it as something you are experiencing in response to your environment rather than your own emotions or thoughts. To do this ask yourself or ask your child to ask themselves a few questions:

What do I feel? Is it “my” feeling? Is it something I feel around me? What or who around me is feeling like this?

This begins the process of getting clear on what you sense that is your energy and what isn’t your energy that you feel in your environment.

Once you know that something you feel is not yours, you are free to consciously give your Self space from it. You can do this by visualizing the emotion, thought or physical sensation moving into a rose or a pretty rock. Somewhere separate from your body. As you are practicing you might want to have a clean-out rock or crystal that you use for this and periodically soak it in water with Epsom salts to clear the energy.

Over time your awareness of the sources of your sensitivity becomes clearer and your ability to separate from the energy that isn’t yours is a habit. Then you will experience your sensitivity as a tool or a gift to help you navigate life.

The magic of sensitivity is revealed when you are not suppressing it, turning it off or denying it but can see it as valuable information. Then you are free to apply the understanding to your choices in a given situation.

You might think your family didn’t teach you much about your intuition but they did.  Whether they taught you to doubt your gut feelings by telling you that you were wrong when you voiced something you sensed but couldn’t prove, or they simply were living examples of listening to their inner-voice; they taught you something.

One way I was taught to tune-in to my intuition by my family was through working with my dad on the ranch. There were always projects to do. The list was never ending with land, livestock, buildings, fences and equipment to keep in order.  Dad would often have me and my brother help him when he was working on a project. He did most of the heavy lifting and our job was to keep him in his efficiency-zone by handing him whatever tool he needed next, holding a board in place or plugging in a power tool.

While he taught us how to do things along the way and verbally asked us to hand him the next tool or piece of material he needed early on, over time we were expected to know what he needed next, to read his mind and be one step ahead of him as he worked.  This was also the way his dad, our grandfather worked.  My brother and I learned to either be savvy enough to know what was next in the project or intuit their next step.

We were experiencing non-verbal communication.  As the helpers we tuned-in to what was happening and kept track of the fast pace that activity was moving. We not only were tuned-in to whether a next tool was needed but if it was time to get dad a drink of water.

Practicing awareness of another through observation and intuitively tuning-in to foresee what they may need next was one of the languages of our family.  In the full throws of a project if we weren’t tuned-in it could mean someone got hurt or the rhythm or efficiency was broken. It also insured we didn’t get scolded for being lazy and not doing our part.

Reading or empathically feeling others emotions and translating that into what to do for them is one of the tricky areas where we can either be affirmed or taught to doubt ourselves in a family.  The nice thing about intuiting the material next steps of a ranch project is that it not as dicey of ground as intuiting someone’s emotions and knowing how to respond.

Our families subtly teach us how to use or disregard our intuition.  As we identify some of the ways this occurred in our life, we can use it to reclaim or further hone our intuitive awareness.

Even the best of us can be fooled sometimes, believing what we are told by someone who is being dishonest. We lean toward accepting what someone says as the truth until it strays outside of believable or we have an experience with them where we discover a lie and become skeptical.

As we cultivate our intuitive awareness, we start to notice when we receive indicators that a person isn’t being forthcoming, a gut feeling. Our belly (third chakra) tightens when we sense dishonesty. Deception is one way people use to maintain power in a situation. That may simply be due to the person’s need to feel in-control, invulnerable or to keep us seeing them in a certain light.

Recognizing dishonesty becomes trickier when the person truly believes what they are saying or feels justified in their actions. For example, a person believes that something should be theirs and steals it but then doesn’t admit it is stolen when confronted. It’s harder to “read” their dishonesty as they are sold on their own entitlement.

Or someone you go on a date with tells you they are a snowboarder and mountain biker but hasn’t actually done either for many years.  They don’t see this as a lie because they see themselves as who they were ten years ago and believe it to be their identity.  When it emerges that they aren’t actively doing these things, they may still adamantly define themselves as that person who they were in the past, rather than being honest with themselves about who they are in the present.

Being lied to and not realizing it until we’ve felt the impact of the betrayal brings up a full gamut of emotions, shame at not recognizing it sooner, feeling foolish, self-doubt, anger, a loss of our innocence in trust for others, disappointment, grief, heartbreak and confusion.

