We assume that bullying stops when we grow up and leave the playground of our childhood but it just changes form. Children grow into adults that learn ways to get what they want through other means. On the healthy side of development we take care of our own needs or ask others when we need something from them. Overt bullying is not tolerated among adults. Yet if a person doesn’t learn how to communicate their needs in a healthy way, they often continue to push their agenda on others in more manipulative ways. Sometimes this looks like a co-worker, friend or spouse who gives you options regarding a decision. When you choose an option that is not the one they want you to choose, suddenly it is no longer an option. You have no real choice. Control energy can be very subtle, such as someone telling you what you are going to do, rather than asking you what you are going to do. Or hijacking your time through pressuring you to do something they want you to do.
In the process of Self development, trying to control a situation is one way we test our boundaries with others and determine what is required to make things happen that we want to see happen in life. Children need good examples from adults who respect each other’s time, needs and energetic space. Adults who take care of the child’s needs and teach them healthy ways of getting their needs met. Behind all bulling behavior is a person’s fear that their needs will not be met.
When a person is bullying, you may sense their energy in your third chakra (solar plexus) personal power space. The control energy is trying to tap into your power center and redirect it for their use. It creates a sense of being pulled off balance. One part of us considers going along with their agenda to gain approval, even when we know the path is not right for us. Another aspect of us gets angry at having our needs and boundaries disregarded. This can activate resistance or conflict in the relationship. We don’t always have the desire or option to end the relationship with a person who bullies us, such as a family member or co-worker. In these situations we can use our energy awareness and practice self-care.
Here are two tools for preventing the bully energy sent your way from sticking to you:
1) Body of Glass – Imagine your body as invisible like Wonder Woman’s airplane. The control energy sent toward your body goes right through and has nothing to attach itself to.
2) Protection Rose – Visualize a rose that has a blossom as large as a stop sign and a thick stem that goes all the way to the center of the earth. Intend that this protection rose stands between you and filter out any control energy.
These tools will help you hold your center and feel unscathed by outside attempts to redirect your energy. With a clear mind and neutrality you can choose the path that is right for you.