Archives For self-awareness

Too Busy for Synchronicity?

Natalie —  July 31, 2018 — 2 Comments

Can you tell me a story of when synchronicity changed your life? You ran into the right person at the right time. You learned about something that led to a new job, passion or relationship. You were following your inner-guidance with courage and some trepidation, when support you would have never imagined showed up along the way.

Synchronicity, in the spiritual sense, is the way your inner-guidance shows you that you are on the right path or helps you get back on that path if you’ve taken a detour. The thing that can be challenging about this sort of magic is allowing enough flexibility in your life to listen, adjust and say yes to the guidance.

In 2000, I decided to go to a writing retreat not far from home in Grand Lake Colorado, it was a last-minute decision because I didn’t have a lot of money. I was questioning many parts of my life, self-employed as an artist, having just turned 30. The retreat was at a hostel and our group mostly filled it up but there were a few other travelers staying there.

One of the travelers was a man from the Netherlands, Philippe who had been hiking through Rocky Mountain National Park. He had planned to hike a loop back to his starting point but twisted his ankle and needed to exit the opposite side of the park to get a ride back to Denver. I was enjoying the discussion in the common area with the travelers when we met.

The next morning at breakfast we had a great conversation. He was getting a ride to Denver. An older woman in the writing group had been engaged in the conversation at our table. When he offered her his business card she turned around and handed it to me. She said, “Actually, I think this young lady needs it.”

After the writing retreat I went home, got an office job and ended my live-in relationship. I was listening to my guidance. A few months later I ran across Philippe’s card when I was cleaning my desk and sent him an email. We became email friends, it was before social media existed. A couple years later he came to Colorado and we climbed Mount Bierstadt together. Four years after we met, he came to visit again and we fell in love.

We had a magical and challenging time together, as many long-distance relationships go, that require one person to move countries. We loved deep and taught each other many things while together. The synchronicity and karmic connection we experienced was profound and wonderful. Each of us listening to our inner guidance lead our paths in different directions after a few years. If I hadn’t made room for synchronicity I might have missed this amazing experience.

Making plans creates the structure of your life and allows you to get many things done in a concentrated amount of time. Stuff that might not happen if there were no plans. Yet too many plans or chronic busyness can block your inner-guidance, make you overlook the synchronicity altogether or not have time for it when it shows up.

Listening to our inner-guidance and being open to synchronicity isn’t always comfortable. We might hear something that means we need to change in a way that is scary or unsettling. But living without listening is not living at all. It’s getting caught in a current that is not taking you where your soul wants you to go.

Stop Your Energy Leaks

Natalie —  December 1, 2017 — 2 Comments

Your energy is your power. When your energy is gathered, like drops of water in a river, its power is amplified. You choose to give your energy to the people you love, the causes you support, the work that allows you to live. And at times you may find yourself feeling unfocused or drained.

Imbalances of energy exchange are energy leaks. They occur when you work or live with an energy vampire. When you are helping ground someone who is ungrounded. When you have been programmed to believe that your power is too much. When you chronically give more than you receive. When you are raised to not have permission to say no.

If you are dealing with someone who always wants more from you. They don’t know how to regenerate their own energy so they hook into the energy of others. At work this could be a manager that sets unreasonable deadlines, creates destabilizing drama or micro-managing busywork. At home this may be a family member who always has demands, is angry or interrupts what you are doing to make you focus on their agenda. They may play victim or use guilt to hook you and use your energy.

“Energy is the driving force for the universe… One form of energy can be transferred to another form.” Scientific Principles

This science is true for human energy as well as energy held in the earth elements. You have the opportunity to focus the transfer of your energy in a way that is fulfilling by shoring up your energy leaks. As you become conscious of how your energy is being used you can stop the leaks and create more balanced energy exchanges.