When our intuition signals to us that we aren’t getting a straight story or the person’s actions aren’t lining up with their words, it activates our analyzer. The part of our mind that tries to make sense of the difference between what we intuit and what we are being told.

Our brain wants alignment between what we perceive and what we hear. Incongruity keeps it activated, trying to make sense of the nonsense.  In this way, doubting our intuition when we perceive dishonesty, consumes a lot of our energy. Or as my spiritual mentor says, “Secrets, lies and withholds are toxic.”

To get clear on the truth, we start by noticing our body’s response. Where do we feel tense? If the belly is clenched it is telling us something’s awry. Then we take a few deep breaths to get centered and ask our higher Self some questions, listening deeply for the answers:

  • Has this person lied to me or are they acting without integrity?
  • Do they believe what they are telling me is true?
  • What does this person need me to believe about them and why?
  • Is my own unrelated fear triggering doubt for this situation or person?

Ultimately our peace comes from acknowledging the incongruence within analytical and intuitive aspects of our mind and directly addressing the person whose actions we sense are not following their words.  Encountering dishonesty can be disheartening, feel like betrayal and drain our energy. The more we listen to our intuitive indicators and trust our Self to see the situation clearly by using more than the physical senses, the less energy we will lose in the dance between analyzer and intuitive mind.

Following Your Dreams

Natalie —  October 22, 2014 — 3 Comments

Temple Sunrise

Dreams point us in the direction of what we believe will bring us greater happiness and pleasure in life. Yet often we get stopped short by the enormity of getting from here to there.  Or we get distracted by easier things to do that we don’t value as much (procrastination) and forget to listen to our inner voice as it points us in the direction of that desire.

Occasionally we run headlong in the direction of our dream and the clues the universe delivers along our pathway are a blur. We don’t see them because we’re so focused on an outcome and miss a critical opportunity en route.  Our soul speaks to us always of what is true and right for us, but we have to allow space to listen. This inner guide gives us regular clues, invitations on the journey, to take short cuts or meandering long roads that expand our possibilities, connections, inspiration and foundation as we head toward a vision.

Experience is what living is about. Every meaningful experience is a gem that fills your treasure chest as a soul.  As you reflect on your collection of gems, they evoke emotional resonance. You may still feel surprise and excitement at the synchronicities that occur when you are present and listening. One of these gems may have been your first exposure to your dream.

Such as the time I affirmed a little girl’s insistence that she could see a dog in my truck with me shortly after my dog Luka had died.  Her parents kept telling her “no, there’s no doggie.” That day I was taking a step toward fulfilling a dream of helping others with their spiritual journey that led to the clairvoyance I now offer. This little girl who was able to “see” reminded me what is available when I look at life from a place of innocence and don’t listen to the voices negating my experience.

A more recent gem in my treasure chest of experience was created from the discomfort that pushed me and my friend to change plans, pack up and move camps three days into Burning Man, the first step that led to changing my trajectory for the entire experience.  My soul kept nudging me to embrace a deeper trust that all of my needs would be met without external reassurances. Listening, following what I felt called to do without knowing how many things would work out (food, a place to sleep and transportation back to Oregon). I was never in lack and found the less I concerned myself with survival the more community support and synchronistic connections showed up.

Gems are created from great pressure that creates beauty. We find them in river beds, in caves… the freshest brightest moments of our lives and the darkest most inward times.

Our soul’s assignment is not to achieve something big that will go down in history or arrive at the Summit of a peak. Fulfilling a dream is fantastic, but to have our eyes open on the way there, that is where the magic lies. To choose a path and choose again, a multitude of times as we walk along a path, noticing what feels right and what feels off. Each step in the direction of a dream realized is an opportunity to listen to our soul’s guidance, to the Divine that is us, as it leads us through experiences, energies and obstacles.

The Sizzle vs the Steak

Natalie —  March 25, 2014 — 1 Comment

I was talking to my brother recently about how much energy can be spent on possibilities that never come to fruition. He used a phrase that hit home when he said, “I don’t want to waste my time being sold on the sizzle. I want to be eating the steak.” Meaning, I want to spend my energy on what is real in the present, rather than chasing a future promise.

