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Grief is more than the emotion that arises when someone we love dies. It surfaces when we experience an ending of any sort. A relationship with someone we love changes or comes to an end due to breakup or divorce. We physically move away from a community or change jobs. Something about our life doesn’t turn out how we thought it would.
As we explore our intuitive nature, empathy is the first place most of us experience a sense of reading another’s energy (2nd chakra). Empathy has us match energy with those we care for to energetically support them. When we feel the intuitive information in our body rather than “see” it in our clairvoyant space (6th chakra) we may have a hard time separating our emotions from that of the other. We take on the pain of another and actually have physical symptoms from it. By doing this we are less capable of providing the needed strength for our loved one. We can maintain connectedness without matching the energy of those around us. In doing so, we tune-in to our own emotions without carrying the burden of the collective grief.
When our heart is broken with grief, the pain may cause us to check-out or escape the feeling. At times we may be unconscious of it but notice that we’re scattered, having a hard time focusing or not feeling very present in our body. A practice of inquiry, when these sensations of distance between body and spirit occur, helps us realign. Asking our body what it feels and listening. Sometimes it requires activation of physical activity like walking, yoga or dancing to reconnect. Feeling pain isn’t easy but allows the energy to move through the natural cycle, providing relief.
The best thing we can do for ourselves when there is a loss in our lives is feel the grief while nurturing our physical body and staying connected with loved ones. If we commit to notice when we want to disassociate from our experience of pain, we can find a path to staying more present. This may be through meditation, physical movement that connects spirit to body or reaching out to a friend to talk. Then when we find ourselves taking on the pain of another we are prepared to breathe deeply, and take the imaginary elevator from our 2nd chakra up to the 6th via the heart to lend strength to those we love.
Bisbee at the ranch
Sometimes my mind gets caught up in a question that I don’t have the answer for, it circles and circles the question seeking relief. As I was driving to Arizona from Colorado a couple of weeks ago, I had a lot of time to ponder a question that was stumping me. While struggling to find the answer, I became aware of my unconscious belief that God had the right answer and wanted me to act in accordance with it. I could not see past whatever blocks were in my mind to a clear choice for myself. I started to get frustrated.
At this point of frustration, I was reminded of something I’d seen my dog Bisbee do shortly after I adopted him as a two-year old. He’s a border collie programmed through generations of breeding to herd. He wants to roundup everything that moves, to keep it in control so he can feel at peace. On several of Bisbee’s first trips in a car he got manic about herding the cars that were driving by. He wanted to chase them so bad that more than once he wedged himself between the driver’s seat and the door with his nose firmly pressed in the crack of the dashboard and windshield, every muscle in his body rigid. I felt like Bisbee in my desire to have an answer to the question. My analytical mind was locked into the belief that there was a right answer with intense focus on trying to figure it out. I experienced the sensation of being pressed into a corner. I wasn’t getting anywhere. Finally, it dawned on me that there was no right answer. This question I was asking was really not about right or wrong, good or bad, but simply a choice regarding what I wanted to create with my life. The Universe or God didn’t really care whether I went this way or that. Either path would result in a set of experiences that would be my life.
As I drove through the wide open blue skies of New Mexico, I remembered the words of my spiritual mentor, Dawn Eagle Woman “hold a spacious field.” I started visualizing an expansive amount of space around my question and the people that would be impacted by my choice. I looked from horizon to horizon, consciously offering the question and each person involved as much room as I could physically see in the sky. An expansiveness that wasn’t attached to an answer but simply let the question exist.
When the analytical mind kicks in to respond to questions of the heart, it can push us into a corner and imprison us with the effort of trying to figure it out when there is no right answer. We may choose to act based on our vision of the life we are interested in experiencing or wait for the moment when we encounter an option that we easily respond to with yes. Engaging the mind in these situations is simply trying to control the unknown, a fruitless endeavor. Our intuition is present to guide us in questions of the heart and teach us the gentler path of freedom and trust in the natural flow.
Grandpa Del and grandma Florence circa 1944
We all experience moments of feeling compelled to repeat unproductive behavior, or drawn to a place or person with an intensity that doesn’t make sense relative to our life reference points. In these instances, a magnetic power seems to be at play from which it is hard to break free. The triggered emotional response influences our choices and actions. Frequently the root of these inexplicable episodes is in a past life experience left unresolved. It usually doesn’t feel good to have this type of compelling urge. It feels a bit crazy, out of our control, vulnerable and illogical. A look at our past lives reveals responses and behaviors that have no basis in our conscious history. We use intuitive tools to gain clarity, break the cycle and reclaim our power.