The most effective way to stop energy leaks is regularly practicing Active Meditation (more info). In this practice you visualize your energy field (aura), reset your chakras, create a new grounding cord and call your energy back to yourself (video example). Defining what is you and what is not you, energetically through this process, is key to dissolving the hooks from energy vampires too. When you own all of your energy, by being aware of how you are sharing it in the world, it is harder for people to take it from you without your agreement.

Your energy is your power. It took you a lifetime to develop how you share your energy, so be patient with the time it takes to break the habits that lead to energy leaks. Each energy leak you stop gives you more focus and fulfillment in your life.

Friday night I went to see a concert with a group of friends. We spent the entire time dancing front-and-center which always makes a concert more enjoyable for me. A couple taller women had edged their way in front of our group so we moved to the side. I noticed there was a walking dead energy about one of the women. Before the main act she fell to the floor extremely intoxicated. She needed help up.

Later she was dancing very erratically, whipping her head and body side-to-side she cracked her skull into the side of my head with a lot of force. Ouch! I gave myself space from where she was dancing and continued to enjoy the show. Around that time some of my friends moved father back in the venue as they were uncomfortable with the energy where we were standing. Without noticing she’d edged closer and again whack, she cracked me in the side of the head with her skull. She was so loaded she didn’t seem to notice. It rattled my brain. I put several people between the two us and didn’t have any other incidents the rest of the show.

That night I had a headache, thinking it was dehydration, I drank extra water. In the morning I still had a headache of an odd sort. I recalled the head-crack and noticed the base of my skull was tender from the sideways impact. As an intuitive I’m very sensitive to the energy of other’s in my space. I felt the energy of this woman in her absence and was curious about it. What was the whack about? Besides wanting to get rid of my headache, I wanted to see how her energy got into my space.  There is always something that allows the energy in whether we are conscious of it or not.

In mediation, I pulled an image of myself up on my reading screen and noticed the pain energy in my head area. I visualized this pain leaving my body, going into a rose, and then sent the rose to a faraway place to be dissolved. After that, I looked around to see if there was something more for me to learn.

I saw a belief system up for review, my assumption that I can have my own experience without being impacted by those around me. My belief was that people can’t get into my space unless they are someone I care about. I am flexible and don’t easily let other’s attitudes or experiences get under my skin.

Due to this belief I disregarded the signals telling me to move when these women first entered my surroundings. I wanted to be standing where I was standing and wasn’t going to change that. It was a concert, we all bought a ticket, it didn’t matter that people were drunk, on drugs or just unconscious of their impact on others. Right? But in the density of human energy around me I wasn’t paying attention to my intuitive hit that I didn’t want to be near her energy.

I laugh at the irony of a favorite phrase I’ve shared with many friends and clients over the years:

“Listen to the taps [your intuitive knowing], so you don’t have to get whacked up-side the head.”

Literally! Intuition is always trying to get my attention even at a crowded concert. There will always be people who get in my space who I don’t like having there. Life is full of these repeated opportunities to know my boundaries.

Like this space invader experience, some soul agreements are momentary opportunities to listen to my intuition. Reminders that even what seems like a small thing, that was ok to overlook or disregard, such as changing where I stand in a crowd, has repercussions. I had a headache for 24 hours and could have avoided it if I’d listened to my inner-guidance. On the bright side I got to learn about an outdated belief system that was getting in my way of taking action on my intuition and let go!

Spiritual Tests

Natalie —  January 29, 2015 — Leave a comment
This content is for members only

I write to you while traveling in New Zealand. Exploring another culture I’m always curious about the soul of the people.  The Maori (indigenous New Zealanders) have a term “turangawaewae” to express what all humans desire but few languages have a word for, the sense that our life is purposeful, fulfilling and that we have a place to stand.

I learned about turangawaewae when reading the story of a local painter and outdoor enthusiast. She takees multi-month kayaking journeys along the shores of New Zealand and paints what she sees in these remote parts of the coastline. In combining these two passions she she’d found her turangawaewae, her place to stand. The concept is defined as, “places where we feel especially empowered and connected… our foundation, our place in the world, our home.”