We’ve been sold on the sizzle of having our life purpose magically bestowed on us before birth. Once we figure out what our purpose is life will be a breeze.  But there’s a catch, we have to figure it out or we’ve failed.

This looks so easy for those in the limelight (athletes, actors, musicians, politicians). We’ve given them the power of our interest because they seem to have figured out their life purpose, as they are succeeding in making money doing what they enjoy, or so it seems.  Yet we also love to watch their failures to reassure ourselves that even the famous aren’t perfect and have to suffer.

The truth is that we get to choose our purpose (the steak). It’s not pre-destined.  When we struggle to “figure it out,” it’s because we believe the lie of the sizzle. We are looking for an answer outside of our Self. Seeking a sense of fulfillment from a source out in the future depletes our energy. The analytical-mind has kicked-in to drive us to find an answer when we need to be listening to our intuitive-mind for guidance.

The analytical-mind references past information and data to help us make decisions. Our intuitive-mind allows us to read the present and see what we are a “yes” to or a “no” to.  Our intuitive mind has access to our entire Being’s wisdom and assists us in recognizing the steak versus chasing the sizzle.

We’ve often defined purpose as having a passion for something.  For me writing is a passion, it gives my life meaning and yet it’s not my career nor is it my only pleasure. In fact, often I find it hard to write, to find the words to express what I feel inside that I want to share with others.  But once I do, it is such a wonderful sensation of alignment with my Self.  The dance between me and words is not a handshake that results in a book deal and assignment to complete a task that I get paid for, defining some measure of success. It’s a bridge that connects the islands of my heart, head, body and soul; then extends that connection to invite others to self-reflect or gain a deeper understanding.

I used to hold tight to words that I’d written, if they didn’t fit in the piece I was crafting, I felt I needed to save them for later lest I not be able to create them again. Now I take pleasure in deleting a sentence that doesn’t work. I trust that I’ll find a new way to express the sentiment in the right context when the time comes. I’m not hanging on to the sizzle of possibility but taking a bite out of the steak in front of me. Saying what needs to be said right now!

Creating anything in our life requires taking steps that are not an end in and of them self.  Maybe that seems like chasing the sizzle, but when we are truly present for the moment rather than putting our energy out in the future, we are eating the steak every day while we create our lives.

A trapeze artist must let go of one bar to grasp the next, allowing the momentum to carry her to her destination. She trusts that the brief moment between attachment to one bar and firmly holding the next will not result in a fall to injury or death.  Whenever we let go of one belief, one aspect of routine or commitment in our life en route to a new experience, we have to cross a moment where there is nothing to hold on to.

It’s a moment of faith. We know where we’ve been. We know it’s time to let go and change. We see what we are willing to try next, our next step, even if we aren’t sure what it means or where it is taking us. When momentum and synchronicity of life circumstances is on our side we may not notice the large cavern below as we swing to our next possibility.

The familiarity of the old way of being can have us stuck. It’s easier to keep doing what we’ve done rather than take the risk of change. Over time we may miss multiple opportunities to make a change. We elect to wait a little longer, stick with the familiar because it seems less stressful, or just more comfortable.  The trapeze we are swinging on loses contact with the flow and we aren’t getting close enough to the opportunity for change that arrives.

We see it but it’s out of reach. Or we stop seeing new opportunities and are hanging there in that familiar spot, with the belief or in the relationship or with the job we’ve been at for a long time, yet we know it’s a dead end. It’s not where we are supposed to be.  We’re stuck.  We are a sailboat in windless waters.

How do we let go of whatever we are stuck on, the aspect of our lives asking for change that we’ve avoided?  How do we create momentum, movement, and wind in our sails?  We move energy.

Moving energy is pretty simple.  One way to do it is through intentional visualization, eyes closed or open, we set an intention to move the stuck energy out of our space.  I do this by visualizing a rose in front of me that is vacuuming out the stuck energy from my aura.  It doesn’t need to be any more specific than that.

If you want to get specific  you can watch various unhelpful energies move out of your aura and into the rose such as fear, anxiety, uncertainty, disappointment, self-judgment, disapproval from loved ones or possible failure.   When the rose is full of the energy you have moved out of your space, imagine it going to a faraway place, a mountain top or desert. See it dissolve, recycling the energy into the neutrality of the universe.