Past life experiences are brought to our awareness to give us the opportunity to heal unresolved emotions that continue to unconsciously affect the present. We can ignore, suppress or devalue the energy, but by doing so we are simply allowing it to remain in the backlog of unfinished business we tow around through this life and into the next. To objectively look at our own past life information we need to take the elevator up from our instinctual second chakra feeling space to our intuitive sixth chakra seeing place. From that center of our intuitive space, we ask to see the root of the repetitive pattern and the details of the experience from this lifetime or a past life that generated it. Once we have followed the story of that lifetime in our minds eye, we can acknowledge that our feelings were a valid response at that time. Then we say to ourselves, “This feeling is no longer true in present time.” In this way we reclaim our power to generate a new experience. Next we watch all energetic-charge from the unresolved or false beliefs it contains release. This can be visualized as the energy moving out of the past life memory into a bubble, that is sent far away and popped, or draining off of it through a grounding cord. With the energetic-charge released from this past experience, we ask our Akashic (soul) record keeper to update our soul’s record with this shift. As a final step, we fill in our energy space with a big golden ball of light vibrating at our own energy.
Our desire for answers and inner-peace sets the intention for what is revealed in the process of reading past lives. Ultimately the question we are asking of this information is, “what does it mean for my life now?” The answer we receive holds a deeper truth, allowing us to heal in this lifetime. Exploring our past lives helps us more gracefully move through the lessons our soul came here to learn.
This video message on wholeheartedness, presented by Brené Brown, contains precious information regarding our human experience. Proof that vulnerability or purposeful risk taking such as letting ourselves be “seen” authentically is the key to a peaceful existence from within!
The Chakra Body
The term chakra refers to one of seven energy centers in the human body, each reflecting specific vibrations. As a clairvoyant reader and healer the information I see in a person’s aura is connected to these energy centers. They reflect the area of your life that is being drawn to attention for healing. Getting to know your chakras is like looking at a map of your spiritual guidance as reflected by the body. When you feel a sensation in your body such as tingling or tension, whether it is pleasurable or uncomfortable, it is an indicator that there is something your spirit is trying to draw to your attention. The chakra association can help you interpret the message your energy body is speaking. Chakras vibrate subtly different information to different teachers. The following list is my understanding of the chakras which can always be found through a link on my FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) page.
Seventh chakra (crown) is our connection with the Spirit/God. It contains information on how we show ourselves to the world (our persona) and the energy of understanding.
Sixth chakra (brow) is where we experience our intuitive guidance and analytical mind. Here we see, imagine and have knowledge. It is from here that we see ourselves in the world relative to others.
Fifth chakra (throat) is our communication space, how we express ourselves.
Fourth chakra (heart) is where we give and receive love. It vibrates the energy of affinity for others and the Self.
Third chakra (solar plexus) is our core personal power. It is where we experience self-worth and activate will (how life force energy is manifested into physical form).
Second chakra (abdomen) is where our creation energy lives. It contains our emotions, sexual energy and capacity for manifestation.
First chakra (root – base of spine) is where we ground to the earth. It holds the energies of safety, security and our basic food/shelter survival needs.
In recent generations of human evolution we have grown more and more distant from the messages offered by our body and spirit. Demands on our time, the drone of city life and our constant interaction with people we do not know, have resulted in us shutting down certain levels of perception. We do this as an act of self-preservation, in order to avoid feeling bombarded and overwhelmed with these sensations when making our way through everyday life. This sensory awareness may result in physical and emotional indicators that cannot be explained. Western civilization has given us clinical names and labels, such as depression and anxiety, for the mystery symptoms experienced by large numbers of people. While the symptoms have both physical and spiritual origins, on a spirit level they are signs of the oversaturation of a person’s aura with the energies of others.
Without healthy boundaries, the aura of highly intuitive people is like a sponge absorbing our surroundings. We feel the energy of the unhappy driver behind us, an angry co-worker or bitter words said between husband and wife at the grocery store. Over time, the aura, our filter of the world, meant to be the beginning and end point of our body-spirit signature, gets congested. If our energetic filter is not being cleaned out regularly, like bacteria built up in a sponge, it gets stinky and is less effective at its job. The consciousness of our times demands development of skills to create healthy boundaries for ourselves and experience inner peace.