Finding one’s turangawaewae is a challenge for the majority of people I know. Even those with a clear and early artistic expression, talent or passion often struggle with feeling at peace creating space for it in their lives. Society conditions us that our purpose should be actualized in a job, financial pressures take priority over life balance, and we generally don’t receive any guidance from family, school or society regarding discovery of places we feel empowered and connected. We desire turangawaewae but don’t have a word for it in the English language or guidance to discover it.

If turangawaewae came easy maybe we wouldn’t value it or as someone once said, if you see a path ahead of you and each step to take, know that it’s not your path. It’s someone elses path. Your path only gets revealed one moment at a time, one choice at a time, as you live it. Suddenly you realize you’ve arrived somewhere even if you didn’t see that your experiences were adding up to somthing. You know its your turangawaewae because you’re at peace for longer periods of time, feeling empowered and on solid ground.

As I look back at my own journey to turangawaewae it was never a clear path. I was always curious about the spiritual world, what is unseen in the universe. From as early as I can remember I felt a deep sense of fulfillment from writing. As a young girl some of my sweetest memories are of writing poetry and prose among the grass and daffodils in our front pasture. But I often struggled with how these aspects of myself fit into what I was creating with my life and purpose.

I was attracted to self-reflect and heal incongruencies in my heart and mind as a teenager. This led me on a path of working with many spiritual, physical and psychological healing modalities. Then in my late 20’s I made a choice to learn healthier boundaries around my psychic experience, not even knowing how to define it at the time. I started clairvoyant training to help myself translate what I was experiencing and feel more at peace when in the the presence of others who were suffering.

Throughout my life I unconsciously empathically felt the energy or emotions of people around me. I often didn’t know when I felt bad that what I was absorbing or responding to in someone around me. For example, if I worked with a person who was depressed or angry, it would drain my energy.

For seven years off-and-on I took classes and regularly applied the tools for myself, becoming more and more clear on what I felt and what I was sensing around me. Feeling less and less drained or “off” from the energy of those I encountered. Eventually I was inspired to take the full clairvoyant certification training, again not planning to do something with it beyond using the knowledge to inform my own life experience and vanquish lingering doubts I had regarding my intuition.

The program had both a training and practicum component. Learning the tools, then applying them with other students or those who came to the school for student readings. I also began to share what I learned with friends outside of the classroom. I found it exceptionally fulfilling at the end of each reading to have shared what I had to offer to another soul as they were looking within to find more peace in their life.

In parallel I had been writing in the format of a personal blog for years when I found I was writing about self-reflective concepts, my passion for the soul’s experience and intuition. Combining these two expressions has brought me a deeper sense of inner-peace and fulfillment. Now over nearly 15 years after starting down the path of clairvoyant training and many more years of writing, I feel I have I had found my turangawaewae, the place where I feel the most purpose, empowered and connected both with my own essense and with others.

There is subtleness in how we wait for things in our lives. We imagine one thing needs to happen before the next can occur, believing life experiences naturally come in a certain order, so we wait. This needs to happen before that.  We need to have a certain amount of money, a relationship, a certain type of job or children out of the house, to create our dream.

I have a picture of myself living in a home I’ve designed and built with a partner in the countryside. With creek that runs through it, trees, and of course a beautiful view that makes us take a deep breath every time we look out the window. I had been waiting for someone to co-create this vision with but waiting was attracting more waiting.  I wasn’t creating my heart’s desire and it was impacting every day of my life.

Sometimes we are so close to our own view of the world that we can’t see where it’s holding us back. It hadn’t dawned on me that in waiting for a partner to have this life in the countryside I was denying myself happiness.  I finally was able to see that I was waiting in a way that had me stuck and attracting more waiting.