Moving stuck energy out of our aura creates momentum and room for the new possibility. The more energy we let go of that isn’t serving us, the more wind is available to fill our sails and carry us to our next destination.

I’ve been traveling in France, Monaco and Spain for two weeks. Immersed in culture with a history so much deeper than my homeland, generations layered upon generations of human experience, heightens my awareness of the foundation of humanity. From the back breaking labor spent cutting limestone and granite to build structures that would survive two thousand years, to the spiritual practices that evolved from pagan to Christian evoking intense dedication, sacrifice and mystic beliefs, to the age of farming for survival in this region that has evolved into primarily luxury crops of wine grapes, olives, truffles and lavender… the story that this land tells from being touched by human pain and love is powerful.

While taking in all of this ancient magic of past civilizations that has survived to this day, I have to wonder what inspired the intense devotion to constructing amphitheaters, aqueducts and cathedrals that would last for hundreds even thousands of years? I realize there was plenty of survival fear and slavery involved, but the belief system is what fascinates me.

We humans get so invested in belief systems that are limited by the perspective of our points of reference. Before the age of science, we attributed much of the natural events that caused us harm, to punishment from a higher power. The few in power found ways to take advantage of this fear and use it to direct the energy of the masses. And in the midst of the hard labor, there was the satisfaction individuals and communities felt from creating something of substance together, beginning a task only their great-great-grandchildren would see completed.

Today we still allow belief systems to alter our experience of the world. Our beliefs are so often unconscious and the most powerful one’s are the beliefs we have about our Self. Our beliefs limit or expand our opportunity to live fully. When I reflect on civilizations, I realize we are still living with many of the belief based limitations of what is possible for us based on our material circumstances.

The culture we live in, the community, our friends, what we see in the media, all influencing what we believe is possible and how we direct our energy. Part of the darkness of the old world was that those in power were able to get away with suppressing and directing the masses to join their cause through the periodic act of torture, punishment or utilizing a natural disaster to explain why the people were suffering. Using the belief system that those with different class status have different inherent value.

Now we have come to believe that terrorism is part of our reality and future. It limits our sense of freedom to travel and feel safe even in our own land. We have been conditioned to believe that there is no safe place as we’ve seen children killed at schools and innocents killed at movie theaters. And those who took the actions to cause this “terrorizing” are living with a belief system that most of us don’t understand. What I believe is that we can shift our experience by shifting our beliefs about what is possible for us and what our inherent value is.

Looking at the work of these ancient civilizations throughout Europe, I am reminded to keep questioning my beliefs. Specifically the assumptions that are unconscious beliefs and those influenced by exposure to information from those in positions of power who would like me to stay in a fear based belief in order to maintain a form of control over society.

When people ask me what I do the conversation always gets interesting.  I balance both a mainstream technology career with my soul work as a clairvoyant.  People are really curious about what it’s like to be a psychic.  The word itself is loaded with assumptions, religious judgments, fear and misinformation.  They often ask, “How is it that you see things?”  Every psychic sees a bit differently but there are many similarities in how we see, in clairvoyant images, clairaudient hearing or clairsentience touch of an object or personal item to knows it’s story.  I see information visually, a stream of images crossing my minds-eye and tap into a stream of consciousness that is available on the non-linear plane and translate it into words.

When I’m in a clairvoyant reading space I am looking at the soul signature of the person who has given me permission to do the reading.  Every soul is unique, which is why it doesn’t matter if the person is in the same room or on the other side of the planet. It’s like tuning into a radio frequency or going to a websites IP address.  People come with questions or a desire for healing in certain areas of their life such as relationship, career, finances and health.

With a psychiatrist, one expresses their feelings, analyzes the motivations, comes to understand and change mental/emotional habits that are not constructive in order to reduce their stress.  The intent of psychology is to heal emotional wounds and feel more at peace.  The form of clairvoyant work I do, accesses a deeper subconscious layer often out of reach with psychology.  This view point looks at one’s souls history which some call the Akashic Records or Book of Life.