It is an act of self-healing to release energy that is not ours from our space. To set our space each day is preventative medicine for our energetic body. When we cultivate these skills within ourselves, we claim our capacity to heal. It takes less than 15 minutes to clean out your aura at the beginning or end of each day. Here’s one way:
Visualize a tree trunk attached to the base of your spine and rooted into the center of the earth. Own it by writing your name on it and bring it into present time adding today’s date. Include a switch or button, one that you can set to “full release.” Notice anything in your aura bubble that is no longer serving you, watch it release down the tree trunk. This energy is simply changing form, not causing any harm to the planet or others. Then set your intention for the day. Imagine the aura bubble around your body as complete, without any holes or gaps, give it a new color. Fill in your energetic body with a positive vibration of your choice, to set the tone of your day. Place protection roses on the outside of your aura in the six directions: in front, behind, right, left, above and below. Step into your day from a point of inner peace!
When reading the energetic body for clients I look at areas where they want to create change and positive shifts in their life. I consistently see perfectionism rear its judgmental head to block joy and love that has manifested in people’s lives. The energy of perfection and its companion control are two of the most pervasive human challenges. Our life experiences, family, teachers and peers help us form pictures of what we can expect in response to particular situations. These pictures can help us manifest desired outcomes and protect us from harm. But if the picture is based on information that is not true for us, such as a response to someone else’s fears or a past trauma of our own, it can create repeated negative experiences.
When seeing psychically these pictures are presented to me as associated to one or more of the chakras. They may interfere with our sense of safety, the ability to create and communicate, our sexual energy, personal power, affinity for others and our self, our analytical and intuitive capacity or connection with Spirit. See my chakra definitions at this link. Pictures that are out-of-date or invalid can get stuck in our space and subconsciously contribute to generating experiences that are not in our highest good. The story behind any perfect picture goes something like this, “When I have the right job, partner, enough money or time, THEN I will be happy.” Another form the perfect picture takes is, “When I lose twenty pounds, get my house tidy or finish my degree, THEN I will be ready to meet Mr. or Ms. Right.” These pictures keep us waiting for perfect circumstances in order to HAVE what we desire.
When we grow up in an environment of criticism we develop an inner voice that is riddled with self-judge. This critical voice is constantly seeking an impossible status of perfection, feeding the concept that we have to be in control to be worthy of love. The perfect picture energy blocks us from truly receiving positive things we have manifested in our relationships and environment. If you notice yourself afraid to “get your hopes up,” in self-sabotage or judgment, invalidating yourself or an experience you have created, most likely there is a perfect picture at work. The first step toward freeing your spirit from the bondage of perfection is to acknowledge it. Take the opportunity to visualize a bubble about five-feet in front of you and allow that bubble to collect up all of the perfection energy in your body and mind, drawing it out of your space. Imagine the bubble floating off to a distant mountain where it pops and dissipates. Then see a bubble above your head filled with love and the vibration of your own essence. Call your energy home to you from wherever you’ve left it. Let that bubble full of golden light slide down into your physical and energetic body filling up any areas where the perfectionism was moved out. Breathe in the expansion of greater self-love in your body.
Shame is powerful and toxic. It is a form of control through judgment, a way of dictating what makes us worthy of love. Shame seeks to alter our behaviors through sending an energy current into our aura that invokes a sense of rejection, punishment, dirtiness, imperfection, being wrong, having shown an ugly face of humanity, crossed a taboo, revealed a secret, been inappropriate or weak to our animal instinct rather than shown civility. It may even suggest that our physical attributes or character traits are flawed, too fully revealed for the comfort of another. We can accept the shame into our sense of self, engage in a power struggle in order to defend ourselves or learn to be neutral to outside judgment.
When we feel shame for our words, actions or physical body it is a form of poison. The energy enters our aura with a signature of self-rejection, even self-hatred. Our physical and spiritual bodies absorb the toxic message and move farther away from peace. In balance, our inner guidance is meant to be finely tuned to the needs of our authentic self. When we hide or suppress our authentic self we detach from our intuitive truth. Then our physical body responds chemically to the sensations of stress, tension and fear that are created in response to the toxicity of shame. On both the physical and mental level, barriers are built to hearing our spiritual guidance.
Shame is commonly used to rear children to fit into social structure and invoke a sense of morality. This programs us to feel guilt for thoughts or activities we were taught are shameful, even when there is not another person present to judge us. Abusers use shame to emotionally manipulate their victims. They claim betrayal if the victim reveals the abuse; energetically turning it around to make the victim feel responsible for their abuse. Use of shame and guilt to control human behavior wounds and suppresses the light aspects of our nature along with the shadow aspects. A healthier way to establish a sense of moral guidance or socially appropriate boundaries is to acknowledge the behavior or words as valid while expressing that they make the witness or recipient feel uncomfortable. In this scenario, the person responding takes responsibility for their own feelings and communicates their boundaries without punishing the other or trying to control the situation.