I’ve felt the call for several years now to leave the city and live closer to nature. Having grown up in the country and a small town, I never really saw myself as a city person when I moved to Denver 23 years ago. I got used to it and even enjoy it a lot. Still I’ve always known that my proverbial cup is filled by being in nature and as it stands now it’s somewhere I have to go to rather than the place where live.

A story I’ve been telling myself and others for years, is that I want to live the summer months in Oregon on or near my family’s ranch, and be in Colorado for the rest of the year.  The catch was that my “picture” of this life required a partner.  I am single, and waiting for the partner who wanted this life and could have it had been blocking me from creating the life I really want.

Last week I asked management at my technology job if I could live and work from Oregon for 3-4 months this summer. He said, “No problem. I don’t care where you work from. You work from home as it is.” While I work from home, I travel a lot for that job and moving will impact the distance/cost of my travel for work.  Having received this “Yes” I feel excited and surprised at the courage I see is needed to take this step.

As the reality of this creation set-in, I began to feel a new sense of freedom. I have stopped waiting for things to look a certain way and am creating what I want in my life. There’s not a story but a real experience I’m participating in.

The law of attraction is at work.  Because I had been waiting rather than creating, I was attracting more opportunities to wait rather than create and felt stuck in past creations that were great but I’d outgrown. Now that I’ve said yes to creating this vision, synchronicities continue to show up to support it coming to fruition.

What are you waiting for? Start creating and see what shows up to support your creation!

Life brings us waves of energy experiences.  Some of those waves are gentle, lapping at the shore of our lives, supporting our centeredness. The bigger waves pound the shore, encroaching on our space, while the occasional full on tsunami pull us out into a churning sea of energy that feels overwhelming.  It is these tides that come in and encroach on our space, or pull us into their force that can make us forget our way back to center. We get so caught up in the energy around us and feeling its stressful, out-of-sorts vibration that we don’t access our tools for resetting our life and energetic boundaries.

I recently was caught up in a tsunami of energy, gale force winds colliding from several directions. During this time I was able to use my psychic tools for my clients, helping them see clearly, moving energy out of their space that wasn’t theirs, removing blocks to moving forward in their lives. But I lost touch with accessing these tools for myself.  I noticed a specific area of my life where I had a block, but I was so triggered by this deep old belief, that I couldn’t break free. I’d been inconsistent in my daily practice of setting my intentions and was struggling when I tried to fully clean energy out of my aura that wasn’t mine or call my own scattered energy back to myself.

On a short trip away from home and vacation from work, I got enough space from the tsunami of energy that had engulfed me to break through and re-claim my center. It wasn’t easy, but I was determined to see this block. I called on my spiritual help, in the form of what I call my spiritual board of directors, a collective of supportive spiritual helpers, archangels and ascended masters. I asked them to bind the energy that was churned up in my life, preventing my clarity. 

I asked to see clearly what my part was in allowing the disruptive energy into my life, what needed to heal or shift in me to re-claim my inner peace.  I started by using the practices of clearing energy out of my aura that wasn’t serving me. Then I looked and listened for guidance.  When it came it was so obvious, yet very hard to look at in myself; a sobering belief that was not serving me about others and myself. The belief was keeping a, supposedly safe distance between me and my most intimate relationship, really keeping me from getting hurt by getting too close emotionally.

I claimed my power to erase that belief system, requesting spiritual help in its release. The first step is seeing clearly, and then we have to claim our seniority to change our experience through intention and through action. Once this false belief was lifted the waves pounding on the shore of my life kept churning but I had my inner-peace and accessing my tools was no longer a challenge.

 

Maintaining my center in the face of waves that were pounding the shore of my life was easier when I returned home.  Sometimes we need to give ourselves a little physical distance from the areas of our lives where the waves are encroaching. That physical distance, and assistance from our spiritual guides, provides the breathing room to reclaim our center.