Unresolved experiences from the past unconsciously influence the present experience.  When I read, I look at the spiritual body, the unconscious layers of experiences that continue to influence what a person is attracting into their life. These aspects frequently find us repeating similar situations, relationships, etc. even after we have worked through and changed the psychological pattern.

Behind every question I’m asked is the desire for change, something isn’t going the way the person would like it to. They want to experience life differently, with inner-peace, a sense satisfaction or dreams fulfilled.  As I scan the aura, I use the chakras as a map of the body’s energy field indicating what the energy is related to: safety/survival (1st), creation/sexuality (2nd), power/manifestation (3rd), giving/receiving love (4th), communication (5th), analytical and intuitive mind (6th), connection with spirit (7th). I identify where there are blocks to the person creating the experiences they want. These area’s light up and that’s where I dive in deeper to then see the origin of the pattern.

As I watch this information presented, like a flow of images on a movie screen in my mind’s eye, I communicate what I’m seeing in the clearest way possible to the person I am reading.  In parallel, I am silently communicating with the spirit realm intervening on their behalf to erase blocks, deprogram ineffective belief systems, move out foreign energies and release any unresolved energetic charge from the past that is holding the person back in that specific area.

I choose to use my clairvoyance for healing, this means while I see future potential outcomes I don’t believe in reading them.  It is my personal desire not to promote attachment to a future that will change as we make choices that affect our life.  This keeps the door open for our choices to mold our life moment-by-moment into something more beautiful than we may have ever imagined.

While only some of us decide to hone our ability to see and understand what we are seeing to the extent that those labeled psychic have.  I believe that all of us have intuitive awareness available to us. We can each cultivate more of it through awareness, clearing out the cobwebs of our own agenda and learning tools for interpreting what we see.[subscribe2]

Animals as Healers

Natalie —  September 26, 2012 — 2 Comments

Bisbee the soul in a dogs body from 2002 to 2012

Reposting this in memory of my four-legged companion Bisbee who passed to the other side in August.  I watched his soul meet the angels waiting as he left his body.  It was a joyous moment for him but a huge loss for me.  I miss his presence.  For those of you who have had readings with me, you will miss his sensitivity to energy moving in the sessions and his awareness of when our session was nearing completion… the dog timer.

Animals are more than companions, they are teachers and healers.  Animals live in the present.  They don’t worry about the past or the future.  In their presence, our pets are tuned-in to the vibration of the moment and can give us clues about the energy of an experience if we pay attention to their signals.  They sense the vibration of those around them and respond accordingly.

When I’m in session with a client and a potent spiritual energy is being moved out of the space, my dog will become interested and put his body between the two of us.  He senses the presence of this other entity as it is detaching from the person who has been carrying it.  He’s showing up to offer healing assistance and protection.  On a simpler level, he’s checking out the other energy that just arrived in the space, as he would greet a person that came to the front door of the house.

Pet companions, especially cats and dogs, offer us insights into the energy of people in our lives.  Is the person comfortable with themselves or fearful of connecting with others? Do they have a spiritual entity in their space that they are allowing to operate their body?  Animals recognize it, and display uncharacteristic behavior such as avoidance of the person, overt dislike or blocking the person from approaching their owner. This is equally true for self-reflection, our animal companions change the way they respond to us when we are not being ourselves i.e. when we have some spiritual energy in our space that is altering our vibration.

Pets don’t have a ‘socially acceptable’ filter that prevents them from showing their authentic response to a person or another animal.  They are tuned-in to energy and respond without hesitance by cowering, attack, cuddling or ignoring.  They can draw our attention to something or someone being off.

As humans we’ve learned the healthy respect of others boundaries and consider behavioral appropriateness before we snuggle up to someone or tell them off.  We are programmed to respond in a ways that deny acknowledgment of our true intuitive response to a person and the vibrations they are carrying.  We use past experiences as a point of reference and overide what we feel in the present.

By observing our pets we can learn to be more present, intuitively tuning in to the energy as we engage in relationships.  Our animals offer comfort and healing when they sense we are upset, angry, sad or in pain. They sleep beside us when we are physically sick or emotionally distraught. They play with us when we are joyful and invite us to play with them when we are too caught up in mundane tasks to smile.  They always offer unconditional love. And they teach us to listen to our intuition by being tuned into the vibrations of all beings they encounter.