When presented with the energy of shame as a conscious adult, its impact depends on the person delivering it and whether it hits us where we have a prior wound from shame. It may feel good to openly communicate that whatever is being judged in us is perfectly acceptable. But we also have the option to go beyond sending a return-volley of energy in the power struggle. When we heal wounds from past shame, we can become unscathed by other’s judgments and even find humor in their attempts to control. We heal these wounds through self-love and the help of others experienced in shifting outdated behaviors and belief systems. Clairvoyant reading is one path to identify the wounds from shame and heal our energetic body from layers of shame based suppression. Ultimately when we detoxify our lives we are healing future generations and stopping the cycle of abuse.
The river of life is full of furious currents, meandering streams and quiet eddies. Some of us are better at staying busy in the torrent, others prefer relaxing into the flow of everyday life, but we all struggle with moments of feeling stuck. An eddy is a spot on the side of the river where the water gets caught in a loop, holding onto leaves and other debris. A period in our life when we feel blocked from forward movement; it seems we keep having the same experience, one that is not fulfilling. We may feel like some life circumstance is forcing us to wait and we have to endure, or that we’ve tried everything and we don’t know how to create a different experience. This can trigger coping mechanisms, activities that help us check-out to escape from the awareness of our unhappiness. We may watch too much TV, drink or generate some drama to distract us from the reality of what is occurring under the surface in our lives.
We have the power within to break free from stuck patterns and return to the flow of the river. While our outside circumstances may not change, we always have an option of shifting our response to them. A few moments of gentle focus on the area in our life where we feel stuck can begin to create a current that pulls us back out into the stream. This flow can be generated through a simple meditative exercise.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Imagine yourself with a solid connection between the base of your spine and the center of the earth. Visualize the bubble of energy, three-feet-in-each-direction around your body, your aura, containing only your energy. Let any energy that is not you release down the cord connecting you to the center of the earth. From this point of owning your space, consider the area where you feel stuck and ask your intuitive guidance for insight into a next step. It likely will be something small and seemingly in consequential. Like the butterfly effect metaphor, change as gentle as the flap of butterfly wings can create a hurricane on the other side of the world.
Intentional action is the key to creating larger transformation in our lives. Facing our subconscious blocks and resistance is a very tricky topic. We are responsible for creating happiness in our own lives but that doesn’t mean we’ve had examples of how to do it. We seek to form stronger access to our intuition to improve our awareness of what creates joy and a sense of flow in the river of our life. The challenge we face in learning to commune with our inner truth is recognition of the times we have betrayed ourselves, staying stuck in the eddy by tuning out. Tuning-in to our soul’s guidance invites new energy and positive flow.
Rarely do we wake up and ask ourselves, “Will I ignore the messages from my soul or listen to them today?” Instead we dive headlong into the moment: shower, coffee, breakfast, dog, kids, commute, work, exercise, dinner, lover, social activity, household to-do list, TV. We say YES or NO to whatever requests cross our path. In the midst of it there is our inner observer always on-call to assist us in making choices that define our life. It is one of the greatest challenges we are presented with in the human experience to stay aware of our inner guidance, to recognize our truth in any given situation, to say YES to our YES and NO to our NO.
Change is constant and unstoppable. When we resist change or stay stuck in a behavior that we have outgrown, we build up a backlog of denied requests from our inner guidance. As time passes the dam begins to fill with this avoidance, resistance and control. We are blinded by busyness and the path of least resistance often is the familiar more comfortable one. Saying yes to a little piece of inner guidance feels like a crack in the dam that could burst and flood our entire life with change. Beneath the fear is a desire for personal transformation, the kind that brings greater joy and peace. We want to feel free to be our authentic self. We want to choose our life rather than simply run from one demand to the next.
Taking a step in the direction of our intuitive truth may require facing a backlog of self denial. When we don’t choose to get un-stuck of our own free will, often life helps us along though introduction of unavoidable changes in those around us, our job, our health or some other wake up call. The more frequently we acknowledge and act on our inner truth the gentler the process of personal transformation and change becomes. Today say YES to your intuition; establish a co-creative relationship with it, a dialog that expands your awareness of the subtle ways your spirit communicates with you. Intuition is your tour guide to life. It is within you, free and always accessible if you listen.