 

In the morning I remember, by the afternoon I’ve forgotten, in the evening I remember again.  How many times I can remember and forget the same spiritual lesson?  It helps to have a good sense of humor about it.  Spiritual lessons are generally simple yet profound. We “get it” in an Aha! moment of recognition and breathe a sigh of relief in the awareness.  Suddenly we feel unstuck, clarity or an opening to new possibility.

When we learn a new spiritual lesson, it often feels like we are remembering something we’ve long forgotten because we are.  We are tapping into a universal truth that puts our earthly interpretation of life experiences in a healthier perspective. But it is easy to forget what we know when we get pulled into the prevailing energies operating around us, from demands at work or home, to our own impatience or fears of what might happen.

A coworker at my technology job is spiraling into worry, fear, and what-if scenarios during a phone call and it tosses the rest of my day out of alignment. Instead of feeling proactive and peaceful as I go through my work day I feel off-center and behind. Not even aware of what hit me.  A client calls with an “I need it now” demand and I forget to put it in perspective with the rest of my responsibilities. Only to find myself stressed out and behind trying to keep up with my prior commitments and complete the new request. I started the day out remembering and forgot. It takes a disruptive activity to remind me again such as a phone call from a friend or stepping outside to get lunch.

One of my spiritual lessons is “what is meant to be will be” or the Divine Plan is at work regardless of how it appears to me. It doesn’t mean I like it. I may feel sad, disappointed, disheartened or betrayed by God, confused, even angry. It is hardest to accept when what occurs feels like a loss. The unexpected death of a loved one, failure at something I’ve been working extremely diligently to accomplish, or struggling with something that seemed easy many times in the past. When we try every avenue only to have each lead to a dead-end, the Divine is sending us a message.  Our path is elsewhere.

Another personal spiritual lesson that I frequently forget and remember is regarding manifesting what I desire.  When I ask for something, if I can let go of how it arrives, (the timing and what form it takes) I’m more likely to notice when the prayer is answered. Demanding a certain form causes us to miss out on so many opportunities.  It’s in a sense trying to control the choices of others and the Divine. When we set an intention with control energy, such as “please help my current job give me a more flexible schedule, better pay, a boss who I feel is a mentor,” we are failing to allow flexibility in how it arrives. The job that offers these things may not be our current job but a new job that is more aligned with the request. When that other job shows up, we ignore the offer because we are stuck wanting our current job to change and match our desire.

The primary energies I’ve noticed get in the way of remembering my spiritual truths when I need them most are the fears and expectations of others.  Taking 10 minutes to get grounded and set my energy with a short meditation in the morning improves my odds of staying centered in the midst of all the energies that flow through my life in a day.  Meditation tools can be applied liberally here to re-center after we get thrown off, but that’s presuming we remember when it happens!

I’ve been traveling in France, Monaco and Spain for two weeks. Immersed in culture with a history so much deeper than my homeland, generations layered upon generations of human experience, heightens my awareness of the foundation of humanity. From the back breaking labor spent cutting limestone and granite to build structures that would survive two thousand years, to the spiritual practices that evolved from pagan to Christian evoking intense dedication, sacrifice and mystic beliefs, to the age of farming for survival in this region that has evolved into primarily luxury crops of wine grapes, olives, truffles and lavender… the story that this land tells from being touched by human pain and love is powerful.

While taking in all of this ancient magic of past civilizations that has survived to this day, I have to wonder what inspired the intense devotion to constructing amphitheaters, aqueducts and cathedrals that would last for hundreds even thousands of years? I realize there was plenty of survival fear and slavery involved, but the belief system is what fascinates me.

We humans get so invested in belief systems that are limited by the perspective of our points of reference. Before the age of science, we attributed much of the natural events that caused us harm, to punishment from a higher power. The few in power found ways to take advantage of this fear and use it to direct the energy of the masses. And in the midst of the hard labor, there was the satisfaction individuals and communities felt from creating something of substance together, beginning a task only their great-great-grandchildren would see completed.

Today we still allow belief systems to alter our experience of the world. Our beliefs are so often unconscious and the most powerful one’s are the beliefs we have about our Self. Our beliefs limit or expand our opportunity to live fully. When I reflect on civilizations, I realize we are still living with many of the belief based limitations of what is possible for us based on our material circumstances.

The culture we live in, the community, our friends, what we see in the media, all influencing what we believe is possible and how we direct our energy. Part of the darkness of the old world was that those in power were able to get away with suppressing and directing the masses to join their cause through the periodic act of torture, punishment or utilizing a natural disaster to explain why the people were suffering. Using the belief system that those with different class status have different inherent value.

Now we have come to believe that terrorism is part of our reality and future. It limits our sense of freedom to travel and feel safe even in our own land. We have been conditioned to believe that there is no safe place as we’ve seen children killed at schools and innocents killed at movie theaters. And those who took the actions to cause this “terrorizing” are living with a belief system that most of us don’t understand. What I believe is that we can shift our experience by shifting our beliefs about what is possible for us and what our inherent value is.

Looking at the work of these ancient civilizations throughout Europe, I am reminded to keep questioning my beliefs. Specifically the assumptions that are unconscious beliefs and those influenced by exposure to information from those in positions of power who would like me to stay in a fear based belief in order to maintain a form of control over society.

The Healing Power of Rest

Natalie —  January 9, 2013 — Leave a comment
"Spire" statue by Bruce Gueswell as seen at Denver Intl Airport.

“Spire” statue by Bruce Gueswell as seen at Denver Intl Airport.

Life surrounds us with constant stimulation of our senses.  We need to make time to rest our psychic space in order to hear our intuition clearly. One way we can do this is through what I call daylight dreaming, a restful psychic state on the edge between sleep and wake, not fully conscious yet not asleep.

In this place our spirit is processing its experience. It is coming to new awareness of the energies in our vibrational field that are ready to be released or resolved.  This is a restful state that brings healing, awareness and a sense of rejuvenation.

The visions that occur in daylight dreaming are like a slideshow of snapshots from our experiences.  They have emotions associated with them: friendship, love, anxiety, anger, shame, joy, confusion, grief.  As the scene drifts through our consciousness the unresolved energies take center stage. Often bringing to mind details we didn’t grasp in the moment of the experience.

In reviewing them from this restful place, they effortlessly begin to dissolve.  We feel deeper relaxation in our body.  We are still awake but our soul is actively directing the mind.

To access our inner-guidance this way starts with taking time to rest.  We can simply lay down and close our eyes, engage in shavasana yoga practice or meditation.  We encourage this state of daylight dreaming by resting when we are not physically tired but feel mentally overwhelmed.

Mediation to stimulate daylight dreaming:

  • Lay down with your eyes closed, quiet your mind.
  • Notice the places in your body that are tense and feel them relaxing.
  • Effortlessly visualize all the energy of your day before this moment, moving the images out of your body and into a bubble.  Send that bubble to a faraway mountain top and pop it.
  • Notice your emotions, how you feel.  There will be a dominate feeling and many other less dominate feelings all happening at the same time.  For an emotion that is negative or energy depleting, notice where you feel it strongest in your physical body.
  • With your mind relaxed let whatever image comes emerge from your memory, this image will connect your emotion, the place where it is holding in your body and the experience which initiated or triggered the emotion.
  • Then imagine that energy being drawn out of your body into another bubble and send it off to a faraway place to recycle its energy with neutrality.
  • This can be repeated with the next layer of strongest emotion that surfaces in your daylight dream.

Daylight dreaming facilitates healing, a relaxation of the mind and release of spiritual energy in our aura field that isn’t serving us. Allowing ourselves to fulfill this essential need to rest the body and mind, restores us to a place of greater strength. Rest reduces stress and cultivates inner-peace.  Resolving, releasing and healing our experiences bring greater clarity to our intuition.